New Goals

Last week was my annual raptor banding trip in Cape May, NJ.

Second year female peregrine falcon

It was a fantastic week because not only did I get to see my best friend who lives in California and interact with raptors, I was truly at peace mentally for the first time in MONTHS. Two huge things came to resolution right before my trip and I was thus able to completely check-out mentally.

Hatch year female northern harrier

I feel so incredibly revived (mentally) as a result! Such a great place to be knowing that I still have a lot of tough work projects coming up in my near future. They're not going to be easy, but they're not going to be anywhere as stressful as what I just tackled!

After second year male kestrel

During my week of vacation, I had a lot of time to think about things I haven't thought about in ages. I pondered future goals and other dreams that I haven't been able to focus on with any sort of gusto in a long time.

After second year male Cooper's hawk

As I pondered what exactly I'd like to focus on for myself and the horses going into winter, I kept coming back to two main things. And as I thought more (and read a lot of equestrian books/magazines that were on the back-burner for the past 6 months), I realized the two things I kept coming back to fit rather seamlessly together: yoga for me & dressage for the horses.

Yoga

The advent of a primarily desk-job entering my life 6+ years ago has led to much more sitting than I've ever done. My hips and lower back have cried foul at this since the beginning. In an attempt to ease the pain, I don't sit in the traditional sense much these days: I have a vari-desk that adjusts from sitting to standing and everywhere in between, and I sit on a yoga ball or an adjustable saddle stool when I'm not standing. However, despite these wonderful mitigation measures, I'm still battling tight hip flexors and anterior pelvic tilt more than ever before!

Enter yoga. It's something I have pursued with intermittent regularity over the years. Like any human, I definitely have a weaker side and yoga is one of the few things that helps me build that weakness while stretching and adding flexibility to the strong side. I always feel better afterward and I love how my body awareness increases along with added strength to my weak areas.

Second year female rough-legged hawk, a rarity for us

Yoga takes a lot of time and miles. It's akin to dressage in many aspects, you can't really cheat your way into the fancy "tricks" like handstands and other inversions. To truly execute those maneuvers, you've got to have a lot of body awareness and focused strength. If you've ever watched a skilled yogi flow through hand balances and inversions, you can't deny the raw strength present in their practice. The minutia behind the strength involved in such practices is both awe-inspiring and fascinating to me.

My two big goals for myself with yoga have always been splits and handstands. I know both are well within my realm of ability, I just have to take the time to pursue daily yoga to advance my flexibility and strength within poses. With a focus on splits first and handstands second, I will strengthen the weak aspects of my physique: hip flexors and lower abdominal muscles. The strength I'll gain along the journey will benefit my posture, my riding, my skiing, my rock climbing, and so many other aspects of my life.

Dressage

Since learning more about dressage, I have believed firmly that it will help my horses more than nearly any other pursuit. Teaching them how to build their bodies to be strong in the correct places and use that strength in the correct way will only help in the journey to pursue any other sport I choose to dive into.

Dressage is a journey though; it takes time and miles to build a horse up to be able to properly execute the proper steps through each level. Like with yoga, you can't cheat your way to the fancy trick-like maneuvers. If you do cheat your way there, you're bound to encounter other issues that will prohibit lasting success.

Riding dressage, being the partner your horse needs you to be, isn't easy. It takes a certain amount of "feel" along with proper body alignment and strength.

The rough-legged hawk's namesake, feathered "rough" legs - and tiny feetsies!

As I dove into a lot of dressage-focused reading on my vacation, I was reminded of just how not easy it is to properly ride a horse. Keeping your sit bones properly aligned underneath you, maintaining proper leg position, and then independently delivering a variety of aids to cue the horse quickly becomes downright complicated. Add in body weaknesses like tight hip flexors and weak lower abdominals and, well, frankly, you're a bit screwed.

But you know what I kept noticing as I read about the minutia involved in proper riding? So many of the notes about how to achieve proper body alignment and involve the exact same things I'm pursuing with yoga in my quest for splits and handstands. "Zipping up" your abdominals and tucking your pelvis will not only help you sit in the saddle properly, it will also help you hold a handstand.

Touché, Universe, I see what you did there.

Goal Unity

And thus, my winter goals for both myself and the horses have collided into near-perfect unity.

I will be pursuing stronger lower abs and greater flexibility in my hip flexors among other added strength gains to my body through yoga and also ask the horses to carry themselves with more balance and precision through dressage-focused exercises. With any luck, we'll advance together through these pursuits, building strength and skill along the way.

It's my hope that putting these goals into writing in a public space will help increase my accountability toward their pursuit. Only time will tell!

How amazing to have such a rare-for-us bird in hand! Sporting my Rolex hat, of course.

How about you - tell me about a time you pursued separate goals only to find that they benefited one another. Did you find it easier to pursue those goals because they supported one another? Or maybe you don't care one lick about goals and you just came here for the pictures of raptors 😉. Totally okay, if so, and know that I'm happy to field any questions you may have about them/the project - so ask away.

The Halfway Point

The year is half past. It's prime time for seeing what became of those goals I'd set in January.

Happiness 

 

I love my Pittsburgh friends and our shenanigans

 
I wanted to be happier, more relaxed, and much less hard on myself this year. As things have gone so far, I have 110% met this goal. I am happier than I have been in years. I am more relaxed than I have been ever. I am confident. I am minimally stressed.

There are certainly bumps from time to time, but I'm bounce right through them as they present themselves and learn what I can from them without stressing myself as I once would have.

I have a great, albeit chaotic, balance between horse things, climbing, mountain biking, and me-time. I'm so incredibly thrilled with the people in my life, my job, and the place I live.

Health of myself and the critters

 

Kenai looking super cool during his cold laser session at physical therapy

I'm fitter than I have been in years. While my trips to the gym and yoga ceased once the weather warmed, my fitness pursuits plowed ever onward. I ran for awhile and *kind of* enjoyed it, but it was a still a struggle. Mountain biking has taken a big role in my life now though. I adore it.

I've carved out a good bit more time for climbing...before the deluge of 2015 began in WV and it rained for 30 or 40 days straight. There is a lot of year left though, so I'm certain I'll carve out more time for climbing.

My fitness pursuits have lent themselves very well to my riding. Rider fitness is real, y'all.

Kenai's health had quite an obvious bobble. I had a good laugh reading what I wrote about his knees no longer being the issue. HA. That right hind flared its ugly head again. Hopefully we're finally on the right track though. We've begun PT/rehab with a specialist and things seem promising on that front. These things just take time. *crosses fingers*

The horses have been par for the course. Q is at a great weight and Griffin could stand to lose a little - something I'll work at these next few months.

The cats have become cat - and Atticus is great. Hodor was rehomed to a situation that was much better for him as my frequent absence over weekends due to all of my adventure pursuits never sat well with him and stressed him out greatly. He is now living a life of luxury with his very own 12 year old girl, 3 balanced meals a day, treats in between, toys, naps aplenty, and three other fur-siblings - including a big shepherd mix that ADORES him, a 25 lb. Chartreux cat who is thrilled to have another cat in his life, and a chihuahua who is ambivalent about it all.

Budget

 

Wine in a to-go tumbler and rainy walks with the pooch in the evenings

Kenai's surgery shot this deader than dead. I'm being stricter than ever with where I spend my money as a result. I'm doing well, but not terrific (saving money is a thing of the past right now). Time will tell. Pre-surgery saga though, I was staying right on budget and doing really well. And honestly, despite the hardships with this surgery debt, I'm really impressed with my ability to limit my spending.

If not work-related or on a date of some kind, I have completely cut eating out out of my life. Same with going out to bars/for evening entertainment. If it isn't work-related or a guy isn't treating me, I simply don't do it anymore. It's impressive how much one can save by cutting that simple thing out of their life. (Though I really hope to be able to reintroduce in a few months...)

While I am loath for summer and warm weather to go away right now (please be warm forever and ever, amen -- until it's winter, then I want hella snow er'rywhere), I am excited for my winter season of 3 paychecks from my three jobs (2 seasonal as ski patrol at two resorts). All in due time...

Slow down

 

I mountain biked to this overlook of the Blackwater Canyon and took this photo

More knitting, reading, crafting, cooking, and photography.

• I haven't had the knitting bug, just haven't. Maybe it'll hit when the cold weather returns? 
• I finally dove in and bought a kindle this year. I ADORE IT. I read SO much more than I have in years. I'm a fourth of the way to meeting my goal of reading 20 books this year. I fully intend on meeting my goal by year's end. I've only had the kindle a short time. 
• The crafting has been hit or miss dependent upon what I need. When it hits, it hits hard and I fulfill it. 
• I'm definitely cooking more due to the whole "I can't afford to eat out" bit. So I'll count that one as fulfilled.
• I'm definitely using my camera a bit more thanks to friends with children. One of my really good lifelong friends had her first child this spring and we've done several small photoshoots already. I love getting to practice the photography and they love having a multitude of free photos. Win-win.
  

The Horses

 

Griffin and Q

-Q- She is at a better place mentally, we have a better partnership, and she's loving her job more than ever before. Goals met. Now the trick is to continue to maintain, foster, and build upon each of those things.
-Griffin- He has a new job to pursue, and he adores the work. He's so happy and game every time we ride which makes it a total joy for me, as well. There is a lot of potential in this little grey horse, and I'm having an absolute blast unlocking it!
-My Riding- While I haven't been able to afford monthly lessons as I'd hoped, I feel like my riding is in a better place than it has been in awhile due to my level of fitness from cross-training. I'm really enjoying the diverse activities I'm pursuing between both of my horses' disciplines. With any luck, 1x monthly dressage lessons will begin in September. These will only be 1x a month because I will be traveling 2.5 hours one-way to take them. *cringe* It should be worth it though!

30 before 30 goals for the year

-Do a split- I'm no closer to this than I was.
-Practice yoga consistently- I was very consistent for a long time there. Then warm weather came and other activities entered and became more prevalent in my life. It's seeming that, for me, yoga is a "winter" sport. It pairs well with skiing. In truth, it pairs well with all things, but in so far as me practicing daily, it's much more of a winter thing right now. And that's okay - at least it is more prevalent in my life than it once was!
-Skydive- Pending. I wish I could say more, by my mother reads this blog (HI MOM.) and has forbade me from telling her ahead of time that I'm going to skydive since I was a small child. She always says, "Tell me AFTER." So, in light of that, I'll just be telling everyone *after*.
-Learn to play mandolin- I sold my alto saxophone (*sob* but I just didn't play it like I used to) and bought a mandolin. I currently know 4 chords that I can blast back and forth between easily, can play major scales on each string, and I can almost play OCMS' Wagon Wheel. This 30 before 30 goal is well on its way to being crossed off!

So...

Par for the course - at a minimum! I'd even venture to say I'm subpar and have managed a birdie and maybe an eagle. (Guys, I played golf for the first time a couple months ago, so I obvi get to use golf terms now, right?) I'm pretty pleased with how things have gone, are going, and will hopefully continue to go. The year is not without bumps, bruises, and hiccups along the way, but by and large, it's good. I'm good. I'm happy.

All In A Month

I've been lax with my "All In A Week" posts this month. Mostly, I've been lax with writing and blogging and social media in general if it isn't Instagram. (@estout18) Thus, here are some photo moments not captured within blogland this month. Griffin was surprisingly unphotogenic in December it seems.

1. Kismet. For a week at the beginning of the month I had a third cat. I picked her up on the side of the road. She was a 2/9 body condition and after a week of living with me, she died in my arms. It was a really tumultuous few days for me.  2. Kenai has been quite inactive this month after re-pulling his groin muscle.  3. I did a lot of yoga this month through participation in several yoga challenges on Instagram. It was a lot of fun!  4. Q's new halter-bridle from the Distance Depot arrived. In addition to her kimberwicke, she now also has an S-hack.  5. Yoga. Lots of it. Hollowback handstand with wall support.  6. Q has taken to rolling in new ways that cover both cheeks and above both eyes with mud. I'm impressed with her skill.  7. These are endangered Virginia big-eared bats. I'm a biologist by trade and was lucky enough to do some field work with these guys earlier in the month.  8. The Shittenest of them all, [K]Atticus. He's more splendiferous every passing day.  9. Trying to become bolder with my handstands away from a wall...  10. Six Stouts 'a Skiing.  11. Stayin' classy.  12. Giving Griffin kisses and Q's schnozz stuffed deep in the bag of peppermint treats. The former is a typical occurrence, the latter? That's Q's new confidence personality coming out on camera.  13. Looks like May, but it was December.  14. Kenai got a professional groom at the beginning of the month. He looks nearly as floofy now as he did then! (This photo was from day after groom.)

Final 2 weeks of the Yoga Girl Challenge

I'm more than a little behind on cross-posting this to the blog!

Day 9 of the yoga girl challenge: True Forgiveness The few people who have truly hurt me deep caused me to hold an internal grudge for a long time. Fortunately, today's challenge helps me to think back on those people in a softer light, with forgiveness. It's good to release those grudges from my mind; freeing. More than those grudges though, I need to forgive myself for things. Oddly, this isn't as easy as forgiving others, but it is getting easier to do all the time. I'm really embracing the universe and just letting things flow more and more. My past shows me that all my worrying was for naught because ultimately the universe did as it wished. I can't blame myself and hold things against myself that I really had no control over. Here is to breathing, relaxing, and releasing myself from the bonds I placed against myself. Forgiveness is good.

Day 10 of the yoga girl challenge: Get Creative A perfect day for me for this challenge! I've got a lot of painting to finish up since the weather is finally humid enough to paint. And when that's done I will figure a creative way to salvage some metal and reorganize some things. I love being creative in so many ways. It makes my heart happy to create and recreate things.

Days 11 and 12 of the yoga girl challenge: Random Act of Kindness & Get Shit Done. Once again, I did several small acts of kindness over the past few days instead of one big one. Spread the love. And I have done SO many things this weekend I needed to do. My to do list is miniscule now! Finished the cart, cleaned up the yard, 2 loads of laundry done and put away. 5 total horseback rides including one lesson for me - my first in over a decade! (note Atticus weaving around me in the photo)

Day 13 of the yoga girl challenge: Be Fearless. Change, big change, is one of my biggest fears. Change like moving or relationships with friends being significantly altered or losing someone or anything big like that. I don't think that kind of thing is easy for anyone, and none of us can escape big change. It happens eventually. I've pondered leaving WV for school or career for a long time now. I've tried time and time again to leave, but despite my efforts (4 grad school applications and > 45 job applications) through the years, I've remained in WV. The thought of leaving becomes harder and scarier the longer I'm here. I love it here, but I know I will leave at some point - if only for at short time. As jobs arise in "dream" locations, I still put in for them half-heartedly. I'm happy in my current position and hope to stay for several years to come (why leave a good thing), but every time I submit an application I have a rush of thoughts about "what if". What if this is the one? What if I take the plunge and *just go*? And then I have a micro panic attack about how big of a change it would be and how crazy and fun and stressful it would be. I like security. I like comfort. Ergo, big changes scare me. But I need to get better about them. If I dont, the stress will rule me when I inevitably have to deal with change. And thus I meditate. And I practice mindful exercises to keep me rooted in the present and in logic, not fanatical "what if" situations. And while it's a continual effort, big changes don't scare me as much as they once did. I have trained myself to seek meditation to calm my frantic mind and bring it to a better, level place. It's a much nicer place to be, and this tactic has helped me through every fearful moment I have had the past couple years. 

 Yoga girl challenge day 14: Clean Out. Well, data on my phone was off until today so I'm a day late posting! Cleaning out is something I'm really great at. I'm constantly purging material possessions throughout the year. It feels so good to have less clutter around me and it's always so great when I can re purpose things. Living in a space that only has one closet for the past year + has led to a lot of cleaning out of unnecessary things. 

Yoga girl challenge day 15: Sweat. Not in the fitness way did I sweat today! This lovely mare was having an off day and put us into a sticky situation that ended up with me on the ground! Tallest, biggest horse I've been dumped from! And plenty of moments to think about how I was going to fall and when, too. Fine though. And we ended on a good note. 

Day 16 of the yoga girl challenge: Alter. Photos of some of my endurance rides complete with my first mileage award badge that spurs me forward to my 500 mile mark. 

Day 17 of the yoga girl challenge: I love you. I'm bad at posting this on the actual day! I spend the day thinking about them all day long and then never actually post! Love to me has always been more of a private thing. I'm not the person running around yelling it aloud to anyone who wants to listen. I try to let my actions show it more than my words. I try to give my time to those I love and spend as much time as I can with them. I try to partake in their activities and share mine with them. I'm loyal to my friends and go out if my way to be there for them through good times and bad. I've had people observe the amount of time i spend with someone or with my animals and remark, "I can really tell that you love _______ because you devote so much of your time". I may not say those three little words, I love you, but I certainly love all of my friends, family, and critters very much. 

Day 18 yoga girl challenge: Mother Nature. No caption. Just enjoy.

Yoga girl challenge day 19: Random act of kindness. Helped a friend pick up her yard today.

Yoga girl challenge day 20: Something New. Ran the Upper Yough with my buddy @hazetheguide today. First time running it without swimming. Also did a headstand IN THE RAFT during some flatwater at the end. Something new: check!!

Yoga girl challenge day 21: Self Love. The final day. I did it. Amazingly enough. And on the final day I am supposed to channel the good and the love from the previous 20 days into myself and do things for myself today that make me happiest. While I thought about it a lot today, today wasn't the day for doing such things. I certainly did things I enjoy, but they were intermittent. I have excelled at such days in the past and loved them; today just didn't warp into one of those. One will certainly come though. Taking time for myself to make me happy is something I have tried to do a lot more of in recent years. It is so important to be able to love yourself and make yourself happy without relying on others. Some of my favorite days are those when I do MY thing all day and then end the day by taking myself on a date alone. Total peace and happiness. I think I will continue to ponder over this day's challenge and execute it in a more private way later in the week.    

Yoga Girl Challenge Week 1

In an attempt to continue my journey to better myself, I have begun the Yoga Girl Challenge.

It was started by popular instagrammer Rachel Brathen (yoga_girl) several weeks back. She ultimately chose one challenge participant for a free spot in one of her yoga getaways in Thailand.

The contest aspect of the challenge ended the day I began the challenge, but with such a wonderful daily challenges and quests for self-improvement it seemed a great thing to pursue with or without a "prize" at the end. To me, the journey to better myself and be healthier both mentally and physically is prize enough.

Here were my posts during the first week (request to follow estout18 on Instagram if you'd like to follow along each day).

Day 1: Yoga Every Damn Day. 

I was in a great daily yoga routine 3 years ago - then I separated my shoulder and had to cease and fell way out of practice. I think it's time to fall back into daily practice. It calms me and helps me to focus on the moment at hand. Additionally it is a great way to build balance and body awareness which helps in all of my pursuits.

Day 2 of the yoga girl challenge: Meditation. 

Something I've fallen in and out of since graduating college. It always helps me to calm down and focus on the present. I hope I can do more of it and make it a steadier practice than I have of late. Photo is a headboard to a bed that I focused on while mediating today. The subtle play of light on the wood gave my eyes something to wander while I set my mind to rest.

Day 3 of the yoga girl challenge: Rise and Shine.

Not a hard one for me! I start my work days between 6-6:30 most days. Today was a 6 am start; up at 5:25a and on the road for work by 6a to watch some hydropower and relate it to work stuff. Welcome to Gauley season 2014! 

Mary on Q

Day 4 of the yoga girl challenge: Random Act of Kindness. 

I didn't focus in on trying to do any *one* act today. When I think back on it I did several small random acts of kindness throughout the day. Nothing overly great worth mentioning, but things I didn't need to do that I went out of my way to do to try to make someone else's life a little better. Mandy made a good point when we were discussing it that the challenge is really more of a way to get you to think harder on kind things you can do for others more often - and I couldn't agree more! She also pointed out that random acts of kindness are something we should do more of overall - in these next few weeks of challenge and for life. Truer words... 

Day 5 of the yoga girl challenge: Get Rid of a Bad Habit. Excuses. 

I make them outwardly and I make them inwardly to myself. They're about minor and major things and everything in between. I have been bothered for some time now about the number I make - especially to myself. They need to stop. It won't be easy. But I need to start somewhere! Here's to being more forthcoming with myself and others about all things. No more (or at least significantly fewer) excuses. 

Day 6 of the yoga girl challenge: Start A New Routine. 

How about a new routine of being easier on myself? I'm constantly too hard on myself, my dog, my horses. Cheers to relaxing and letting things be and being proud of where I am and what I've done. 

Day 7 of the yoga girl challenge: Thank You. 

Today, and every day, I am grateful. For my friends and family and their unwavering love and support that truly is humbling and inspiring. For the beautiful place I call home that awes me daily with its demonstrations of beauty. For my menagerie of animals, who while expensive and vexing at times bring me more happiness than anything else. For my good fortune in so many things (brains in my head, food in my stomach, a roof to shelter me, a healthy body). This is a truly wonderful life. So much to be grateful for...and so important to remember it all daily - especially days like today when I'm struggling the most with stress and anxiety that has me at the verge of a mental break down. I'm especially grateful to Mandy for helping me through some exceptionally tough moments today when I know she was busy juggling some big life stresses of her own. <3 you lady. #grateful 

Yoga Update & Recipes

Yoga update – I'm back to it.  Shoulder is feeling better, but mostly I need to maintain my back, its been hurting more lately and I’ve even gone so far as to visit a chiropractor – something I previously didn’t put a lot of stock into.  My ankles are crap, my shoulder is becoming crap, but I cannot let my back get to that point.  The only reason I do minimal efforts to maintain my ankles is because the issues I have with them don’t have any influence on my horseback riding or skiing - and honestly, I've been to PT for my ankles and have attempted a lot of different things for them since the issue began, gawd, 6 years ago?!  If my back goes to pot, goodbye riding, goodbye happiness, goodbye life.  I will be one cranky, sad individual.  So, its time for me to learn how to maintain and improve whatever I've got going on.  My hope is that yoga will help strengthen all my problem areas - especially my back.  The relaxation benefit of it is great, which is bound to help my body in more ways than one.

Battling TMJ and having a mouth appliance (retainer and night guard) has really altered my diet to encompass a lot of soft foods as I've adjusted to having said appliances.  I was one of the lucky ones as a kid who never had braces, a cavity or anything.  My bite is perfect blah, blah, blah.  But stress through college led to me clenching and grinding my teeth at night which led to the tempromandibular joint becoming a bit off which led to clicking while chewing, pain, a locked jaw at times, and waking up multiple days a week with a headache.  Yay... not.  But perhaps YAY because I've found new and strengthened old favorite recipes because of this!

New: Egg-in-the-hole, avocado style.  Pretty basic, made the same way as egg-in-the-hole with bread, but use an avocado instead!

Since my phone ate the photo I had of my food, I
thought this was a cute substitute.

Grapefruit avocado salad: Two ingredients that complement each other so well, but that I never considered as a good match.  Just grapefruit and avocado - no dressing needed!

At two o'clock in this photo is the salad

Bagel thins with almond butter and bananas: I eat this for breakfast lately.  Nutrious and filling!

Old/improved: Tuna salad.  Previously my tuna salad consisted of tuna, mayo, and relish.  Thanks to Pinterest and the interwebz, I now have added paprika, cumin, and onion/garlic powder to the mix.  SO tasty.  Especially when you live on the not-coast like me and all tuna is strictly from a can.

Seasonally improved: the version of tortilla española (typical recipe sans onions since - while I really like them - prepping them/cooking them KILLS my eyes and I'd just rather not deal with that) I love so much has had ramps (an endemic species of leek that grows in our WV woods in the spring, similar to garlic) added to it lately.  My breath reeks, yeah, but damn, the combination of sauteed potatoes, ramps, and egg goes so well together.  Its quick, its easy, and its soft - my new requirement - so I'm thrilled with it.  And you can't really go wrong with raw ingredients like that being super unhealthy or anything.  =)

Ramp & spinach pizza:  Another great seasonal use of ramps.  Nom, nom, nom.

Have you found/improved/rediscovered any recipes lately?  Please share!

WW: Tree Poses Across the West