23 things

A friend of mine pulled this together and I thought it was so insightful and quite brilliant, so I’ve decided to do one of my own. I’ve got 2 more months of 23. It may not be a very significant age (you can already drink legally, but you still can’t rent a car on the cheap), but it’s been a really awesome year for me [so far].

23 things I’ve learned at 23

1. Pick your battles – There are a lot of times it would be easy to throw in your two-cents that may agree or disagree with another’s point. Sometimes it’s not worth it to push things. Smile, accept things, and let life move on. Why cause grief over nothing?
2. Keep your mouth closed – This goes in part with 1. above; it’s not always best to add everything you have to say. Sometimes it’s better to listen, sometimes it’s better to just let conversation keep happening without stalling on a subject, sometimes the moment is not about you – accept it.
3. Go with the flow – Not always the easiest thing, but once you can accept things around you as they are you can do your best to make the absolute best out of situations; you will be happier for it.
4. Sleep ≠ thinking – Going to sleep is going to sleep, it is not lying in bed waiting to fall asleep and fretting about everything that did, could, might, may have happened.
5. Everything falls into place – Seriously. Everything is going to be okay.
6. Don’t worry about things you can’t control – Just don’t. It’s a waste of time that could be spent doing fun, happy things.
7. Distance is nothing – Friends move to follow dreams and goals. Friendships do not end due to this. True friends keep up with each other via snail mail, email, Skype, and various other messaging programs. They find a way to cheer you up on rough days from states, coastlines, and oceans away.
8. Be Yourself – It’s easier. And you will be happier for it.    
9. Don’t micromanage life – You can’t control it all, and you’re not psychic, so stop planning every detail.
10. Everything gets better – It really does. And you’re going to be okay. It just takes time (and yes, sometimes time SUCKS).
11. Bad days just happen – Refer to 6. Sometimes you can’t control things (traffic, technology failures, etc.). Don’t freak out about it. Make the most of it, laugh at yourself because you can’t do a thing to change things sometimes.
12. Time management isn’t easy – Seriously, can there be a day between Saturday and Sunday?
13. Budgets suck – Truly, they do. But they are a necessary evil.
14. You can’t do everything – Not on your own anyway.
15. Rejection isn’t so bad – It’s just a stepping stone to something better.
16. Be the bigger person – This is hard and it sucks to do, but its necessary. Sometimes you have to suck up your pride and be the bigger person. It will salvage friendships and prevent undue drama.
17. Drama is not necessary – This isn’t middle school any more folks. Stop your nonsense.
18. Worse things have happened to better people – Really. They have! A friend told me this after my dog destroyed something of hers and I felt so, so bad about it. It ended up being a really easy fix and I learned a lot from the experience. What you’re going through is likely not the end of the world. Things could be a lot worse.
19. Say “No” – If you don’t people are going to walk all over you and take advantage of you. Additionally, you’ll run yourself into the ground trying to accomplish all of your tasks and obligations.
20. Being alone is not a bad thing – It’s a wonderful thing. I hope everyone can find comfort with it.
21. Appreciate what you have and who you are – You’re pretty lucky. Think about it.
22. Have faith in yourself – You’re capable of anything.
23. Be present – Focus on the NOW. Don’t dwell on the past – but it is okay to learn from it. Don’t live in the future – but you can have hope for it. Wherever you go, there you are.

Nat'l Ski Patrol

There were a TON of us out this past weekend because my candidate class was doing phase II testing and we needed loads of patrollers to be testers, patients, and patrollers.  Nearly the entire staff (pro and volunteer) were there.

Saturday was BEYOND stressful for me.  First aid testing scenarios on the hill ... in a mother flippin' blizzard.  Cold, cold, cold.  Wind, wind, wind.  Snow, snow snow.  Normally I would whoop and cheer over this, but having to STAND AROUND in it ALL DAY changes one's opinion of "good" weather quite quickly.  Sunday was a bluebird day for the ski and toboggan (where toboggan is a SLED not a HAT) test.

Sunday (obviously)
This is just over half way up the mountain.
I had to walk/climb to the trees in the dead center of the photo.
Photo: Linda Smith

My scenarios on Saturday went fairly well.  I made one crucial - or so I thought - mistake that I thought should have failed me and began royally freaking out afterwards.  It was such a long, stressful day.  I had a wicked headache by the end.  Up at 5:30a, on the mountain in the cold from 8a - 4:45p, then sitting around waiting to "hear the news" from 4:45p - 5:15p.  I just wanted to sleep.  I didn't care about my results.  I was so exhausted.  But finding out wasn't an option.

They called me into the office second.  The two directors, the paramedic guru, and my instructor were lined up.
Paramedic: "How do you think you did?"
Me: "Mostly good."
P: "What part are you concerned about?"
Me: blah-blah-blah long-winded explanation that no one in the blogosphere cares about involving me not putting someone at the head when c-spine and spine were clear blah-blah-blah
P: "Well, it was meant to be an isolated injury, so while you should be certain to do it in the future, it wasn't an issue for this scenario.  *dramatic pause*  You passed all your scenarios.  Congratulations."
All break into grins and give me hand shakes, hugs, etc.
I cry.

End scene.

Sunday's ski and toboggan skills didn't worry me at all.  They were more fun than stressful.  I was confident in my abilities and had nothing to fear.  And,  I passed.  So what better to reward a sum total of 7 months of hard training with?  Climbing up the mountain with my skis on logically!  Right of passage.

With Kate pre-climb.

I didn't have to climb the WHOLE thing.  Just 80% of it.  Fortunately some friends were there that day with kick-wax.  They let me use it and the whole ordeal was rather painless.  I climbed in 27 minutes.  Would have taken me at least twice as long without the kick-wax.  I did get a wicked sunburn on my face though.  A large number of the patrol heckled me as I went.  Snowball throwing, water bottle giving, sunscreening (too late), and picture taking.  As I stabbed my pole into the end-point I got lots more hugs and congratulations. Pretty good feeling after burning a bajillion calories.

Getting a handshake and a hug from my instructor
Photo: Kate Hall

Climbing the rest of the way
Photo: Kate Hall

Photo: Kate Hall

Wiping the sweat
Photo: Kate Hall

Made it!
Photo: Kate Hall

Being lazy post-climb. I'm in the green.
Photo: Linda Smith

Its been a super fun and super challenging journey getting to this point.  But accomplishment feels good.  My childhood dream (one of them anyway) has been fulfilled, and another swipe off my 30 before 30 list is accomplished.  Success is a sweet, sweet nectar.

Contentment

Slow week, steady week, good week.

I’m settling into this job finally. Taking it as it comes. Not watching the clock wishing idly for something more. Not powering through my workload at light speed. Leisurely enjoying what I’m given and letting the minutes slip by as they inevitably will. It’s a good place to be. Its nice to be content with what you have and not always wanting more.

I’ve done a lot of number crunching this week for my OSU courses and course plan. I think I can finish this certificate/degree by June 15. There’s still a little bit up in the air as to what courses I’ll be taking for certain this fall, but chances are very good that I will be taking 12 hours (of the 23 total I need to complete this degree). Wham, bam, done. At least that’s how it’s looking! It’ll be nice to have a little more on my resume. Some more credentials. Between this job and that degree (and some mad-awesome first aid skills acquired from my NSP training) I’m going to be sitting pretty as far as my resume is concerned come June 2012! Muy bueno.

And then? My dream [ha] would be is to move to Oregon, buy a little trailer, score another FWS position, work on getting into a graduate program w/in the next four years (before my GRE scores expire). Why a trailer? Well I mean, a little house would be acceptable, too, but basically I plan on going somewhere for 2-5 years to really build on myself and learn more about another place and I’m tired of dealing with rent and pet issues etc. Getting my own tiny place would be nice. Sell it when I am ready to move on. I’m a clean person so it wouldn’t be a dump when I was done or anything.

And my super dream [double ha]: move west, get small residence, get horse, participate in mad-awesome endurance races and live the good life, the horse life. But chances of this? Slim. Not impossible, just slim chances right now. I’m keeping my goals feasible and possible with time-limits on them right now. Knowing I’m definitely going to meet them with time is much nicer than setting some extravagantly silly goal of owning x number of horses/dogs/etc., living in such-and-such extravagant home, working at such-and-such cushy job.

Dreaming aside, back to the present…

I purchased one of these this week:

For my chair at work. Had it for Thursday and Friday, so far, so good. No hip pain like I’d been having daily. Mom said she used to have the (maybe still has?) the issue of hip pain due to the bucket seat design of most work chairs. This little invention is the exact opposite of bucket seat. Not to mention its excellent for improving posture! Not the squishiest and most comfortable thing in the world, but that is a minor defect in my mind. I’m coping well.

I also cleared out a lot of my clothes this week. I have a pile of old t-shirts to make into a third t-shirt quilt this winter, but aside from that I heaped up three garbage bags worth of clothes, shoes, bags, scarves to donate. Well, I was going to donate them, but then a former neighbor reminded me of her daughter so she picked them up instead.

So hurrah. I remember gaining stuff from a girl in my neighborhood when I was younger and how cool it was getting to use some of her stuff because I thought she was super cool. Anyways, I’ve downgraded all of my clothing to be only things I’ve had since I’ve entered college minus a few t-shirts and hoodies. Way less. Way good. Its been difficult to say goodbye to shoes because they’re not something I’ve necessarily out-grown as my feet have been the same size since 4^th grade!! I am so happy to have finally downgraded to such little in comparison to what I used to have. It’s a really awesome feeling – complemented by helping others!

Ah, contentment, why can’t I always be best friends with you? We really are good together, you know?

"But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight"

-Mumford and Sons

I am

I am a college graduate.  What seemed so long-in-the-coming and surreal became real in a few short seconds of walking across a stage, shaking three hands, smiling for three pictures, and receiving my diploma in an envelope.

My brother is still in Europe so I'm pointing to him in this photo of WVU's production of The Grapes of Wrath - he's driving the wagon as Al Joad.

Arrival to the coliseum was chaotic.  Went to one room to get my reader card, another room to line up with fellow Biology graduates, and then in our single file line we wound down the stairs and out onto the covered basketball court to be seated amongst the other 20 some majors graduating.  Eberly College of the Arts and Sciences is the largest and most diverse at WVU.  Needless to say the ceremony was long and boring - and hot, so hot.  Biochem/Biology went first - I was the 68th person to receive my diploma.  As we filed into yet another line to await walking the stage we exchanged smiles, hand-shakes, and some teary eyes with each other.  Its crazy that after four years of stressing over - what now seem like petty quizzes and tests - we were about to graduate.  At times it seemed like we'd never get there., and then boom its happening.  We did it.

So proud of my freshman year roommate and her Order of Augusta status.  =)

I am a college graduate.  We are college graduates.

And now, the question that everyone feels they must ask me, "What are you going to do now?"  and some lead the question along with an added, "Graduate school?"  And while I can quote off this "plan" I have for myself ("taking classes online through Oregon State to obtain a Master's certificate in GIS Science and spending my summer working for Fish & Wildlife - Why? - because wildlife is different from most graduate programs in that they must have a project and full funding for it prior to advertising the position and finding the perfect student, its a back-door process") the truth is I don't know what I'm going to do, really.  

I am uncertain.  I don't know what I want to a T.  I know that the perfect opportunity will arise.  I do want to get my Master's of Science in wildlife - or maybe GIS.  I want to begin this within the next five years.  I'll be carrying 8 hours this fall.  But truly, I don't have some "big plan" for things.  Honestly, I wish people could just lay off and let sleeping dogs lie.  I'm not throwing my life away.  The bulk of responses I get when I quote off my plan that doesn't - yet - include me going off to graduate school somewhere are very disappointing.  Its great that society places education so highly, and that success is seen as education.  Education is an amazing accomplishment.  But jeebus, let me have a break.  I've got my priorities in line still, I just want to have some fun for a little while and relax.  -And by "little while" I mean a year.  That's not so much in the grand scheme of things.  And if the perfect opportunity arises before, then so be it, I will take it.  But its not my biggest priority.  I have a great job in the mean time.

I am accomplished.  I've done so much these past four years.  Stressing over so many things.  But worth it?  yes.  I'm a better, and - believe it or not - calmer and more level-headed person from it all.  Its a good place to be. 

I am happy. 

Magna cum Laude

Its official.  3.74 final GPA, graduating magna cum laude - so crazy.  Its weird to see it online on my unofficial web transcript.  The Degrees Awarded area has been blank for so long, and now its filled in with Bachelor of Science and my awards are listed below.  I can't believe its over, I did it.  Honors ceremony is Friday night, Biology ceremony is Sunday afternoon - not looking forward to the second because the college within the university that my department is in consists of at least a dozen, if not more, majors.  Going. To. Be. So. Long.  ACK.  But, worth it.  That piece of paper that I ranted on about back in December or whenever, I want it now.  I've earned it.  So I want that piece of paper with the silly writing and the silly seal and the silly signatures.  Its mine.  And its going on my flippin' wall.

Rainbows and unicorns

I wish life could be all rainbows and unicorns, but alas, it isn't.  As Dolly Parton once said, "If you want rainbows, you have to put up with the rain."  And that was my day today in a nutshell.

Today was the big day.  My thesis defense.  I practiced and practiced my speech last night in full freak-out mode until midnight when I forced myself into bed.  I slept soundly until 4:30a when I woke briefly, then I dozed in and out of sleep and nightmares until 6a when I got up for good.  I ran through my defense speech a  couple more times, showered, forced some food in my mouth, and headed to the library to print off a tree or two - or, I mean, my thesis.  I made a stop for a half hour in my animal behavior class, discovered I'd received a grade of 100% on my past exam - whoop, whoop! - and then skipped out of class early to head to my defense that was across campus (one of the joy's of WVU!, three -or is it four? - campuses).  And of course, the PRT (WVU's little one-car trolley system between campuses) was BROKE DOWN - that is my West Virginia dialect for you, broke down, so deal with it.  Needless to say this frazzled my what-were-calmed nerves.  But I caught a bus and still got there early.

One of my Ph. D. candidate friends had almost completely calmed me again in the hallway outside the conference room I was to present in.  My GIS professor committee member arrived and we went in the room.  He helped find a projector for my slideshow and I worked on getting it setup.  Then the biology coordinator for the thesis program arrived.  Minutes passed, my two Ph. D. candidate friends arrived.  Minutes passed - my thesis adviser, a crucial person in this whole thing still hadn't arrived.  I was apologizing profusely to the biology director-lady.   She told me we kind of needed my adviser there.  So, beginning to panic, I jogged down the hall to check her office again.  Nothing.  I went down the hall to her husband's office and asked him where she was - and then I started crying.  Freak-out mode engaged.  He couldn't get a hold of her so I headed back to the conference room convinced I would be failing.  Jesse, one of the candidate friends of mine, met me half way to say my adviser was in the room.  I started crying harder.  Freak-out mode had taken over.  He calmed me a little and gave me a hug and told me it would be okay.  We headed back to the room where I had to sit for a moment to gain control of myself and stop crying enough to present.

I recovered beautifully and got stronger as I went along, according to Jesse.  I don't really remember.  To me the entire thing was a great big disaster.  But I passed.  I feel as if they passed me because they felt bad for me.  Who knows.  Biology-director-lady did tell me when things were said and done (an hour later) that she was very impressed with what I had accomplished, and how these kinds of statistics are so far beyond the scope of most undergraduates.  So that cheered me a little.  I walked out talking with my adviser, who it ended up, had the flu and her son has bronchitis.  I had figured as much, but this was an important day for me and I needed her there.  I'm so thankful she came, but man, I didn't need freak-out mode to become engaged in the process.

After the defense I walked aimlessly around the Evansdale campus calming myself down, telling myself it was all over and I was okay.  I walked to Kroger (a grocery) and picked up sushi to celebrate being done & and a Dr. Pepper.  I then walked aimlessly around the campus again trying to find the perfect spot to sit, relax, and eat.  My dress khakis and boots were really boggin' me down at this point in the 80 degree, full-out-sunshine.  Ack.  I finally found a place.  I sat down.  I opened my Dr. Pepper for a big refreshing swig...soda-splosion.  All over me and my dress clothes.  It was the ultimate soda-splosion.  And that was it.  The last straw.  I broke down again.  I called a friend I wouldn't usually call for favors and asked him for a ride home.  Class started in less than an hour and I simply wasn't going dressed like this.  He picked me up.  Words couldn't express my gratitude for this favor.  I was able to change into more comfortable, weather-appropriate clothing, eat my sushi, drink the offending Dr. Pepper, and ride my bike to class on time - where I presented my thesis in an abbreviated format for fulfillment of my final project for that class; and I presented it with gusto this time, might I add!! 

All in all, its been a VERY trying day for me.  Physically exhausting and mentally trying.  But the most important thing?  I made it.  I got through it.  And I passed.  AND I'M DONE!  I have a few corrections before I turn in the thesis to be bound and kept in the biology department.  But. I. Am. Done.  I will be graduating with honors in Biology.  I will be graduating from the Honors College.  I will be graduating magna cum laude.  I will be graduating magna cum laude, with honors in Biology.  Take THAT undergraduate college career.  BOOYA - yes, I just said booya, and I'm not ashamed.  I wanted my rainbows.  I put up with a lot of damn rain to get my rainbow.  There better be a flippin' unicorn, too.

i see the light...

I had my exit interview for the WVU Honors College this week.  I didn't really know what it was about - I though they would assess me and make sure I was still qualified to graduate from the Honors College or something...  Wrong-o.  All I had to do was tell them what was awesome about the HC and what they could improve on.  So... SWEET.

I would definitely recommend an HC experience to anyone if they had the chance.  I don't know how they run at other big universities, but it was a god-send to have it here.  It gave me the chance to have honors courses each semester that had a max. of 25 students.  I didn't try to take my honors courses in my subject field, instead I chose those that were taught by amazing professors.  Best. Experience. Ever.  Pseudoscience, Human Sexuality (yes, we talked about all those taboo things like masturbation and sex positions and...*gasp*...we watched porn - and filmed live births w/o anything left out, ack), Life Choices, City as Text (where I walked all around Morgantown instead of remaining in the classroom and explored all the history that is around town), Social Psychology, and Biometry (okay, okay, that one was in my field).  I gained SO much knowledge on sweet subjects from people who were SO into their field of study.  It truly makes a huge difference when professors are really enthusiastic about their subject.

So I checked out of the Honors College, shook the Dean's hand - he's also been my adviser for four years - and was handed these:

And then, as I walked home, it slowly dawned on me - I'm graduating.  I'm graduating college.  College is over.  I've always thought about this, and dreamed about this, and so many things, but DOING this?  Wow.  Its going to happen whether I'm ready or not.  Super exciting.  And super scary.  But walking across that stage in that gold gown amidst a sea of navy gowns will be so amazing.  My biggest achievement so far.

But damn, the real world is just looming over me.  I want to get my Master's of Science, but when and where are still up in the air.  I know the perfect opportunity will pop up when I'm ready for it, and I know it'll be awesome.  Just gotta keep my eyes and ears open for it.  Until then...

Real world, are you ready for me?  'Cause here I come to take you for a test drive.