Happiness: a work in progress

I’m happy.  I live a charmed life full of all things that thrill me and excite me on a daily basis.  It’s a wonderful way to live and an amazing way to allow for reduction of stress when things are seemingly impossible.  Having easy access to people and things that make me happiest is quite the blessing.
 

But – there’s always a “but”, isn’t there? - I have things I need to work on to keep my happiness level where it is and boost it beyond.

I need to work on my do-what-I-love-and-like-no-matter-what-others-feel-about-it attitude.  I’m far too empathetic and worried about upsetting other people at times.  Inwardly I want to please and make everyone happy.  That’s absurd.  And it’s impossible.  And it’s holding me back.

Personal happiness should be for yourself and for no one else’s approval or disapproval.  It’s got to be about a “me-first” attitude to some extent.  I’ve been working on my me-first attitude and actions since the year began.  And it is really making a difference, but I have more work to do on myself.

My actions and activities I partake in are for my happiness and enjoyment.  If someone happens to disapprove, well that’s just too bad.  I’m not going out and doing things to intentionally upset or offend anyone personally.  I’m the kind of person who apologizes for the way I am & what I’m doing too often.  It’s absolutely silly of me and I need to quit it.  I shouldn’t have to apologize for being me.

I’m an adult.  I’m becoming more and more well-versed in many topics and choosing to partake in things that interest me (that’s right, me not anyone else).  People are inevitably going to disagree and have opposing opinions about my choices.  But that’s their opinion and I don’t have to live by it.  Disapproval comes from bad experiences with certain things that certain people have done – things that turn out poorly in some manner or another.  The bottom line here is that I’m not those people.  I will inevitably make mistakes of my own, but they will be my own and unlinked to stereotypical bias with any group doing said activity. 

The person I am and the person I strive to be are difficult to mesh together at times.  Outside influence from people in my life resisting change makes it difficult.  I need to be stronger and overcome them.  It’s been said that nothing is stronger than its weakest link – I need to overcome the difficulty and break away from those weakest links.  I need to break loose from tip-toeing around things that are holding me back.  Burst through the seams and approach them head on.  Pity that’s so much easier said than done sometimes.  It’s a work in progress.  I’m a work in progress.  But asking people to accept me-for-me (&& the person I want to become), is it really so much to ask?