Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Final 2 weeks of the Yoga Girl Challenge

I'm more than a little behind on cross-posting this to the blog!

Day 9 of the yoga girl challenge: True Forgiveness The few people who have truly hurt me deep caused me to hold an internal grudge for a long time. Fortunately, today's challenge helps me to think back on those people in a softer light, with forgiveness. It's good to release those grudges from my mind; freeing. More than those grudges though, I need to forgive myself for things. Oddly, this isn't as easy as forgiving others, but it is getting easier to do all the time. I'm really embracing the universe and just letting things flow more and more. My past shows me that all my worrying was for naught because ultimately the universe did as it wished. I can't blame myself and hold things against myself that I really had no control over. Here is to breathing, relaxing, and releasing myself from the bonds I placed against myself. Forgiveness is good.

Day 10 of the yoga girl challenge: Get Creative A perfect day for me for this challenge! I've got a lot of painting to finish up since the weather is finally humid enough to paint. And when that's done I will figure a creative way to salvage some metal and reorganize some things. I love being creative in so many ways. It makes my heart happy to create and recreate things.

Days 11 and 12 of the yoga girl challenge: Random Act of Kindness & Get Shit Done. Once again, I did several small acts of kindness over the past few days instead of one big one. Spread the love. And I have done SO many things this weekend I needed to do. My to do list is miniscule now! Finished the cart, cleaned up the yard, 2 loads of laundry done and put away. 5 total horseback rides including one lesson for me - my first in over a decade! (note Atticus weaving around me in the photo)

Day 13 of the yoga girl challenge: Be Fearless. Change, big change, is one of my biggest fears. Change like moving or relationships with friends being significantly altered or losing someone or anything big like that. I don't think that kind of thing is easy for anyone, and none of us can escape big change. It happens eventually. I've pondered leaving WV for school or career for a long time now. I've tried time and time again to leave, but despite my efforts (4 grad school applications and > 45 job applications) through the years, I've remained in WV. The thought of leaving becomes harder and scarier the longer I'm here. I love it here, but I know I will leave at some point - if only for at short time. As jobs arise in "dream" locations, I still put in for them half-heartedly. I'm happy in my current position and hope to stay for several years to come (why leave a good thing), but every time I submit an application I have a rush of thoughts about "what if". What if this is the one? What if I take the plunge and *just go*? And then I have a micro panic attack about how big of a change it would be and how crazy and fun and stressful it would be. I like security. I like comfort. Ergo, big changes scare me. But I need to get better about them. If I dont, the stress will rule me when I inevitably have to deal with change. And thus I meditate. And I practice mindful exercises to keep me rooted in the present and in logic, not fanatical "what if" situations. And while it's a continual effort, big changes don't scare me as much as they once did. I have trained myself to seek meditation to calm my frantic mind and bring it to a better, level place. It's a much nicer place to be, and this tactic has helped me through every fearful moment I have had the past couple years. 

 Yoga girl challenge day 14: Clean Out. Well, data on my phone was off until today so I'm a day late posting! Cleaning out is something I'm really great at. I'm constantly purging material possessions throughout the year. It feels so good to have less clutter around me and it's always so great when I can re purpose things. Living in a space that only has one closet for the past year + has led to a lot of cleaning out of unnecessary things. 

Yoga girl challenge day 15: Sweat. Not in the fitness way did I sweat today! This lovely mare was having an off day and put us into a sticky situation that ended up with me on the ground! Tallest, biggest horse I've been dumped from! And plenty of moments to think about how I was going to fall and when, too. Fine though. And we ended on a good note. 

Day 16 of the yoga girl challenge: Alter. Photos of some of my endurance rides complete with my first mileage award badge that spurs me forward to my 500 mile mark. 

Day 17 of the yoga girl challenge: I love you. I'm bad at posting this on the actual day! I spend the day thinking about them all day long and then never actually post! Love to me has always been more of a private thing. I'm not the person running around yelling it aloud to anyone who wants to listen. I try to let my actions show it more than my words. I try to give my time to those I love and spend as much time as I can with them. I try to partake in their activities and share mine with them. I'm loyal to my friends and go out if my way to be there for them through good times and bad. I've had people observe the amount of time i spend with someone or with my animals and remark, "I can really tell that you love _______ because you devote so much of your time". I may not say those three little words, I love you, but I certainly love all of my friends, family, and critters very much. 

Day 18 yoga girl challenge: Mother Nature. No caption. Just enjoy.

Yoga girl challenge day 19: Random act of kindness. Helped a friend pick up her yard today.

Yoga girl challenge day 20: Something New. Ran the Upper Yough with my buddy @hazetheguide today. First time running it without swimming. Also did a headstand IN THE RAFT during some flatwater at the end. Something new: check!!

Yoga girl challenge day 21: Self Love. The final day. I did it. Amazingly enough. And on the final day I am supposed to channel the good and the love from the previous 20 days into myself and do things for myself today that make me happiest. While I thought about it a lot today, today wasn't the day for doing such things. I certainly did things I enjoy, but they were intermittent. I have excelled at such days in the past and loved them; today just didn't warp into one of those. One will certainly come though. Taking time for myself to make me happy is something I have tried to do a lot more of in recent years. It is so important to be able to love yourself and make yourself happy without relying on others. Some of my favorite days are those when I do MY thing all day and then end the day by taking myself on a date alone. Total peace and happiness. I think I will continue to ponder over this day's challenge and execute it in a more private way later in the week.    

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