Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Learning to Slow Down (and Reaping Rewards)

When Q was diagnosed with a lesion in her LH suspensory late last summer, it felt like a gut punch. My mind immediately drudged up some silver linings though, primarily that I could take this time to slow down and get this mare back on a good page mentally. Q's horrible spooking habit has only worsened in recent years and with it her confidence. I made countless mistakes that led to it, and I am making every effort to resolve it now. 

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She's cute, but man, is she difficult. The night I took this was my breaking point.

The good thing about any mistake is that you can learn from it and prevent making it again. Some mistakes will be repeated before you can learn from them and others take longer to resolve, but it's always worth it in the end. In this situation, I'm having to dig deep mentally to resolve bad patterns I developed. It's a hard road to confront myself on certain things, but in order to improve my future endeavors with horses (and life, really) it's a road I'm happy to travel.

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Grateful to see her relaxed and stretching out and down instead of imitating a giraffe for once.

For me, the hardest step with Q has been having to put a hard stop on lofty goals I had with the mare. I've known for a long time that's what would be the best thing, but it was so hard to commit to slowing down! The suspensory diagnosis slammed me backward onto my ass and forced my hand. My innate perfectionist nature and drive to power forward was halted. As uncomfortable as this made me, I knew deep down it was a good thing and the right thing.

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Selfie following a positive session!

Bringing this little mare back around has been a process - it still is a process! But I am finding success.

The first step was changing up our tack so I could feel more secure riding through her spooks, and then deconstructing her spooking behavior to try to find some rhyme and reason to the when's and why's. Ultimately, the mare has learned that balking/spooking leads to less work - even if that reduction in work is temporary. She exhibits the behavior the most when we begin work, when things become "hard", and when she deems us "done".

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Friends?!

The more I've ignored her behavior in the past few months, the less she has presented it. Even her excessive overreactions to truly startling stimuli (deer bursting out of nowhere, dogs barking and lunging on their chains, etc.) are beginning to diminish to a more reasonable place.

My absence of reaction to her reactions has helped a ton, as has my mindset of continuing work to move her feet and perform the task at hand (sometimes with added tasks if she's being a pill). But on top of these things, the fact that I have not hit the turf due to one of her spooks has also made an impression on her, I think. (Please, oh please, let me not have jinxed myself just now.)  By not directly (nothing physical or verbal) or indirectly (falling off) reacting, I've taken a lot of the "fun" out of Q's behavior and robbed her of finding a reward in its execution.

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Just look at those relaxed ears!

The decrease in her spooking behavior is a sure-sign of success, but our ride this weekend was a huge indication that what I've been doing is exactly the right thing for her.

Lauren, Stan, Q and I set out on a 25°F blustery winter ride on the rail trail on Sunday. We tackled 16 miles over 2½ hours. Stan led 13 of these miles, but Q did step up to the plate and lead for two consecutive miles in the middle and then again for the final mile.

She was forward, with ears pricked, and body relaxed the majority of time she led the way. She certainly scanned her surroundings for threats, as she always does, but it was with less gusto than she typically exhibits.

I was absolutely blown away. It wasn't the biggest achievement ever for her (hi, OD 100), but at this point in our relationship, it was monumental. To have a relaxed mare on the rail trail (through spots I distinctly remember having multiple disagreements with her in the past) was such a great feeling!

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At our turn around point 8 miles in.

I mentioned to Lauren during the ride that I had no real goal for when Q would return to endurance this year. I may take her to some dressage stuff before we race again. Ideally, I'd love to say by next fall (because that is a super generous timeline), but honestly, I don't know. It's up to Q. I don't have huge expectations of her at the moment.

No expectations is kind of a beautiful place to be though. Shy of being maimed or some other horrible catastrophe, no expectations means I can end every ride happy about something.

Slowing down was hard to embrace, but I'm really grateful to be in the spot I'm in now.

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Leading along the road for the 0.15-mile between the
rail trail and back road to the barn.

So, what about you? Do you have a story about a time you slowed down a process with your horse that led to a lot of rewards later on? Did you find it easy to slow down or are you like me and struggled with it at first?

23 comments:

  1. I love this post so much. I totally get you about the slowing down and re-doing. Q and Carmen are so very very similar.

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    1. <3 It's the simple things that are so hard sometimes!

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  2. I never regret any of the time I slowed down to build a relationship with Pig, and I'm trying to remember that as I work with Bast.
    You know, sometimes us falling of damages their confidence, too. I wonder if you staying on is helping her realize you're gonna (literally, lol) say with her and see her through?

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    1. You've blown my mind with that thought! I wonder?!!

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  3. That's where I am with Gwyn.She's young enough that I don't feel rushed into my goals with her, so we've gone back to basics (which is, in reality, working on me) with an instructor and I'm so excited to already see results. I feel closer to my goals now than I did before I stopped to fix the little things.

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    1. That's so awesome that you've got an instructor to you two move forward!

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  4. I am not good at the whole slowing down thing. I've had to a bunch of times with Nilla, but they were always just when we started doing well. We do NOT come back from those down times doing better so I am not looking forward to the next leg up period. I'm glad Q is doing so much better for you.

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    1. Nilla is such a character and I don't doubt that she makes legging up periods really frustrating. I wish you the best of luck - I'm sure you'll end up with some epic photos through the process?

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  5. Slowing down is so hard. While I’m not glad that an injury was what caused the slow down, I’m really happy that you two are forming a better relationship and understanding.

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    1. Me. Too. As much as I'm disappointed that the injury was what had to happen to get me to recognize what I should do, it's definitely been good.

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  6. The difficult horses have so much to teach us. :-)

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    1. Do. They. Ever. My word. This damn mare has taught me so freaking much about horses and myself. It's insane.

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  7. i'm so glad things are going so well with Q mare! she's a special sensitive soul - and will hopefully offer many rewards for your careful patience!

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  8. I’m in a forced slow-down with Dino right now, and while part of me is frustrated, I mostly feel relieved and at peace with it. He’s been so happy in his work and excited to go do things, and taking a break from hardcore training has been so good for our partnership.

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    1. His happiness in his job is so evident in your recent posts, too! You two have such an incredible partnership.

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  9. A lot of this resonates with me...mostly because Robin evades work in the exact same way. I'm not very sticky though and am a nervous rider, so the spooking has always been too much for me. I'm committed to the little red diva for life though, she just has a place as herd leader on the farm instead of riding horse. It helps that I have multiple horses so all my eggs aren't in that one basket. I have a feeling Griffin is allowing you a similar situation that keeps you from being too enthusiastic about competing Q.

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    1. I hear you about multiple horses! It's definitely nice to be able to step away from the challenging character and still be able to enjoy riding. That's so cool that Robin still has a valuable place with you even if it isn't as a riding horse.

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  10. This is so relatable. When I got my horse, he threw every challenge he could at me. Over the past three years, every time we've made progress, he's injured himself and I feel like we backslide once again. The best thing this process has taught me is to go on my own timeline and adjust as curveballs are thrown. I am not going to feel guilty that he needs time off for this surgery and will probably get the winter off due to injury/surgery for the third year in a row. He can take the time he needs to heal. I am not going to feel ashamed for just doing a walk ride or getting off after a terrible 20 minutes of fighting with him in the saddle because he just can't counter canter today. I have no one to impress, and nothing but time. My goals are there, but they'll come with time. Horses have a funny way of rendering timelines and goal planning completely useless. I've learned more about my horse through his injuries than I ever have while he's been under saddle, and while it's often hard, finding that silver lining and learning from every situation makes all the difference. Moments like what you described above make it all worth it! (Also - Just started reading your blog and love it!)

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    1. "Horses have a funny way of rendering timelines and goal planning completely useless." So true!! And I absolutely second learning more about our horses when they are injured. Funny how that always seems to happen. It sounds like you have a great mindset despite all of the ups and downs. Your horse is lucky to have such a level-headed partner!

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  11. Great attitude during rehab! I'm returning to dressage basics and the goal of riding bridleless on my girl's suspensory rehab. It is good to have something else to focus on, and having a better horse at the end is great!

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  12. I think when we are young (or at least me definitely) we learn to rush through and go fast, but the older I get the more I realize that slowing down and doing things a bit more methodically is the quickest way in the end (and also provides me with so much piece of mind)

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