Change

Change.  You either love it, hate it, or deal with it because you have no other choice.  And honestly, I think we all experience each of those  as we progress through life, perhaps starting at one and ending up at the other. 

I used to hate change.  I hated it because it scared me and I would try to avoid it and prevent it at all costs.  But, of course, change is inevitable when it comes to many things.  So, then I became the kind of person who dealt with it because I had no other choice.  And, for some things, I still take this approach.  But in the past year I have begun to embrace it, love it, and take it as it comes – sometimes with enthusiasm.

This time last year I was in my almost-freak-out mode.  The deadlines for graduate school opportunities were approaching within a week and then I would find out whether or not I was going or if I was going to have to come up with something else.  I was scared to death what would happen if I didn’t go to grad school.  And then, obviously, I didn’t get in.  And with that turn of events I really began to grow into this person I’ve wanted to be for awhile.

I’m calmer.  I recognize that no matter what happens, I WILL be okay and things WILL work out.  I’m incredibly lucky and I truly do have a lot going for me.  I’m a hard worker and it shows.  I’m okay with change now, I really sort of like it.  It stretches me and lets me grow more.  Actually, in the past 7 months I’ve really thrown myself into experiences that have the potential to change me a lot.

My job – Its been a huge learning experience.  Far better than going to grad school.  I’ve realized this is the agency I want to pursue a career with; I don’t necessarily want to do THIS job within it, but I like what the agency stands for and what they do for wildlife.  I’m doing my best to pursue a permanent position – I’ve got my foot in the door, now I just need to get the rest of me in there.  Hopefully the phenomenal contacts I’ve made will give me that push I need.

My ski patrol & OEC training – It aggravates me more than I like quite often, but I have learned SO much from it.  It has been extremely challenging at times.  I’ve become a better person for it.  I’m so much more prepared for the world I live in and the activities I choose to partake in.

Applying for jobs all over the country – I do tend to look for places with ample outdoors activities when I’ve applied for these jobs (in NC, TN, CA, WA, AZ, ME, and MN).  I know I can find horseback riding almost anywhere, but I try to find something else that would be fun to do in the area as well.  Willingness to uproot myself and leave everything I’ve ever known is a strange feeling for me.  But I’m comfortable with this because I know I can always come back home. 

All of this, and I’m not even 25 yet.  Not too shabby. 

Change is something to be loved and embraced for what it does.  Not all change seems good from the get-go (and I’m likely to have a super down day immediately after having a super positive one), but change helps us to grow.  Growing is good.  You learn more about yourself that way.

I’m going to end with a story.  The story pertains to change, growing, and what you make yourself because of it.  It is definitely something to think about.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.  He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.  One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.  The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”