Monday, August 22, 2011

Future me **edit**

In the future I will be:
  • calm about happenings - not worried about things I have no control over
  • confident in my abilities - not putting myself down
  • optimistic
  • pragmatic & objective instead of falling back on my type-A personality
  • stay in my adult chair and be aware of which chair I'm in (parent, child, adult)
  • focused on being happy & relaxed (though all of the above should lead to this)
  • less judgmental of people and situations - not jumping to a conclusion in my mind, but not ignoring a gut feeling either
  • fewer facetious/mean/quick remarks
I'm already actively working on a lot of these things & I get better all the time.  But I"m still regressing on occasion and I need that to lessen.  A class I had in college discussed how we can actively change ourselves.  Different steps up a spiral leading to milestones, but you will always stumble & fall back to a former spiraled step where you have to start upward again. 

The goal is to reach permanent change where you are stable on top - where the change is not a change, no more falling, its a permanent occurrence in your life.  This could take days, months or years depending on the change.  Its possible to do if you work at it though!  And work on it, I am.

Not to say there are things wrong with me now.  There are a lot of things about myself that I want to keep.  Things I’ve worked on since I was in high school that I have majorly improved upon and have really become a part of who I am.
After I wrote last night’s post I sat down and read through my 4-H Charting book – from a self-discovery course I did through 4-H (one of the greatest things I participated in as a kid and young-adult & I definitely recommend it to any one for their kids!!!  No, 4-H is not just cows and corn!!).  I’m surprised how "together" I was back then, because I didn't feel I was until I read what I wrote.  Some things are different - one primarily concerning my religious views – but for the most part I’m the same person.  The same ideals govern me day to day in the present as they did in the past. 
·         Honesty
·         Tolerant
·         Trustworthy
·         Accepting
·         Organized
·         Detail-oriented
·         Fun-loving
·         Appreciative of where I am and what I’ve done
·         Open to change and willing to adapt
My values five years ago were these: honesty, adventure, relationships, education, health.  My principles were:  honesty in all situations, willingness to try new things, desire for adventure, spontaneity, and kindness to all.

In addition to those I have also incorporated some things I wrote down that I really wanted to work on back then – be more outgoing and be a better listener.  It took getting out of my small town home and heading off to college to fix the outgoing thing, but I did it with gusto.  I have so many incredible friends from all over (both geographically and in walks-of-life).  A lot of these friendships wouldn’t have been made if I hadn’t been bold enough to say that first “hello” or pose some silly statement to strike up a conversation.  In fact, I doubt most of these friendships would exist!
I know I listen better now because I notice how little I talk in comparison to how I used to be.  I used to have conversations with people and look back on them later on and scold myself for talking too much.  Now I sometimes scold myself for not piping up enough!  I really feel though that I’ve found a good balance for most conversations.  A balance between listening and contributing to conversations.  Ebb and flow, baby.  Give a little, get a little.  And it’s a good place I’m at with it all now.  And it makes me really happy to recognize where I am with it.
I’m really surprised and thrilled to see where I am now compared to 5 years ago when I began my Charting experience.  I’ve grown up – a lot – but I’m still me.  And I feel I’m better than I was before.  Seeing the change in myself is really amazing and makes me feel really great about my life.  Five years ago I had to make predictions about where I would be in 5 years, which is now.  

Five years from now
I want to do:
  1. Be in college
  2. Accomplish my goals (get good grades)
  3. Sky dive
  4. Travel
I want to have:
  1. Wonderful friends
  2. Good grades
  3. A job
  4. An apartment
I want to be:
  1. Honest
  2. Loyal
  3. Ambitious
  4. Understanding
Other than that whole sky diving bit I'm where I wanted to be.  So, go me?  Haha, I'm happy.  And happiness is all that matters.  Changes are good, I like where I've come due to the changes in my life.  Character building times really suck, but I wouldn't be who I am now without them.  And who I am now is pretty happy and content and stronger than ever.  Its a good place to be; its a strong foundation to keep building upon.

Have you fulfilled goals you made for yourself years ago?  Are you proud of what you've done and where you are now?  Who you are?

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