Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Griffin is Five

My grey gelding turned 5 on Sunday.

Fifth year conformation photo - forgive the off-whiteness of his socks; working on our canter one afternoon - he was particularly speedy this day and it was difficult to get him to focus due to a tractor in the adjacent field; jumping 2'9" for the very first time! We slowly built up to that jump throughout our ride and jumped it 3x for a really incredible end to our day.


I love him so.

He's come a long way and I'm really pleased with him - even if he does need to tone up quite a bit! But that's on me, not him, and I've been a very busy girl this summer. We'll be in shape soon enough, but why rush? Our slow and steady course is doing quite well for us. And I honestly wouldn't be too hurt if he went into winter with some of that belly - I've got PTSD from how much weight both horses lost last winter despite my best efforts.

Best laid plans being what they are, my plans to really buckle down and ride Griffin every day this week died with a partially torn quadriceps muscle I obtained over the weekend. Fortunately for me, unfortunately for him, the muscle is healing quickly with rest/active rest these past three days. (Hurrah, because it really hurt like a bitch for 48 hours and I feared the worst.)

I plan to move Griffin into more steady work as summer fades into fall. He's a physical adult now; mentally, he'll get there, too, with time. However, I must note for the record that he has been an absolute super star in his work all summer. I've lost count of the number of rides that began really horribly that turned into "our best ride ever" - only to be replaced by another "best ride ever" the next session.

Our rides of late involve flat work early and follow up with jump work. We use the flatting to warm up and gain his focus. We start slow with lots of bending exercises, building into trot work with bending. From there I like to really mix things up for him with a lot of transitions to keep him guessing - it also serves to get him working from his hind end more. By the time I've done all of these things, he's warm and focused and ready for jumping. (Well, truly I think if he had the choice he would just jump immediately. He's always ready to jump!)

We're not without our bumps and bobbles, but I've got to say, forward progress is very evident. I'm so incredibly pleased with our progress and this horse's work ethic. He really, truly loves his job - especially jumping.

We shall see what next year brings in terms of eventing competitions! I suspect this little horse will love it though.

Happy Fifth, Griffin. Here's to many more.

Monday, July 27, 2015

A Little Help?

Do you have $5? $10 to spare? A little can go a long way...

One of my best friends and fellow blogger Saiph is going through some dire financial straights with her mare Lily. Yes, insurance covered the initial surgery, but there have been post-op complications that have led to multiple emergency vet calls to the farm - things that aren't covered by insurance. These additional costs are racking up to ~$2k

Saiph and her husband Charles are incredibly hardworking people - some of the hardworkingest people I know. C has been working OT to help with this added strain on their already very, very, VERY tight budget. Saiph wants to pick up a second job, but is already maxed out working her job AND going back and forth to the barn at a minimum of 2x/day to take care of Lily to try to keep additional board costs down (stall board is more costly than field board, as we all know). They're doing all they can to make ends meet, but it's so very hard, as anyone with a tight budget understands.

Karen and I have set up a GoFundMe page for Saiph and Charles to help a little bit with everything that has been happening with Lily and the additional complications. They're worn so thin already and we wanted to try to make things a little easier. If I lived closer I'd be having them over for meals multiple times a week to make things a bit easier or I'd be offering to do other small chores to help make their lives a bit easier in this tight time - but alas, I'm 3.5 hours away which complicates things.

So, if you've got a little bit to spare, please consider donating a bit? It only takes a few clicks.

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Halfway Point

The year is half past. It's prime time for seeing what became of those goals I'd set in January.



I love my Pittsburgh friends and our shenanigans
I wanted to be happier, more relaxed, and much less hard on myself this year. As things have gone so far, I have 110% met this goal. I am happier than I have been in years. I am more relaxed than I have been ever. I am confident. I am minimally stressed.

There are certainly bumps from time to time, but I'm bounce right through them as they present themselves and learn what I can from them without stressing myself as I once would have.

I have a great, albeit chaotic, balance between horse things, climbing, mountain biking, and me-time. I'm so incredibly thrilled with the people in my life, my job, and the place I live.

Health of myself and the critters


Kenai looking super cool during his cold laser session at physical therapy

I'm fitter than I have been in years. While my trips to the gym and yoga ceased once the weather warmed, my fitness pursuits plowed ever onward. I ran for awhile and *kind of* enjoyed it, but it was a still a struggle. Mountain biking has taken a big role in my life now though. I adore it.

I've carved out a good bit more time for climbing...before the deluge of 2015 began in WV and it rained for 30 or 40 days straight. There is a lot of year left though, so I'm certain I'll carve out more time for climbing.

My fitness pursuits have lent themselves very well to my riding. Rider fitness is real, y'all.

Kenai's health had quite an obvious bobble. I had a good laugh reading what I wrote about his knees no longer being the issue. HA. That right hind flared its ugly head again. Hopefully we're finally on the right track though. We've begun PT/rehab with a specialist and things seem promising on that front. These things just take time. *crosses fingers*

The horses have been par for the course. Q is at a great weight and Griffin could stand to lose a little - something I'll work at these next few months.

The cats have become cat - and Atticus is great. Hodor was rehomed to a situation that was much better for him as my frequent absence over weekends due to all of my adventure pursuits never sat well with him and stressed him out greatly. He is now living a life of luxury with his very own 12 year old girl, 3 balanced meals a day, treats in between, toys, naps aplenty, and three other fur-siblings - including a big shepherd mix that ADORES him, a 25 lb. Chartreux cat who is thrilled to have another cat in his life, and a chihuahua who is ambivalent about it all.



Wine in a to-go tumbler and rainy walks with the pooch in the evenings

Kenai's surgery shot this deader than dead. I'm being stricter than ever with where I spend my money as a result. I'm doing well, but not terrific (saving money is a thing of the past right now). Time will tell. Pre-surgery saga though, I was staying right on budget and doing really well. And honestly, despite the hardships with this surgery debt, I'm really impressed with my ability to limit my spending.

If not work-related or on a date of some kind, I have completely cut eating out out of my life. Same with going out to bars/for evening entertainment. If it isn't work-related or a guy isn't treating me, I simply don't do it anymore. It's impressive how much one can save by cutting that simple thing out of their life. (Though I really hope to be able to reintroduce in a few months...)

While I am loath for summer and warm weather to go away right now (please be warm forever and ever, amen -- until it's winter, then I want hella snow er'rywhere), I am excited for my winter season of 3 paychecks from my three jobs (2 seasonal as ski patrol at two resorts). All in due time...

Slow down


I mountain biked to this overlook of the Blackwater Canyon and took this photo

More knitting, reading, crafting, cooking, and photography.

  • I haven't had the knitting bug, just haven't. Maybe it'll hit when the cold weather returns? 
  • I finally dove in and bought a kindle this year. I ADORE IT. I read SO much more than I have in years. I'm a fourth of the way to meeting my goal of reading 20 books this year. I fully intend on meeting my goal by year's end. I've only had the kindle a short time. 
  • The crafting has been hit or miss dependent upon what I need. When it hits, it hits hard and I fulfill it. 
  • I'm definitely cooking more due to the whole "I can't afford to eat out" bit. So I'll count that one as fulfilled.
  • I'm definitely using my camera a bit more thanks to friends with children. One of my really good lifelong friends had her first child this spring and we've done several small photoshoots already. I love getting to practice the photography and they love having a multitude of free photos. Win-win.

The Horses


Griffin and Q

-Q- She is at a better place mentally, we have a better partnership, and she's loving her job more than ever before. Goals met. Now the trick is to continue to maintain, foster, and build upon each of those things.
-Griffin- He has a new job to pursue, and he adores the work. He's so happy and game every time we ride which makes it a total joy for me, as well. There is a lot of potential in this little grey horse, and I'm having an absolute blast unlocking it!
-My Riding- While I haven't been able to afford monthly lessons as I'd hoped, I feel like my riding is in a better place than it has been in awhile due to my level of fitness from cross-training. I'm really enjoying the diverse activities I'm pursuing between both of my horses' disciplines. With any luck, 1x monthly dressage lessons will begin in September. These will only be 1x a month because I will be traveling 2.5 hours one-way to take them. *cringe* It should be worth it though!

30 before 30 goals for the year

-Do a split- I'm no closer to this than I was.
-Practice yoga consistently- I was very consistent for a long time there. Then warm weather came and other activities entered and became more prevalent in my life. It's seeming that, for me, yoga is a "winter" sport. It pairs well with skiing. In truth, it pairs well with all things, but in so far as me practicing daily, it's much more of a winter thing right now. And that's okay - at least it is more prevalent in my life than it once was!
-Skydive- Pending. I wish I could say more, by my mother reads this blog (HI MOM.) and has forbade me from telling her ahead of time that I'm going to skydive since I was a small child. She always says, "Tell me AFTER." So, in light of that, I'll just be telling everyone *after*.
-Learn to play mandolin- I sold my alto saxophone (*sob* but I just didn't play it like I used to) and bought a mandolin. I currently know 4 chords that I can blast back and forth between easily, can play major scales on each string, and I can almost play OCMS' Wagon Wheel. This 30 before 30 goal is well on its way to being crossed off!


Par for the course - at a minimum! I'd even venture to say I'm subpar and have managed a birdie and maybe an eagle. (Guys, I played golf for the first time a couple months ago, so I obvi get to use golf terms now, right?) I'm pretty pleased with how things have gone, are going, and will hopefully continue to go. The year is not without bumps, bruises, and hiccups along the way, but by and large, it's good. I'm good. I'm happy.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Straight Shot Metal Smashing: A Review

Sara surprised me with a cluster of items from Beka's Straight Shot Metal Smashing shop on Etsy as a thank you for being a sounding board for things with Gem since her accident and for sending along some SmartPaks to see if they would help Gem out.

I was so delighted when I opened the gift that I literally squealed aloud... and then, because I was simultaneously walking the dog and opening the package, I proceeded to drop items a few at a time all over the road. Because no coordination.

After picking mess up off the empty lonely unpopulated back road, I gave a lot closer inspection to the items.

Q's name was adorned to an approving owls bridle charm, Griffin's to a good juju charm, and Kenai had his own little dog tag. Additionally, a keychain (now on my car keys) with my personal life motto (and the title of this blog) In Omnia Paratus (ready for anything) was included along with a thin signature cuff bracelet.

*insert another squeal of delight here*

Each of the critters' charms has a unique Latin word adorned on it. This is to match the fact that I use Latin for the title of this blog. Fun fact, I also wear a ring on my right-hand ring finger that has in omnia paratus stamped on it. I have worn this ring for 4.5 years. Each of those three unique words is also on the cuff bracelet, separated by little orange horseshoes.

Q's assigned word was CREDERE, Kenai's was FIDUCIA, and Griffin's was SOGNARE.

While I am familiar with pieces of Latin, I don't know the language overly well; I knew none of these words from first glance other than a wild guess that "credere" was possibly a basis for the English word "credible/credibility" so perhaps it meant believable or truthful? ... I hurried to look up each of the words as soon as Kenai and I returned from our walk.

credere = believe

fiducia = trust

sognare = dream

Sara (and/or Beka(?)), those words are so perfect.

Just LOOK at it all! <3

Q and I have this back and forth relationship that really boils down to not believing in the other enough. She never believes in me enough to trust me when I say, "That _______ over there isn't a monster and it won't kill you," and I am likewise having a hard time believing her when she says, "It's going to eat me! Panic! I'm more confident now, I know I can do my job and get down this trail alive."

The whole surgery debacle with Kenai has taught me more ever to trust in his ability to heal and bounce back from all of this in good spirits. I worried for awhile (irrationally) that he wouldn't make it. Additionally, the blind trust he has had in me for 5 years now is so humbling. Such is the nature of a good dog. He is the greatest.

Griffin has allowed me to dream bigger and entertain so many exciting things from the very first day he entered my life. I had dreamed of learning to be better at groundwork with horses: he helped me fulfill it. I had dreamed of starting my own horse from nothing: he helped me fulfill it. I dreamed of doing endurance: he helped me foster (and continue to foster) that goal, even though Q has filled that role. I dreamed of cross country courses, big jumps, and (this was a big reach goal for me) dressage competitions: Griffin is demonstrating to me that those dreams are so very achievable.

credere, fiducia, sognare

Each of these charms will adorn the critters' headgear in the very near future. Kenai's will be going on his newest orange collar and Q's will go on her bridle (and is totally going to be worn for our endurance ride in 2 weeks!). Griffin currently shares Q's bridle, so his will also go on it for the time being. (Once I'm out of debt with the dog, Griffin will be getting his own.)

The keychain is already on my keys and the bracelet hasn't left my wrist since I put it on.

I am so very impressed with these pieces, Beka! They're well done and so unique.

Thank you, Sara, for gifting them. <3

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Griffin Loves Jumping

I've spammed media across instagram and some on my Facebook, so I reckon it's about time to spam ye olde blog with it as well.

June 24; pulled the ghetto cavaletti out for a short sunset session
June 25; another session with the ghetto cavaletti
June 29; lunging for awhile before we had a short film session under saddle

Ever watchful as I set up jumps for the day

June 29 under saddle video

July 6 video

We're practicing a few days a week now. Video is the only way I can look at myself and learn and modify. I'm 110% self taught at this jumping thing. I've never had a lesson - only really wonderful friends who have given me pointers along the way. I'm fortunate to have a talented little gelding who absolutely LOVES this jumping thing though!

Griffin and I work very well as a team. We're both able to be very forgiving of the others errors as we're learning each step of the way. I think I've *got it* and keep my shit together only to make another small error. He thinks he's *got it* and keeps his shit together only to make another small error. We're both like, "YES?! Oh. Well, hmm. AGAIN!"

The predominant theme throughout every session has been one of understanding and learning. Neither side of this partnership has gotten angry at the other for Not Being Able To Do. I accept that I'm new to this and he's new to this. I accept that I've got lots to learn to be able to be better for him. When he gets lazy and doesn't pick up his feet totally, I tell him, "Okay, that's on you, let's try it again and do a better job this time." But by and large, most of the time I'm telling him things like, "That was great! Now I have to get my shit together to be better for you." or "Okay. Great job. The error was totally my bad. I need to sit up and RIDE you through that instead of not supporting you at all. Thanks for keeping it together for me!" or "Dude, tell me to count your strides so we can be better at this. Don't worry, I'm going to try harder for you." Yep, it's definitely my job to be better at all of these things for him! And practice makes perfect.

We're definitely moving forward in a good direction. We continue to have great sessions, continually building a little bit on things from the previous ride. Lately, a session lasts about 45 minutes and flows in the following format:
  1. I start the sessions by lunging him to warm him up. 
  2. Then I move the jumps for the day and lunge him some more. 
  3. After that, I get on and we do some flat work in the field. Lots of bending lines and circles and serpentines and the like. I also focus on having him really use himself properly and moving forward into the contact. I do this to warm myself up and get his focus on me. 
  4. Finally, we will do jumping under saddle. We usually do 3 or 4 times through whatever we're going to do for the day without the camera to make sure all parties are focused before pausing to turn the video on. The video captures 85% of the jumping we do.
I'm sure I'll modify this little schedule as time passes. It suits us well at the present time.

Bottom line: Griffin adores this work. He's so game and eager every single time. I also love it and really enjoy having a horse who is so happy and tries so hard. I'll definitely be trying my hand at eventing next year - I owe it to Griffin to let him do the job he loves.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Black Sheep Boogie 50

This past weekend I met my friend Mary Howell in Ohio for the first annual Black Sheep Boogie 50. It was held at a horse park near Pedro, Ohio. I would be riding her mare Siena in our third competition together. I rode this mare on my (and her) first 50 two years ago in Ohio during much more miserable weather conditions (mid to upper 90s with HIGH humidity).

What 85% of the trails looked like!
The trails are predominantly wide, dirt/sand with moderate to easy climbs. We traversed about 2/3 of the available trails at this horse park for the ride and never had to repeat the same loop! There are still so many other trails available.

Unfortunately, the east has had a VERY rainy June so far. The area received nearly 2 inches of rain Friday morning before the ride. As if it wasn't enough, it stormed and rained all night prior to the ride and through the first half of ride day. While the rain was fantastic for keeping the temps low and the humidity to a bearable level, it was shit for trail conditions - especially on the section of trail used to enter and leave camp, a 1.5 mile climb of what was nearly 10" deep mud by the end of the day. YUCK!

Despite the wet conditions though, the bulk of the trail we traversed was in great condition. Mary and I had a phenomenal day with minor bobbles along the way.

Siena has matured SO much in two years. She's truly a dream to ride. Her worst trait is the little bit of sass she exhibits with her facial expressions. I'll take it! She's a mare who really knows and loves her job. She's so confident and happy to move out and lead down the trail. She was game and happy all day. I had a blast!

The ride was setup with a 13 mile loop, 24 mile loop, and a final 13 mile loop. Beyond that shared trail in and out of camp for all three loops, the mud wasn't too bad on trail. The 50s started at 6a and pulse criteria was 60 for the day - something that the head vet in that area loves apparently! Two holds would be 45 minutes each.

Mary and I rocketed through the first loop at fast 8.3 mph average pace. The horses vetted through with zero to minimal issue. I stuffed a sandwich down my throat, changed into dry clothes (I'd been smart to bring a change for every check in anticipation of a wet day!), and we were back out on our 2nd loop in no time.

We spent much more of our second loop in our own little bubble. For short period we rode with others, but mostly, we rode our own ride. Mary's two horses were game and forward and happy to be riding together. They do well changing leader to give one another breaks along the day when they need it most. Such a great team!

Throughout the second loop, Mary and I slowly passed those in front of us. By the end of the loop we riding with the two front runners, toggling back and forth between 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. That long loop definitely passed faster than I could have imagined! The trail was so fun!

We made it through the second hold with minimal to no issue, we headed out a little after noon for our third and final loop. Not interested in winning so much as getting the horses through it with completions and happy vets, we didn't worry much about catching up with or passing the two front runners. We were right behind them for nearly all of the final loop, in fact. Every time we got within 100-200 feet, we'd slow to a walk, let the horses graze, and generally poke along. As Mary put it, "I like being here. We have time to go slow without anyone rushing us along. If we passed them we'd feel rushed." It was a very nice place to be!

At the finish with Mary. Gryphon loves smiling for the camera.

Siena and Gryphon were both so happy and game through that final loop. It was the muddiest of the three, but the horses tackled it well. Mary and I finished in 3rd and 4th around 2:15p. A sub-7 hour 50 with PLENTY of horse left to have tackled more - though with all of that mud we definitely wouldn't have been up for it. Yuck!

It was a great ride and I had a blast (as usual) riding Mary's Siena and spending the day chatting it up with Mary as the miles flew by. 

: : : : :

I'd highly recommend the ride to anyone interested. The location is great (there are SHOWERS!), the trails are moderate-easy once your up the initial hill out of camp, and the volunteers are kind. If you boot your horse and the weather has been as it was prior to my experience, you may not have as great a time as wet + mud + hills/speed make for boots flying everywhere. Also, if you have a critterbeast that doesn't pulse down to 60 quickly and easily, you may want to avoid this ride. (Especially if the weather is hotter and more humid than it was on this day...which is very possible in June.)

I came out of this ride the least sore I've ever been coming out of a 50. Rider fitness is real, y'all, and all that mountain biking and hiking I've been doing coupled with bareback dressage workouts on Griffin for my abs made a huge difference! I've got a bit of tightness in my left calf, but that. is. it.

Finally, I'm pretty thrilled with my lack of saddle bags or anything on this ride. I rode with my small camelback all day and it was all I needed. It has a small pouch for a few this and thats, but I didn't even need that space. I enjoyed having less on the saddle as we trucked along. When I compete my own barefoot beasties I'll probably attach a boot bag with a couple spares, but I think my days of carrying much more are over. It's nice to not be so burdened down!

My next ride (and probably only ride for the rest of this ride season) will be August first at Ride Between the Rivers. Hope to see several of you there!

Friday, June 26, 2015

A New Hobby

As ski season came to a close this year, I swore to myself (as I do every year) that I would keep in shape through the summer so that my ski legs didn't wither away to nothing. See, I come out of ski season with some pretty baller legs every year. But then summer arrives and I just don't keep things up as I should.

This year I swore (again) to myself that things would be different!


I've tried time and time again to get into running, but ultimately I break down and can't do it any more. Typically, my weak ankles (injury from my competitive swimming career) are the culprit. If I don't break down, I simply slack off and quit simply because I do not enjoy running much.

However, with great influence from reading about fellow bloggers' running pursuits, I was more motivated than ever to get out and give it a go. Reading others detailed accounts of their fitness pursuit, I decided to give it a go..again. I decided I would take it slow this time and only run a few miles at a time and build up slowly. You know, like training an endurance horse.

I was doing great. I logged 21.7 miles in March. Most of my runs in the 1.5 to 3 mile mark. I never felt sore. My cardio improved. My mentality improved. One morning I completed a nearly 5 mile run before 6am and even that run didn't bother me much - just mild soreness. Hurrah!

Encouraged by the 5 miler success, at the very the end of the month I ran 10 kilometers. That is more than I have ever run in one sitting before. I didn't even stop and walk during it! I felt GREAT nearly the entire run. I had some issues with my mental game a little bit, but beyond that, I felt awesome. I was so thrilled. I thought I'd finally figured it out. I decided I would try to do two "long" runs like the 5 and 6 miler every month and keep the rest of my running pretty short.

Except I came up lame a day or two after the 6 mile run. My right foot more than my left, but both were unhappy unless I was in a shoe with a stiff, inflexible sole. Diagnosis? I'd bruised my metatarsals. It seemed to be a common enough injury due to inadequate footwear / doing too much too soon. My shoes are not new. Very, very far from it. But, with Kenai's surgery (pre-saga) looming in the near future, I couldn't exactly afford new shoes yet. And besides, I felt I needed to justify to myself that I was going to stick with this running thing for real before I dropped lots of $$$ on shoes.

I took two weeks off from running, my feet felt better, and then I gave it a go again. I ran a mile with minimal pain, then called it quits to be conservative. By that afternoon, I was regretting running at all. The pain was back. Fortunately though, it went away a lot faster (24 hours). I took another two weeks off all the same and then tried running on soft ground (a hay field) a couple times. I had no more pain.

I found myself very discouraged despite this. Once again I'd tried running and been thwarted. I just didn't really care to keep trying at something that had a history of breaking me. Why try so hard to enjoy something I simply didn't gain a lot of pleasure from? It wasn't worth it.

Mountain biking

Still determined to keep my legs in shape and pursue cardio, I pulled my hardly-used mountain bike out and sent it to the shop for a tune up.

As you know, I spend my weekends in Canaan Valley in Tucker County, West Virginia. This area is chock full of some of the best (and gnarliest) mountain biking trails in the country. Many of my fellow patrollers bike during the warmer months, so there was a positive influence around me to get involved in a sport I'd never truly tried.

I was totally and completely blown away by how much I LOVED it after only one outing. The trail obstacles on that first ride were a bit terrifying (narrow boardwalks, rock gardens, etc.), but I loved every minute of it despite that. I fell off my bike two or three times (once I swear it bucked me off like a horse!), but I still had a blast. And admittedly, I loved finishing the ride covered in mud and sweat. (Worth noting: my first official outing was during a thunderstorm. Rain be damned, I wanted to give it a go.)

The technical trail consumed every iota of my focus. Gone were any worries I may have had about the world and the rest of my life. All that existed while I was spinning my legs was that moment, the trail, my bike, and me.

I've logged nearly 60 miles on the trail since May. My bike handling skills increase with every ride, as does my fitness and my comfort level on different terrain. I am having so. much. fun.

Last Friday (thanks to my dad who found the clinic and paid my entry fee), I took part in a women's mountain bike clinic where I received one on one instruction to help me fine tune my bike handling skills. I learned new skills, as well, and all in all had an absolute BLAST. I even climbed >1,200' on my bike traveling >12 miles that day!

The video above is a series of four "pumps" set up on an incline. It is much steeper than it appears. I'd never done anything like that prior to the clinic. Additionally, the photo above the video is the group of ladies I rode with in the afternoon. My mother is in the bright blue; she kicked ass all day doing something she hadn't done before (she is an avid biker racking in 50+ miles a week, but not on trails).

I'm in better shape right now than I have been in a very, very long time. While often bruised, my legs are definitely in outstanding shape. My horseback riding has improved as a result, too. It's awesome. I love having yet another passion to round out my fitness pursuits.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

So Far

Monday night I met the only other local endurance rider in my area to ride along the north rim of the Blackwater Canyon.

It was the hottest day of the week and I knew it would be much cooler at that higher elevation. Bonus? Jen had never been there and was interested to see it.

I met Jen in the town at the base of the mountain at 5:45p. She followed me to the top where we turned onto the Forest Service (FS) road to access yet another FS road where we would be riding. We parked our rigs, unloaded and tacked up the horses, and were headed off by 6:20 or so.

The "trail" is essentially a FS road. It is maintained for the first not-quite mile - graded and graveled every year or so as necessary. After that though? The road is merely graded occasionally so that it is passable for 4WD vehicles that have clearance (or for ATVs, dirtbikes, etc.). The area sees minimal traffic, has minimal elevation gain (~860' for the 14 mile round trip), and has great footing that is passable on a barefoot horse. Additionally, it is beautiful up there - especially right now with the mountain laurel in full bloom.

Jen and I had a very uneventful and pleasant ride. It was an absolutely beautiful evening - especially at the higher elevation. I very much enjoyed catching up with her and hearing about her recent adventure in the OD 100 where she won this year's OD Trophy and high vet score. She's a wealth of great stories and valuable information for any endurance rider.

But this post isn't to chronicle the beautiful evening or the great company. This post is to note how far my little mare has come with her confidence and comfort in all things lately.

When I got to the barn to pick Q up for the evening, I hooked up the trailer and loaded tack and other accoutrements before grabbing her from the field. When I did grab her from the field, I led her straight to the open trailer where she self loaded on the very first try with nearly zero hesitation in her step. (!!!) I was able to load her, close the trailer door, and head out of the driveway in about 30 seconds. This is absolutely outstanding if you recall how Q used to be when it came to trailering.

This wasn't her first evening self loading for me with zero help from another human (it was the second), but it was the first time she'd done it on the first try with zero issues (she'd done it on Saturday morning twice but both attempts came after she got halfway on/off 4 times). She insists on turning around once she gets on so she can watch the door close, but I don't mind this. She no longer seeks to come blasting off the trailer when she performs this turn; she just wants to see the door close. Yes, she rides backwards, but she is calm and happy - this is what counts.

The FS road we rode on Monday night is wide open in comparison to most wooded trail areas (as you could imagine). This type of trail has always been Q's kryptonite. She frets much more about potential monsters on more open trails which results in much more spooking. No fun to ride. No fun at all. Whenever I can, I try to have someone else lead if the trail is like this. It's a much smoother ride for me and less mental anxiety for Q.

Jen made no move to lead on Monday evening though, so I just decided to see how things went. I had my dressage whip to tap-tap-tap Q's shoulder to help refocus her and I'd worn full seat sticky breeches to better hold onto her in the event of the evil spooking she used to do and is more apt to perform on such a trail environment.

Q was slower than usual, very hesitant with her forward momentum as she struck out down the trail analyzing every tiny thing around her in her way. She minced her steps around every puddle (not her norm) and gave slight wide berths to possible dangers (ferns, rocks, etc.), but she didn't spook. (!!!)

She led for about 12 of our 14 miles that evening. She did have one biggish spook, but with the sticky breeches it really wasn't horrible. When we were about 2 miles from the trailer she did put her "stupid-thinking hat" on instead of her "smart-thinking hat" and got quite elevated in her trot and gave over-excessive wide berths and stink-eye looks to basically every fern and rock we passed, but still no big spooking. (!!!)

I talked her through everything all night, stayed calm the entire time, tap-tap-tapped her often, and squeezed her forward frequently. I think the nagging deer flies (which I whisked away as best I could) and the footing (just on the edge of her barefoot abilities; tricky enough to merit more of her attention than usual) helped keep her a bit more focused on the trail.

Regardless, I was very proud of the little horse. Even Jen remarked how different Q seemed. She said she could tell that she really seemed to be enjoying her job a lot more. I'd told Q at Fort Valley last October that if she really hated endurance that I wouldn't make her do it any more. I told her I'd give her a long vacation first and then bring her back around to it differently after winter; if she hated it still after all of that, we'd quit. I don't think we have to any more!

Post-ride, I untacked Q, gave her a bit of grain, and then loaded her up to go. She self-loaded again on the very first try. (!!!) There was absolutely no hesitation this time around. Additionally, I didn't even have the dressage whip in hand. (I don't typically have to use the dressage whip, but she definitely has a mental association with it that makes her put forth a bit more "try" than she otherwise would.)

The difference in this mare is night and day from the present and a year ago. We're working to improve every day, but wow, we've come so far. I couldn't be more thrilled.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

Riding lately

Riding lately has been great on both horses.

As evident on this blog, I've dabbled in many things with both horses depending on my mood and upcoming events. I feel that versatility is a valuable skill that lends itself to helping develop multiple muscle groups while helping to keep the horse healthy mentally through different routines.

Lately though? Lately I've split up my interests between the two horses.


As my main competition horse for endurance, that's all we've been focusing on recently: time and skills on the trail.

The emphasis for all of our work is ultimately to Gain Confidence, and I can honestly say that she is leaps and bounds ahead of where she used to be with her confidence! It's a wonderful thing.

This boost in confidence stems from a few key things:
  • My attitude: My attitude, demeanor, and general mindset is much improved these past many months. In very short: I'm more zen. Q likes zen. This sensitive little mare needs exactly the kind of behavior I've been putting forth. As a result, she's trusting me more than ever and coming out of her shell more every day. It's terrific to see.
  • Rest vs. work time: I am riding Q about one day a week right now. The rides are longer and
    fairly intense compared to what we used to do. She seems to thrive on having so much time off both physically and mentally. When we do work, she's ON IT and happy about it. There is a marked difference in her strength each time we ride. Her BCS is a bit higher than it usually is, and this really seems to suit her!
  • Type of work: Taking out the jumping and flat work suits this horse for the time being. I know we will pursue flat work again, but for the current time, trails are what are working for her. As I've spent more time working with Griffin over jumps, I realize how stressed it made Q. Her growing confidence may alter her opinion on jumping one day, but for now, it isn't in the cards.

Q's average ride of late is right around 10 miles. In June so far - between two rides - we have covered 21.8 miles. Both of those rides had an emphasis on trying to up our average speed and really work climbing. The 12+ mile ride took 1:52 and involved >2300' of climbing with an average speed of 6.73 mph. The 9+ mile ride took us 1:10 to complete at an average pace of 7.8 mph. She had 5 days of rest between these two rides and will have as long of a break or longer before the next ride.

Spooking? On the 12+ mile ride, she was great until we were within 2 miles from home and then she just got stupid. Words were spoken. Training occurred. The drama would have been less if I'd had reins that didn't slip so easily when wet. (Being close to home on that particular trail 110% plays into her stupidity. Training will continue to occur to work through the issue.)

I fixed the reins issue for the 9+ mile ride to eliminate it as a point of contention. I also removed the padded noseband cover for her S-hack to have a little bit more pressure when I needed it (when she acts a fool she tries hard to run through the hack; she can be stopped, but I don't like using that kind of force). She Did Not Spook for this ride. The biggest reason for her not spooking beyond me setting her up for success on trails I knew she was more confident on: moving out at a faster clip. Pushing her harder, making her really move on trail kept her brain off potential monsters. Working was the only thing that could consume her mind at the time.

No, I won't always work her hard like that. But I do believe that riding in this manner for a short time is going to be beneficial in that it will help her gain further confidence. A few rides in a row with no spooking can only help boost her mentality about things. I know spooking WILL happen again, but I'd like to create as much success as I can for Q right now so that the future spooking is hopefully less intense than what it used to be the majority of the time.

I'm really happy with how Q has been lately and I think she agrees. It's wonderful to get out on trail with a happy horse who is eager to move down the trail without fear over every tiny thing.


With my love of trails and endurance taken over by Q, that leaves my interest in dressage and jumping to Griffin. Both of these disciplines are ones I'm not as confident in, but I'm ever-learning.

It's fitting that I'm pursuing more of these disciplines with Griffin - much of what I have learned about training has happened with this horse. If you'll recall way back to the beginning of my time with him 3 years ago, I didn't know much about groundwork. I've learned everything I know thanks to Griffin.

Griffin is a forgiving teacher-student. As I learn things and strive to teach him, he's forgiving of my beginners errors. We work together to figure it all out. His straight forwardness aids greatly in my work with Q. By figuring out how it *can* and *should* be with him, I'm able to troubleshoot with Q, my sensitive little girl.

My goal each week right now, is to ride Griffin 4 days a week for 20-45 minutes. Ultimately we end up riding 2 or 3 days, but shooting for 4 is a good goal. (Also good? Me not beating myself up for *not* reaching the goal. I've been quite successful in that goal I mentioned at the beginning of the year: fly the "fuck it" flag more often.) All of these rides are flatwork with no jumps.

Griffin LOVES working more. LOVES IT. I've never spent so much time with a horse who wanted to please so badly. It is his only goal in life.

He still throws tantrums sometimes, but these days those tantrums are because he is smart and he thinks he knows the answer. He anticipates what the answer is and should be, tries to answer, and then if I was looking for a different answer from his, he gets upset. I've been praising him a lot for all of his efforts lately, so these tantrums have been cut off before they ever escalate. It's a nice change!

Except one ride, all of our current rides have been done with the bareback pad. I want more of a workout for myself and I want a closer connection with Griffin as we work through things.

We're working our way up from the bottom of the dressage pyramid. Our rides are predominantly walk, but trot work is thrown in more and more as time passes. Griffin seems please with this. His typical answer of, "CANTER! CANTER IS ALWAYS THE CORRECT ANSWER!" isn't in the forefront of his mind any more. He is happy with walk exercises and trot exercises. In fact, he's not tried to randomly canter more than 2x in each of our last rides - a huge difference!

We're just at the beginning of this journey, stumbling along together, but we're having fun! If Saiph gets her way, we'll be pursuing horse trials next year... I've got a lot to learn before then though!

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Kenai: The Surgery Saga

I last wrote about Kenai in April. Since that time, at least on the blog, there has been quite the radio silence about him.

In this case, no news was NOT good news. Not in the slightest.


On April 15, 2015, Kenai underwent tibial tuberosity advancement (TTA) surgery and meniscus repair (removal) on his right stifle at Virginia Tech VA-MD Teaching Hospital. This surgery was necessary because of the pain caused by the torn meniscus and the failure of the lateral suture from the bilateral stifle surgery he'd received in 2013. This second surgery came after nearly 5 months of conservative care (crate rest and no exercise) to try to remedy the issue.

So, for Kenai's right stifle, this April surgery marked it's second surgery in less than two years. Kenai was 3 years old for his first surgery and five years old for his second. He is very young to be having such complications! He is at a good weight (noted by multiple vets), on a good diet (approved by multiple vets), and has a healthy, active lifestyle (as noted by multiple vets).

The second surgery in April went well. The only complications noted were hemorrhaging around the knee during surgery, slower than normal clotting time, and observation that the bone around the surgery site seemed abnormally soft. Tests were run and cultures were grown to try and answer these abnormalities. All tests and bloodwork returned normal though (they also ran a blood panel pre-surgery that was normal), and the cultures came back negative*.

*The first two cultures were negative, but the later they grew, one became positive from the old appliance in the leg - removed during the newer surgery for placement of new appliance. Vet reported that I shouldn't be concerned about this and it likely did not affect anything.

I brought Kenai home two days post-op and began the crate rest and rehab schedule as outlined by the VATech folks. All was well.

Until it wasn't...

A Third Surgery

On April 24 Kenai experienced an appliance failure; a failure of the TTA surgery.

To the best of my reckoning, it occurred during one of our rehab walks. He had been very "up", as a horse on stall rest may be, resembling a kite on a string. I had the leash as short as it could be and he was RIGHT beside me. My hand held the leash mere inches above his collar. Despite this, he jumped a small bit in such a manner to swing his rear end away from me in one fluid motion. It didn't seem like much at the time, but I suspect this must have been the motion that caused it as there simply was NOT anything else that had occurred where he may have overly stressed the leg.

On Saturday morning, April 25, Kenai was 3-legged lame again. He refused to use the leg. He seemed happy otherwise.

Monday, we headed to my local vet to see what was amiss as Kenai had not improved at all. X-rays were taken. The appliance looked good on initial viewing, though the vet (the newest to the staff) noted that the tibial crest did look a bit abnormal, but she would have to double-check with the head vet as she was not as familiar with TTA's. The x-rays were sent to the vet who did the surgery at VA Tech, as well. The recommendation from my local folks was to keep him on strict crate rest without the rehab schedule for a week and restart the NSAIDs which had ended over the weekend.

Three days later, April 30, the vet who performed the surgery called me with bad news. She'd reviewed the x-rays and it appeared that Kenai had experienced a failure. The tibial crest was fractured. She warned that more surgery may be necessary if the bone continued to move. She advised that I keep Kenai on strict crate rest and keep him as quiet as possible for a week. If the bone didn't move, then more surgery could be avoided. I would need to get follow up x-rays the next week to see where the bone was.

I unfortunately received this call when Kenai and I were 3 hours from home en route to crew for a rider at the FEI trials at the Biltmore. I had his crate and had been as cautious as possible with his every movement, but still, the situation wasn't ideal. Kenai was walked exclusively with the sling through the weekend, was kept in a small crated area in the back of Mary's trailer away from the hubbub, and was only out of his crate to go potty over the weekend. Other than some whining, he was remarkably calm and quiet all weekend. He was a great patient. I got him home as fast as possible as soon as my crewing duties were over and all seemed well.

At the x-ray on Tuesday, May 5, I was on pins and needles. The news that the surgery had failed was hard enough to stomach. The waiting time for the x-rays to develop to find out whether or not another (what would be Kenai's third surgery on this stifle) was needed was nearly impossible to bear. To the outsider, I'm sure I seemed calm, but internally I was a mess.

When the vet came back with the x-rays and put them up next to the ones from the previous week, the verdict was clear even to my untrained eye. The bone had moved. A lot. The implant was pulling out of his bone. The line of screws placed for the appliance was slowly fracturing the bone and shearing it away from where it should be.

April 27: Note the shard of bone pointing downward
that is in from of the left most side of the plate;
Note the location of all the screws and their

May 5: Note the progression/separation of the shard of bone
It is much more obvious now than on April 27;
Note the position of the top two screws; their angles
are vastly different from the April 27 image

My heart and stomach were in my throat as I choked out the words, "Fuck." Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to find the words to form a coherent sentence. The vet looked at me with more empathy than I could have ever imagined. Her look said it all. "Do you want a hug?" she asked, "You look like you really need a hug." Silent tears fell down my face as she gave me a big embrace.

I wiped my eyes afterwards, my voice a little more sure of itself. "Will you send them to Tech?" She nodded confirmation. More trivial talk occurred, but I don't remember it. I do remember asking them if they could just bill me later, I wanted to get Kenai - who was stressed for the first time about being at the vet - out of there. They agreed, expressed their sympathies again, and I headed out the door.

Anecdote: I'd planned to run errands with my afternoon no matter the news. For those who curse the process of getting a new cell phone and upping your contract and all the time it takes, I say this to you: Go in right after you receive horrible news. When the sales clerk asks the question they [should] always ask as you enter, "Hello! How are you?" and you start silently crying in front of them, I guarantee they will get the process over with as quick as possible! I upped my contract and got a new phone and was out of the store in under 15 minutes.

Wednesday morning (May 6), as I was about to head into the field for work, I received a call from VATech. The doctor who had done the original surgery had reviewed the x-rays and wanted me to come down that day or the next day for more surgery. By the time I received this call, I'd had time to pull myself together. I played hardball and asked concise questions demanding some answers on the spot. I inquired about possible options and I noted that I simply did NOT have the money to drop on another $3k+ surgery. The vet told me they might be able to absolve some of the cost, she would check and get back to me.

Surprisingly, she got back to me in < 30 minutes. She'd spoken to the head of the program, the assistant chief of staff, and he said they had some teaching money available. They could absolve me of all of the cost of the third surgery except for $400-500. That would be cheaper than the cheapest surgical option - amputation. And thus, an appointment was made for 1p the following day with plans for Kenai to go into surgery the morning of May 8.

Unlike the first time I drove down to VATech for the surgery and sat around teleworking and fretting about how Kenai was, I decided I would do things differently this time for my own sanity. I planned to drop Kenai off and then head to the New River Gorge (NRG) to climb for the weekend. The NRG isn't very far from Blacksburg and it would make more sense to go there and busy myself with activity and good company than to sit anxiously in Blacksburg or drive home.

When I dropped Kenai off, the original doctor he had and the assistant chief received me. They took Kenai back and then the asst. chief came back out to talk to me. He explained that he has seen failures of TTA before. They're not common, but when you do enough of them (as this hospital does) you do eventually see failures. He explained and drew out for me what they would do to fix it**. He explained that as with any procedure, there is possibility for things to go wrong. Medicine isn't always an exact or precise science, a fact I'm well aware of coming from a family with many medical professionals. He said it was unfortunate that the failure had occurred, but confirmed that he's never had the repair surgery he was going to perform on Kenai fail. He also noted that if I didn't have bad luck I wouldn't have any luck.

**If anyone would like more details on this, I'm happy to tell you individually. I'm not going to get to technical within the telling of the story.

I shared that I would be at the NRG until Kenai was ready to go. He gave me the option of Saturday or Sunday for pickup and I told him Sunday, remembering how long Kenai had been in the hospital for observation after his first stint down there. I wanted him to receive the best care possible for as long as possible and thought this was prudent. The asst. chief told me I could pick him up between 8a and 9a on Sunday morning and then sent me on my way, not making me wait for them to do follow-up x-rays and exams to 110% confirm that the surgery was needed as they usually do. He knew my time was valuable and with a word of caution about the speed traps on the way to the NRG, he sent me on my way.

I spent my Thursday evening catching up with old friends. On Friday, I climbed at a new-to-me location and had a blast with friends new and old. I was relaxed and content knowing Kenai was in great care. The hospital called me with updates morning and night and immediately post-op. All was well, all went well. The only surgery complication this time was that Kenai was mildly hypothermic coming out of surgery so they put a Bair Hugger on him in ICU. Not a very great complication at all, IMHO.

Saturday was another outstanding day of climbing followed by beers at the lake. It was HOT. But the climbing was great, the company was better, and the combination of beer and that cool late at the end of the day was fabulous. I was as happy as I could possibly be all things considered!

But then (you knew there was a "but then.." coming), I received the evening call from the hospital.

A Fourth Surgery

Instead of a 4th year student on the line to talk to me (as per the norm) it was the doctor who had performed the original TTA surgery.

"Hello. This is Dr. _______ calling to update you on Kenai."
Great! How is he?
"Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news..."
*my stomach drops to China, I feel the blood leave my face, and I gesture for my climbing partner who is driving to pull off the highway NOW*
"...Kenai experienced a failure of the surgery today."

Immediate tears. Immediate feeling of being lost. Immediate feeling of no hope. Despair.

The vet noted that the asst. chief had never experienced/seen a failure of this surgery during his career. She noted that another surgery would be best to fix things. I asked about amputation. She didn't like that idea but said yes it could be done. I was a notch under hysterical (for me) about this time. I asked what would she do if it were her husky (knowing she had one). She said she'd do another surgery. I asked if I really had any choice. And she said something along the lines of no. I conceded to another surgery and ended the call. (For the record: she was as empathetic and sympathetic sounding as possible for a phone call.)

I sat in the car on the side of the road climbing while my climbing partner did his best to console me. He was outraged at it all. Less emotionally involved than I, he had his wits about him more and spouted off a few logical arguments in his anger. I calmed a bit as I listened and decided I would take his recommendation and call back with more questions about what the hell had happened and why and what could be done.

I called back and was patched through to the vet I'd just been on the phone with. The tears were gone and anger was present now. I pounded her with queries and demanded answers. I wasn't nice. I reigned myself in though and apologized before it got too bad and asked if I could talk to the asst. chief who had done the surgery (and would do the following). I told her I was sorry, I knew it wasn't on her, I didn't mean to spout off to her, but it was all very ridiculous that he'd had a failure IN THE HOSPITAL, and I needed more information and answers.

She was very understanding and got me through to the other doctor quickly.

I continued my angry tirade of questions that demanded answers with him. That didn't last long at all. He pushed right back and put me in my place FAST. I'd compare it to training a horse and teaching them to NOT do something - they make an error,  you put them in their place, and if you do it well enough and they're in the mind to learn/listen, they stay where they are and don't repeat the error. That vet put me in my place and I stayed there resolutely.

I was meek thereafter in our conversation. I got my answers and it seemed that a fourth surgery (third with VATech) was still the path to take. They'd be doing the same kind of thing they had done for the third surgery, but with slightly larger implants. The doc said he would call the team that night and see about getting them in the following (Sunday) morning. He then thanked me for being calm and shared that I actually handled it a lot better than most and did a much better job than he would have done himself in the same situation.

I cried awhile longer, unable to do much else. When we arrived back at the campsite to meet another friend to then go to dinner, I'd managed to stop crying. All of my actions and movements were one of an automaton. I felt empty and hopeless. I went through the motions of normalcy out of duty only.

I called my mom then and spoke to her for a time. As I talked, I wandered aimlessly away from the campsite and into the woods up the first path that presented itself. I paced for a time on the trail as I talked, and finally turned to see my climbing partner, worry and concern written across his face coming up the trail behind me. It's good he showed up, I'd likely have kept wandering mindlessly otherwise in my state of mind. He led me back to camp.

Right before we were getting into the car to head to dinner (which I insisted I must do; being around people would be good to get my mind off things), Saiph called me back. I'd tried to get up with her before my mom. I talked to her for a time and finally managed to calm down significantly. It was good to hear her take on all things considering her expertise in the field of vet med. She's also one of my absolute best friends and therefore has a knack for understanding me and helping me through hard times.

At dinner, I ended up sitting beside a vet from WA. Go freaking figure. The climbing world is bizarre like that. Prior to finding out he was a vet, he asked me right as I sat down, "Sorry to hear about your dog. What's wrong exactly?" To which I gave him the biggest are-you-fucking-serious-right-now face. He then volleyed with, "Oh! I'm a vet by the way." My expression softened and I asked if he really wanted to know because it was kind of lengthy. He did. And thus I talked to him most of the evening. I didn't even order food or drink, my climbing partner - knowing me well - took care of all of that for me. <3

Right before the pizza arrived, I received another call from VATech which I stepped outside to take.

It was the asst. chief calling to let me know that the anesthesia team didn't consider the surgery life threatening enough to perform on a Sunday so they'd have to do it first thing Monday morning. I could understand that and told him as much, thanking him for being willing to do it on a Sunday nonetheless. I asked him a few more questions about what we could do to keep Kenai calm and maximize the likelihood of success querying about casting, splinting, sedation, etc. He noted that splinting the knee is difficult because you must stabilize the joints above and below - difficult when the above joint is the hip. I understood this as we employ the same type of methodology to care for patients with ski patrol. He said that they would send me home with sedatives to give him. (My home vet had already been texting me and said we'd do whatever we had to keep him calm with regards to sedatives, so it was good to hear the VATech vet confirm that sedatives were a good idea for a time.)

He also said they'd want me to pick him up the afternoon following surgery. Basically when the anesthesia had worn off completely I would come get him and take him home. Hopefully he would be calmer in my care than he'd been at the hospital. (Previously Kenai had not suffered great anxiety at the vet. But that was at home where he knew the vet and the techs because they're friends of mine with whom I interact with outside of our professional lives. With all that happened in the past month though, Kenai was distrusting vets more and more and had become quite stressed when at the vet's office.) I agree to this and said I would also make sure someone else could drive me down so that I could sit in the back with Kenai for the 4 hour drive home to help keep him calm. The asst. chief agreed this would be good, thanked me again for being so understanding and applauded my understanding of science/medicine and noted that it really helped to be able to talk things through with someone who had a grasp on what was going on.

I returned to dinner and made it through the rest of my evening without issue, though I still felt quite empty and hopeless.

Sunday morning I struck out for home. I was exceptionally sore from the previous two days of climbing. I cannot express how strange it was to come home without Kenai. To then spend the night in my own home without him was even stranger. I've been away from him certainly, but not at my own place of residence.

May 11, 2010
The following day, May 11, mom and I would travel to Blacksburg to pick Kenai up. The huge irony to this? This day was my 5 year anniversary having Kenai in my life; 5 years ago on this day mom and I traversed some of the very same roads to pick Kenai up from Lynchburg, VA.

My mom met me midday to drive to Blacksburg to bring Kenai home. We received a call from the hospital that the follow up surgery had gone well with no complication around 12:30p. We left right after that call and headed south, arriving at the hospital right around 5p after one stop to eat dinner.

We didn't have long to wait once we'd arrived. They brought Kenai right out.

I'm not going to lie. He looked rough. He was visibly happy to see me, but he wasn't all there. He had a lot of drugs in his system and was very likely in a fair bit of pain. I told him I was so so sorry, but we were going home now. I hadn't left him there for scientific testing like I'm sure he was convinced of by that time!

They briefed us on everything we'd need to do in the coming weeks, gave me his meds, and swept us out the door.

May 11, 2015; the blue is his wrapped up leg
Kenai was physically calm for the whole drive home. He sat up, but it was rare. He lay down nearly the whole time. I think if I hadn't been there to sit with him he'd have stood a lot, but fortunately, I was able to discourage that behavior. He was definitely having a BAD trip though, howling and whining intermittently in the oddest of ways (for him). The only thing that kept him quiet the last hour and a half of our journey was having his window down all the way so that, when lying, he could have his head out the window - even in the rain. He'd bring his head inside the car a for short bursts, scream a bit, then fling his nose back into the wind and be quiet. It seemed the wind in his face and the smells that forced their way into his nose were the only thing keeping him sane.

He peed a little when we got home before going into his crate for the night.

That first night SUCKED. So hard. I'd given him his first round of meds that evening to really try to dull the pain and help him rest. I don't know how much it helped. He stared off into the abyss and just whined and cried for most of the night. I might have gotten 3 hours of sleep, but it was likely closer to 2.

I darted into the office briefly Monday morning to grab things I needed to work from home, updating my coworkers VERY briefly on everything. I have the greatest supervisors ever who all but demanded I work from home for a few days to "keep an eye on the boy". Everyone in my office has a dog. Everyone understands how much Kenai means to me. I really couldn't ask for a better situation.

Back at home, I set myself up at my kitchen table and put Kenai in the crate in the front room to keep an eye on him and ensure that he knew I was still there and hadn't left him again. I worked and observed him as I went along. He was restless, to say the least. He couldn't get comfortable and was up and down and up and down every few minutes. I finally, conceded to put him in his crate in the bedroom because I thought he might like it more and then snuck in to peep at him every 15 minutes.

The first couple observations, Kenai was stress panting and staring glassy-eyed into the abyss. Around 10:15a though, there was a sharp change - he was finally sleeping for what was likely the first time since arriving home. I celebrated and sent a text to Karen and Saiph to update them. Saiph noted that it had been 24 hours since he had gone into surgery, so it was most probable that the drugs administered during surgery had finally worn off and he was now just on the medications I was administering. She shared they they can have a really bad trip from the combination of drugs. I believe it!

Kenai proceeded through the first week of rehab without any bobbles. Steady, marked improvement was evident each day. I walked him with the sling every day during this time.

Into the second week, I weaned him off walking with the sling little by little. He was probably ready sooner, but considering all that has happened, I wasn't taking chances! He continued along the path of steady, marked improvement with each passing day through week two and into and then through week three.

The Present

Kenai has been weaned from spending absolutely all of his time in a crate. He's still in there the vast majority of the time, but when I'm home for lunch and home in the evenings, I let him be near me off leash. I will often shorten the length of one of his rehab walks to allow for the little bit of walking around I'm beginning to allow him to do inside. This way, he isn't receiving an excess amount of exercise.

Not pictured: the chair to the right that I was
sitting in.
I feel comfortable doing this because I know very well how this dog's behaves at home. He doesn't run amok. He wants to be where I am and lie nearby. He may chew on a bone if it is available, otherwise he dozes on and off and just watches what I'm doing. He's calmer being able to be near me than he would be in his crate in another room. As he's built strength and is more likely to do something stupid in his crate protesting about being away from me, I've been more apt to let him be near me off leash.

I haven't been disappointed. Kenai seems to know what is expected of him. Even though the living room crate isn't up any more, he goes to that spot and lies down as soon as we come back in from our walks (slow timed walks for rehab that have steadily increased in their length since surgery) and lies down and stays there. In the past couple days, he has begun lying in slightly different areas, but he still comes in and settles quietly somewhere immediately and then doesn't move.

My local vet has seen him once so far and was very pleased. She said she can tell without x-rays that there is a lot of bone regeneration going on in that area. (Follow up radiographs will be taken a few more weeks from now.)

Unlike the first time we were down there for the TTA, I've only heard from the hospital one time (2 weeks post op) since our departure. After the level of communication from our first visit, I find this a little odd, but I'm over it.

I have been in contact with the closest professional canine rehabilitation specialist about physical therapy for Kenai. We are currently in the process of figuring out when will be best to begin the rehab. I anticipate a minimum of three sessions (so few due strictly to financial confinements) with a lot of homework in between.


It's been an absolutely nightmare getting to this point. Everyone who hears the story - vets especially - are shocked at how crazy this saga is and has been. Speculation on what may have caused it and what could have/should have been done differently have been discussed at length. (Weakened bone due to first lateral suture surgery; TPLO would have been better than TTA; TPLO should have been done instead of TTA due to history with lateral suture impacting the area already; should have kept him even more quiet than I did (nigh impossible); should have gone to a different vet; should have splinted/casted; should have had lesser intensity rehab for longer; etc.)

What is currently holding Kenai's leg together.

Yes, I've also spoken to Kenai's breeder about all of this. He is unaware of any other dog he's bred having issues like this - certainly someone may have and didn't contact him, he noted that, but to his knowledge there have been no issues. Kenai's father was castrated after Kenai's litter because the dogs didn't have the right "look" for showing. Kenai's mother has also since been spayed (reason not explicitly provided, but I have no reason to think it is for anything out of the ordinary). Kenai's breeder has always come across as very responsible to me. He replied to my email asking about potential issues with his dogs/litters within 3 hours of my sending it. He remembered who I was despite me not communicating with him in 3 years! He also gave a generous donation to Kenai's GoFundMe page which was very touching. I am incredibly grateful for this. I would (and likely will) absolutely get another husky from him.

Additionally, I've spoken to no fewer than 8 vets in some manner through the occurrence of all of these events. They're shocked and saddened by all that has happened. They acknowledge that've had a really tough go of it and it isn't a common thing. My local vet especially has been really outstanding through all of this. She knows it has been rough and crazy. She's been wonderful and involved for all of it and I really can't thank her enough.

Ultimately, it really seems to just boil down to really shitty luck. In the bell curve of the likelihood of happenings, I finally fell in that lower probability area. Shit just happens.

But I'm doing what I can to not dwell on it all - hence the radio silence on all things Kenai on social media. I don't want to speculate or dwell on what has happened. I have been and will continue to focus on the present, on what the facts are, what my observations on recovery have been, and do my best to keep the good going into our future.

I've got my dog still. I refuse to think on the future or speculate what may be or will be. We're taking things day by day, a walk at a time. My dog is happy. I am happy. That's all that really matters. <3

18 Days post-op
19 Days post-op

Thursday, May 28, 2015


Life lately is busy and beautiful. I'm constantly on the run and more in love with West Virginia than I have ever been.

I've been running away to Canaan Valley nearly every weekend since January. First it was ski patrol that kept me there; I had an obligation. But now? Now I flee there for a reprieve from the work week; a reprieve from the world. 

I find myself more wrapped up in outdoor adventure than ever as I spend time up there. My weekends consist of watching sunrises and sunsets from porches as I sip my tea in the morning and my beer/wine/cocktail in the evening. Long lazy walks occur as well  as faster paced hikes through beautiful terrain. Sometimes I trail run, but most times when I'm traversing trails with speed, I'm on a mountain bike.

I'm falling head over heels (not is inevitable, I fear) for mountain biking. Tucker County has some of the best trails in the country for the sport along with some truly outstanding athletes. I never ever expected I would enjoy mountain biking as much as I am. It's a rush. It's insane. The trail consumes my thoughts wholly and I'm able to completely lose myself in each precise moment as I traverse the trail, my worries about the rest of the world completely absent for the while.

Over the past holiday weekend, I traded back and forth between horse and bike. I trailered Q up for the weekend to ride with friends in the valley. Over three rides, we covered around 28 miles with over 2800' climbing. The middle ride was short with nearly no tricky terrain, but the other two involved 1000' climbs.

About to drop off the edge of the 1000' descent; we'd climbed it previously

Riding in and around that area is so stunningly beautiful. The greenery is outstanding right now, so crisp and vibrant. I discovered that my little mare has gained more confidence than ever of late. She adored the single track trails and the pipeline right-of-way. During the weekend we only had one spook event that sticks in my mind - this is amazing when I think back to this time last year where I was lucky to get through a ride with fewer than 3 events!

The high elevation valley air is as good for Q as it is for me it seems. Her forward, confident nature - especially on the single track - blew me out of the water. All I could do was giggle as she nearly pulled my arms out of socket in her eagerness to blast down the single track when we finally arrived to it. If the behavior continues, it will certainly become more of a handful and something worth curbing, but for the 3 rides over the weekend it was absolutely wonderful to experience such behavior exhibited from a previously fearful and timid mare.

If you "embiggen", you can see vague outlines of ski slopes on two different peaks in distance. The left one is Timberline and on the right is Canaan - both resorts I work in the winter.

To mix things up, I helped sweep a mountain bike race course on Saturday. Much like an endurance event, there were multiple loops and multiple distance echelons which competitors chose to race. The trails are marked similar to an endurance event. I helped sweep the "long" loop with the gnarliest terrain. I was "hike-a-bike"-ing most of the loop as I couldn't handle actually riding it. This was perfect as I needed to remove markers frequently along the path.

I spent my time both amazed by the beauty of the area and flabbergasted that people were actually riding bikes - at speed! - on what proved to be one of the hands down gnarliest trails I have ever traveled. To my endurance riding friends, we ain't got nothin' on this shit! These guys take the trophy for most insane trails traversed. I will never complain about a gnarly horseback riding trail again unless I've found myself on some of this mountain biking single track.

The trail afforded me with some beautiful vistas I'd never laid eyes on before. It was so rewarding to travel across terrain I'd never seen.

By the weekend's close, the statistics were something like this:

- 28 miles on the horse
- 11 miles on the bike
- 5 miles hiked
- many miles traveled on new-to-me roads and trails
- one new swimming hole

It was certainly a weekend for the books.

The company kept throughout all of the activities was rich and wonderful. Capping off my days sitting outside eating and drinking with friends new and old as beautiful vistas surround us keeps me humbled and happy.

As the delicately sweet scent of black locust blooms wafted through the air each evening finding it's way to my nose, I breathed deep, taking in the sight of the first fireflies blinking in the distance, listening to the crickets sing during the breaks in what tended to become quiet conversation with the falling darkness.

I am beyond fortunate.