Tension

At ski patrol training lately we talk a lot about tension vs. traction and we tend to use a lot more tension.  Traction is something we tend to only use for mid-shaft femur injuries, but tension can be used to realign the body or make an attempt to realign a bone or joint that is out of whack.  All of this talk about tension made me realize that for the past six months I've been really tense.  My muscles are tight and rarely relaxed enough for me to calm down 100%.

This. Must. Change.

One of the big triggers for me that made me realize the tension I've held in my body is my riding style of late.  (And by "of late"  I mean these past six months.)  It just doesn't feel as good as it used to.  Not as effortless.  I come away hurting.  Going back to riding Stan helped a lot.  Riding a balanced horse is very pleasant, but it still doesn't come with the ease it used to. (By the way, Orion is looking and feeling a lot better and has put on lots of weight!  His new mom is working with him using alternative and natural methods.  More on him here.)  

I rode Stan bareback the other night on a whim.  It made a big difference for me.  I even went so far as to buck-up and ride a few jumps bareback.  I impressed myself with that pursuit - I was seriously expecting to end up on the ground.  Boy was I surprised to find it was a lot easier for me to jump bareback than in a saddle.  I even went so far as to line him up for a jump and then drop the reins and extend my arms out on either side.  Success.  He launched himself a few times and I stayed on.  I wasn't as sore as I expected the following day.  The reason?  I was more relaxed riding bareback.  I managed to trust my abilities and ease into doing what I loved the way I used to instead of obsessing focusing on every little thing.


My healthier diet change has brought about many more dreams at night.  Luckily, no nightmares.  This has left me feeling mentally restless while my body does tend to be somewhat rested.  But now, for the past month-ish I wake up many mornings with a sore neck, tight jaw (that I sometimes can't open without a little massage), and more recently, headaches.  Waking up with a headache is the ultimate worst start to your day.  They're hard to move past.

Over the past couple days I've noticed how tight the muscles in my neck and jaw are and have practiced releasing and relaxing them.  That persistent little headache eases away a little each time.  Hmmm, maybe I should freaking chill out?  The job stability/grad school/real world worries have had me tense since the beginning.  I guess I thought I would ease into it and things would go away.  Errr, wrong.  I need to relax more than I'd thought about things.  Make an active effort.

I'm going to try to put yoga into my life a little more frequently.  Try to get myself on a schedule with it.  It will help me out in all the aspects of my active life (riding, skiing, etc.).  I'm exploring my options for which type of yoga I'd like to pursue, or maybe I will do Pilates?  I know riding books for both exist, but I want to figure out the best exercises - where best = most successful.

So here's where you, the reader, come in:
Have you tried yoga or Pilates for relaxation, riding, or both?
What do you find to be most successful?

Relaxing, why the hell not?

I had a mini-epiphany on my way to training this morning:

No matter how much time I usually have to get somewhere or to do something, I tend to be hasty - not in a dangerous way.  I just don't relax and enjoy the process of getting from point A to point B, be it walking somewhere or solving some sort of puzzle problem.  So, driving this morning I realized I should relax and enjoy more.  Be calm and enjoy each part of everything because time's gonna pass the same speed no matter what, so why the hell shouldn't I enjoy it?  (Similar to my revelation a few years ago about why the hell shouldn't I be happy all the time?  Shit happens, sure, but if you focus on the tiniest happy things then life doesn't seem so bad.)

I'm already walking slower, perfecting my posture in the process.  Looking around and just enjoying whats going on.  And this week I'll try to enjoy training and get the most out of it.

I'm at the National Conservation Training Center in Shepherdstown, WV for training for work on the Endangered Species Act (ESA).  Bound to be a lot to learn and bound to be a good time I hope.  The food here is flippin' amazing, too.  And I have my own room in the lodge.  My evenings will be full of relaxing, reading, and knitting.

Relaxing.  Oh yeah.

Let go laughing.

I'm slated to begin work on June 6.  So until then I'm jam packing my days with my absolute favorite things: my dog, my horse, climbing, zip-lining, and amazing friends.

Orion is really starting to form a bond with me.  It thrills me and at the same time I feel a little guilty because I've only shared this bond with one other horse.  Its been so much fun riding every day though - and visiting him the days I don't ride.

This past week has been a blur.  And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.  Work is fast approaching - which kind of sucks - but I'm having a blast in the mean time.  Three huge days of activity are fast approaching.  They'll be a trifecta of my favorite activities around here - horseback riding, climbing, and zip-lining. 

Also - Kenai's remote training collar arrived in the mail yesterday.  Range of 400 yards, negative and positive tone buttons, and 8 levels of stimulation.  Now when he runs off and doesn't listen he gets zapped.  It sucks, and I feel bad, but it beats him getting hit by a car or something from running away.  Being a husky and light on his feet its quite comical to watch him when he does have to receive the shock.  Sprinting away from me dead set on reaching his invisible goal ignoring all calling and the negative tone *zap* he rockets - without yelping - into the air, spins, lands, and stares at his rear end as if it is to blame.  Oh Kenai, when will you learn?  But really - he is learning the tones quickly.  And while he doesn't run back to me he DOES stop running.  Its a productive beginning.

Not having any sort of stress is so amazing after my final semester.  I'm relaxed now - so many fun activities help, also.  Due to this I'm actually getting less sleep per night than I'm used to, but I'm still feeling rested.  I had no idea how big a toll stress was taking on me.  Its amazing to be without it - for a time, at least - I'm having amazingly productive fun-packed days.

Funny anecdote:  Due to my usual state of stress my dreams are usually ones that freak me out and cause me to wake up in a state of distress.  This is gone.  My roommates this past year got me into Supernatural.  I gobbled up all of the seasons to catch up to the current one (which I've slacked off on the past couple episodes, shame, shame).  For those unfamiliar with the show, it follows two brothers who battle supernatural things (i.e. demons, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, etc.) and has involved angels vs. demons, God vs. the devils, etc.  So, day before yesterday I'm having this dream where I'm helping the two brothers (Sam & Dean) get rid of demons when suddenly Dean becomes possessed by one.  For some reason we had to get this t-shirt on him in order to get the demon out.  Right as I pull the shirt on him and the demon begins to expel from his mouth church bells start ringing - the alarm tone I'd set on my ipod.  I sat bolt upright in bed all, "What the hell?!  Oh, oh, ooohh, my alarm.  Okay.  Haha."

Being relaxed and calm is a wonderful thing.  Its nice to be able to laugh off things again, too.

It. Is. DONE.

Whew, so that's what work feels like?  No wonder I did everything way ahead of the due date through most of my college career.  Jeebus.

I just finished writing my undergraduate thesis.  I started at 8a this morning and worked until 1:30p.  ~3,300 words and 22 pages later - here I am.  Thoroughly exhausted.  I know that a giant weight is off my shoulders, but for some reason it still feels like its pushing down on my chest.  I don't know what I'm so concerned about.  I'm sure by tomorrow morning I will be feeling ecstatic again - or wait, no, probably not because I have to present at a symposium all day.  Sigh.  I suppose that's what that weight on my chest is - the symposium.  I printed off my 4 ft. x 3 ft. poster this afternoon.  It looks all snazzy.  I was paranoid I'd spelled something wrong until I checked it over three times.

After I printed the poster I headed to the hospital to say hello to little Jackson.  He was born yesterday at 7:22p.  8lbs 19.5 inches.  Jaci and Mike couldn't be prouder or happier parents!!

After a good visit with the beautiful little family I headed to Black Bear to devour my favorite dish and calm down about life a little bit.  Came back home to pack up more stuff to move home tomorrow.  I'm headed home for 5 days of R&R.  Two, possibly three, big presentations - including my thesis defense - on Monday.  Oi vey. 

For now, I'm going to watch Eat, Pray, Love and relax a bit.  Hope your Tuesday wasn't as stressful or full of work like mine!