Wednesday, January 29, 2025

The Animals

The question you're all asking: How are the animals?!

The TLDR; they're great! 

Now for a longer breakdown, we'll go oldest to youngest. 


Stanley

Stan will be 24 at the beginning of April and he's doing fantastic. He's fit and happy, though keeping him plump takes a little more work these days as he struggles with his aging teeth. He's down one molar, which gives him a little grief, but nothing too challenging yet! He still plays with Griffin every day and often one-ups Grif. 

While Q loves to be groomed and have attention, Stan is my cuddle bug. He wants to be in my pocket quite often when I'm out doing chores. His favorite thing is to just rest his muzzle on my head/cheek/crook of neck and snuffle me. He's just such a sweet spirit to be around and spend time with.

Thanks to the addition of the three horse trailer, Stan went on oodles of rides last year. Often he's a horse I put others on, but I did ride him a fair bit to remind him that he should listen to his rider as opposed to moving like molasses on his own time. We even did a solo outing or two to do trail work on the Nat'l Forest as a part of our Backcountry Horseman of America group (I'm VP). 

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Watching as we clear obstructions on the trail

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A very remote waterfall on Seneca Creek

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Bringing up the rear on a big trail work day


Q

Q is somewhere in the ball park of 19 this year. She's doing wonderfully and is my easiest keeper by far. Of all my horses, she was ridden the least last year. She attended every ride the boys went on, but was free to plod along at her own leisure. Once, we used her as a pack horse, which she seemed to enjoy. 

Q and I have always had a challenging relationship. I enjoy her thoroughly from the ground, but our personalities tend to butt heads once I'm in the saddle. So I decided last January that I was done pushing it. If I felt compelled to ride her, I would, but otherwise I was just going to let her be. She's an angel for others to ride (moreso than Stanley, tbh), and she's super happy to join us at liberty. 

Letting Q be Q at liberty on our outings was probably the best thing for her! Her confidence BLOOMED. She went from always following the boys to leading the pack as soon as we moved into a trot or canter. If the terrain was wide open, she'd opt to select her own path and gallivant off on her own for up to a quarter mile (these instances only occur in places with a long line-of-sight; Q loves her geldings and will not go out of sight, which makes her the perfect horse to let be at liberty on rides like this). It was really lovely to see her confidence build so much!

I did take her out on one solo ride in October, and she was great. But she still very much looks for monsters every second when she's solo under saddle. It's exhausting for me to hold constant space for her when she's like that. So while our one ride was great, I'm perfectly happy to just let her be her and be a horse for others to ride or be a packhorse. 

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The one big solo ride we did together on a remote rail trail in October

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Wild and free on a trail ride

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Picking her way through the Sods with a talented young rider who knows when to let Q do her thing


Griffin

Grif is 14. I don't know where the time went, but here we are. He's doing just as wonderfully as the others. He continues to be the horse I ride the most often because of the three, he's the horse who just enjoys work. He's the horse that wants to see what's up ahead and gives so much try when I happen to do flat work in lieu of trails. He's the perfect adventure partner as long as you don't ask him to cross any bridges; he is terrified of them! 

After an unfortunate bridge experience this past autumn, I'm afraid Grif feels more confirmed in that feeling of fear than ever. I dismounted to lead him across a bridge (he's happy to be led or follow another horse) and he slipped on the damp wood and could never get up off his knees the entire crossing (railings kept him from going anywhere but forward). It was super nerve wracking for him and for me, but neither of us were seriously injured from it. And lest you think that bridge was super awful and I shouldn't have led him across, little miss mare walked right across it with nary a slip immediately after.

Grif has proven his worth time over time these past two years with BCHA trail work days. I can trim small branches from his back and hammer trail markers onto trees without dismounting. it's so lovely!

The only other notable update I know y'all will enjoy about Grif is that I dyed his mane and tail a few times last summer for some photoshoots. The dye came out naturally (even with little to no rainfall) within two weeks. It was a fun and whimsical thing to do. 

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Canaan Valley and shrubby St. Johns wort in bloom
 
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Along the Allegheny Trail

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Being a magical unicorn for my coworker's kid

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And with Kate -- had to include a shot of that magnificent purple tail


Kenai

I suspect many already know this if you follow me on Instagram (@appalchianfirefly), but I let Kenai go at the end of March 2023. He was 13. He's the first of my animals I've had to let go and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was wrecked for the weeks leading up to it and months after. All of his adventures and knee surgeries caught up to him and his hind end just didn't last as long as his spirit. 

He was on 18 pills of various pain medications every day in the end. We ran his bloodwork constantly to make sure he was doing okay with each change to his pain management regiment. The moment his bloodwork values started to decline, we started making plans for the end. 

On his final night, he enjoyed a steak. On his final day, he and I took a long solo drive to the Sinks of Gandy for a final short hike in the last remaining snow. I drove us through McDonalds and got him a 20 piece McNugget and basket of fries before we went to the vet. We sat in the parking lot where I fed him all of it as we waited on the vet to come out. 

And in the end, he didn't want to go. He fought that sedative hard. So hard. It gutted me then and it guts me now to remember. I hate that his body failed him before his spirit was ready. And I don't blame him for fighting so hard to stay at the end. He had one hell of a life. He went on so many adventures and met so many people. Remembering the story of his life by the people we met through it is my favorite way to measure the time we had together. It was so rich and full. My 20s were an incredible chapter and I'm so glad he was the one I shared it all with. 

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The squirmiest puppy

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Young Kenai

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One of our many sunset snow walks

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Kenai
March 5, 2010 - March 29, 2023


Taiga

Taiga is 7 now. She's so easy going and continues to be the quietest husky ever. It's kind of remarkable how little noise she makes!

She doesn't push the envelope like Kenai did and is content to just hang around the yard without a fence or collar. While she loves getting out for miles and adventures, she's also the happiest house husky. 

I honestly don't have a lot to share or say about her because she's just such an easy little soul. 

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Perfect little queen

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Enjoying the view while the humans eat lunch

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Impatient with the leash, but being a good girl on this long slabby slog up Mt. Colden


Gidget

And now for her formal introduction to the blogosphere, meet Gidget! 

Gidget is a one year old corgi (Cardigan x Pembroke). She's an absolute doll baby and as bossy as can be, which I'm learning is just a corgi trait. She's remarkably durable, fast, and has surprising endurance. She's happiest with hikes/rides of 8-10 miles (the rides are easy-going and nothing like my endurance training rides of past). Her biggest hike to date that she did entirely on her four little paws was 16+ miles with 3400' of elevation gain in the Adirondack High Peaks. 

She has a backpack and doggles and has enjoyed motorcycle rides on the many miles of Forest Service roads in addition to a little bit of bicycling and one ski venture. She expressed a strong opinion about being in the backpack for the ski venture though, so after one downhill run in the pack, she was permitted to just run downhill on her stubby little legs. Which, despite snow that was 3 times as deep as she is tall at the highest point of her ears, she proved she can keep up just fine! Following skiers downhill kicks her herding instinct into hyperdrive more than anything else. I feel a little sorry that it stresses her out so much, but her little noises of frustration are adorable. 

Compared to silent Taiga, Gidget is a chatterbox. She speaks up when anything is "wrong", barks once to ask to come inside, and has a whole gamut of grumbles, whisper barks, and ow-wo-wows that she uses to communicate. It's honestly adorable. 

She's been the most delightful addition. I'm excited to share adventures with her!

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Yes, her ears are bigger than Taiga's

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10 or 11 weeks old here

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Happy smiley girl

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Identity Crises and Intrinsic Motivation

Oh, wait, what's this? It couldn't be me crawling back to the surface from a state of long-dormant blogging. In fact, it might not be. As I write these words, I'm still uncertain if I'll click "publish" when it's all said and done. And I am really not sure if I will continue to write after this post if I do (though I must admit, I've thought about coming back for over a year now), but here's something for now based on posts about "identity crises" I've seen floating around ye olde blogosphere recently. 

: : : : :

Regarding identity crises as a horseperson -- 

Endurance was my bread and butter for quite some time. I loved having a goal to pursue that also let me see stunning trails and landscapes. It was amazing. But when my little mare Q started to have increased bouts of not-quite-rightness that would pull us up at vet checks, it became a lot less fun. In fact, it became quite anxiety inducing not knowing if it would happen or when it would happen. Of course, there was the, Is this animal I care so much about okay and what can I do to make her okay? line of thinking that consumed me. So I did my due diligence and checked all the boxes to address that. And spoiler alert, no one could find anything truly wrong after numerous work ups. The best recommendation anyone could give was to focus on numerous small adjustments to see where that would get me. 

I took the time. I made the adjustments. Despite it all, the problem persisted. And with its persistence, another stressful line of thinking became very loud, I just spent $###, countless prep hours, and travel hours to get here and only to be pulled after one /two/ whatever loops for something no one can pinpoint or agree on being truly "wrong" beyond "consistently inconsistent NQR". 

With that line of thinking and the anxiety it induced, the fun of endurance just went away. The roulette feeling of being pulled over something consistently inconsistent was just too much. Horses are supposed to be fun. And this wasn't fun. 

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I suppose I could have found another horse more capable. But I love my horses more than I love any one sport or discipline. And I'm not going to swap them out for another just because they aren't perfectly suited for a sport/discipline. 

Knowing this and then making the decision to quit endurance was hard for me at first. I felt bereft without a goal to work toward. How could I possibly justify hours spent at the barn and miles spent on the trail without having a way to prove to myself it was worth it?! 

Oh wait, that's right. I don't need to prove it was worth it through any other way than answering yes to these two questions: Am I having fun? Do I enjoy this?

Always, the answer is YES.

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I floated about for awhile after making the decision to quit endurance. I simply enjoyed my time spent and miles ridden. It was great. But then got the itch again. I started to want to get back into something. But it was just not in my budget to be able to pursue anything once I crunched numbers on the various options. 

More to the point though? It wasn't in my budget to pursue something and give my horses what was best for them. Because what's best for my horses is always my biggest priority.  

For much of my life with these wonderful creatures, what's best for them robs my budget of the ability to pursue any discipline or pay-to-play horse activity. Affording the best diet, healthcare, etc. is worth far more than paying to play anything. I always knew this, but it took taking time away from any/all extrinsic motivation for it to truly become clear.

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These past few years have been ripe with me choosing what was best for me and my horses time and time again. It didn't really feel blogworthy at the time, and I didn't have the capacity to put the words down either. It's been a lot of nothing, to be honest. A big pause. A lot of grooming, feeding, frequent hoof trims, body work, and general animal husbandry. Relaxing and spending time together. Miles when we felt like it, but mostly just time spent together. 

The funny thing about taking time and removing all pressures and expectations? It helps rekindle things. Things like intrinsic motivation in particular, which for me is the type of motivation that keeps passions alive - likely for a lifetime. 

As my intrinsic motivation rekindled, I found myself wanting to get more miles on the trail with all three of my horses. No pressure, just time spent in nature seeing beautiful things that surround me. So, at the beginning of last year, I found an older 3-horse trailer and spent more time trailering out than I ever have before. I saw new trails and visited my old favorites. I brought along countless friends to enjoy the time with, too. Sharing the joy of remote areas on horseback with others is the most wonderful thing. 

And to a greater extent, it's that sharing of adventures with horses that brings me back to blogging. Sharing this enjoyment and sharing my adventures is something I very much enjoy doing and taking part in. The community I've found through it is incredible. 

So, uh, hi again? I think I'm back. At least in some capacity. 

Thursday, July 29, 2021

Starlight Lane Farm: Doubled

I expect this will be the last blog update for some time, and I'm going to make it count! 

Starlight Lane Farm has doubled in size. 

This spring, Dave and I made a last-minute decision to purchase an additional three lots. Real estate in our area has been absolutely INSANE since the pandemic. This area has never seen a boom quite like this. It's alarming and exciting and I will be interested to see how things pan out in the coming years. We certainly do not have the infrastructure to support a population boom, but I'm crossing my fingers that we'll get better internet at a minimum because these city people hate the lack of connection and love to raise hell about it... I digress. 

At any rate, the decision to purchase these lots changed a lot of things for the horses and myself. The biggest of which is that they no longer need to be dry lotted the majority of the time with carefully scheduled pasture rotations. Now, they get to return to a lifestyle of 24/7 turnout. They've got around 6½ acres of pasture to enjoy whenever they want now, and I have a one acre pasture now dedicated as riding space. 

Prepping the land and getting the fence built in for the new property went smoother than the first go around due to my simply knowing more, but the process was every bit as delayed and hiccupy as it was in 2019. Big plus of this go-round is that I did learn to independently operate quite a bit of equipment! Three different tractors, a mower, a brush hog, and a hydraulic post driver. I could have learned a skid steer + auger but opted out of that one because I'd had enough by that point!

Due to our closing date getting pushed 4-5 weeks later than we originally planned, my car accident, and Dave's ER visit, the majority of fence building ended up happening the weekend of July 4 and the following week. 

I could wax and wane poetically about the whole thing, but I think I'll opt to use photos to tell the story - per my usual.

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Brush hogging the new acreage.
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This was the most stress relieving day. The tractor was waiting on me when I got back from the hospital with Dave. I pretty much came home, changed clothes, and went straight out to hog. It was everything I needed and more after such a stressful 3 days.
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It was an incredibly hot day. I had all the sun protection on, plus my cooling towel that helped me survive the OD 100. 
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After a few hours, Dave came out with a pitcher of ice water for me and told me he'd take a turn while I cooled off and hydrated.
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He helped me get the single shrub out of the pasture. Bye bye autumn olive!
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After removing the autumn olive, I got back on the tractor for another hour. Dave came out to relieve me once more and finished the job while I took a quick shower and then sat on the porch sipping a beverage watching while he finished. It was SO RELAXING. And so well deserved after the number of days that preceded it. 
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The ponies even came over to keep me company while I sipped on my drink and watched Dave finish prepping the new pasture. Pretty much everything you see in the distance is their new pasture. The house (barely visible in top left) is along one property line and the pasture otherwise follows the tree line. 
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Ta da! All mowed and prepped and ready for line posts to be installed. (You can see the corner posts and braces already installed if you look closely.)
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Tractor sitting and beer sipping after a long day. I can't wait to have my own tractor one day. 

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Originally, the plan was to drive the posts with a hydraulic post driver on the back of a tractor. 
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Kate came over and we tried our best to get after it. But the driver was sticking and so persnickety. We couldn't get it to drive a post more than about 8 inches. I know without a doubt there were no rocks bigger than a baseball so it wasn't an issue with the ground. (The topsoil up here is disgustingly beautiful. Hot damn.)
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Well. Then Kate and I noticed this. Uh. Yeah. There's the problem! And there's no way what we did (the very little we did) caused this. SIGH. And so the decision was made that I would hand dig holes. Not ideal, but possible. There were only 24 line posts to install, so it wasn't too terrifying a prospect. 

I ended up digging six by myself this evening and then my back and body demanded a break. Austen, Mark, and Jenny were due to arrive the next day for the weekend and it was decided that we'd tackle it as a team. If I could dig six 22" deep holes on my own in 2 hours, we could probably make great progress as a small team. 
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 The first step to digging posts is to enjoy a proper dog pile. My brother demonstrates.
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The second step is to have your brother help your farmer friend butcher some animals and then coax him into bringing his auger and skid steer back up to my mountain top to auger line posts and expedite the day's process. (But not with that auger. That's for trees. We'd use a smaller one.)
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Will ready to check the hole depth on the first hole of the day.
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And so, with our small army of dogs and people, we set out to get the posts in the ground. We even took my 6 back out (ugh, that was a little painful to watch my hard work be exchanged for machinery lol) and redid them with the auger. 

I walked the perimeter of the pasture with the skid steer following, marked where I wanted the holes to be for each post, and then moved on. The team of dogs and people came behind and plumbed each post, refilled the hole, and tamped it. 
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So many humans for this job. It was a riot. We had fillers and tampers and plumb-keepers and beer holders. 
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Dave offering white claw as Austen keeps the post plumb while others tamp.
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In all, there ended up being 13 people and 10 dogs on site. We had a crew of 7 doing the posts and a crew of 6 spectating and heckling. It truly takes a village sometimes!
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I am so beyond grateful for this community. 
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Looking out to the far corner of the pasture. 
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Where we all ended up standing around after tamping the final post! Also worth noting how bundled up most folks are. On the 4th of July weekend it was quite chilly here. We had nights in the 40s and days in the upper 60s, low 70s. It was everything a Canaan Valley summer day should be and I loved it.
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Once the weekend was over and guests had returned home, I spent several very early mornings (pre-sunrise and a little bit after sunrise) and evenings around sunset/dusk running lines for the fence. (This is sunrise.)
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Fortunately, one fenceline (of three) is pre-existing and just needed a line of hot wire run across the top to discourage the horses (and my neighbors) from doing silly things. 
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It was a beautiful way to start and end my days. (This is sunset.)

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Once I opened the pasture up (of which I did take video but my horses are very unexciting about things like this and merely walked in, cantered four or five strides, then dropped their heads and got to grazing), I closed off the pasture closest to the house to become a permanent riding area. It's hard to see in this image, but I measured out a small dressage court and marked it. 
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I eventually plan to setup my jump standards out here, but first opted to set trot and canter poles. Best to build back slowly to our jumping habits!
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I also left a sizeable bridle path around the pasture for riding. I'm really pleased with this decision.

Additionally, you can see along this line how crappy the vegetation is. It was really thick golden rod through here and will take some time and seeding to bring it back as grass. With a little patience and work though, it'll be looking great in no time!
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Another rising sun over the new pasture as seen from my upstairs loft window. Where the previous fenceline appears to be is now absent of wire so the horses can pass through as they choose. The posts remain so that I can opt to temp fence/tape it off if need in future and because they'd be more work than I care to exert to remove.
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A mowed dressage court ripe and ready for riding!
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And one more shot of the mowed dressage court at sunset last week. 

When I purchased my two lots and built the barn in 2019, having this additional acreage wasn't on my radar. In fact, I never foresaw it even being an option. I'm honestly still a bit shocked by how everything has worked out. This mountain top is my personal paradise. The horses are so happy, I'm so happy, and my hermit of a husband is so happy to be able to keep people and homes from blocking the views he loves so much. It seems like quite the fortunate stroke of serendipity to be where we are. My gratitude for this farm knows no bounds - and likely never will. I send my thanks to the Universe multiple times a day for this piece of paradise.

As I mentioned at the start of my June Highlights reel, I'm going to (likely) be taking a break from this blog. Temporarily, permanently, I don't know. Once again, if you'd like to follow along a little more real-time with my adventures, please follow me on Instagram @estout18