Whirlwind Weekend: Dressage Schooling Show & Conquering Fear

I had every intention of posting this sooner, but unfortunately I have had too much going on to sort through the copious amount of media necessary to do this post justice! I also have crap internet at my house and uploading photos was quite the feat...72 hours of attempting. (I typically wait until I can strategically upload them from my parents' place.) So, without further ado, finally, the telling of our first dressage show...

A Busy & Relaxing Morning

Despite a busy first day that turned into an evening that went past my bedtime and resulted in a headache, Sunday promised an early start yet again. Austen's test was first thing in the morning and mine weren't until 2:27pm and 2:51pm. Full day at the barn for a dressage show: engage!

Our little group stumbled out of the house and into the car by 6:30am Sunday morning to commute to the barn so Austen had time to prep Pig and warm him up.

I'll leave the storytelling to her, but will say it is such a joy to watch the pair of them doing what they love. I admit fully to having some tears in my eyes at the end of the test as Austen loved on Pig and thanked him for executing his job so well once again.

Following her test, we took a few "glamour shots".

However, knowing Austen had ample glamour shots of her and her boy from years past, I encouraged them to pursue something else they loved but didn't have as many photos of: galloping.

I love how these turned out and I think it's safe to say that all parties enjoyed the photoshoot thoroughly.

We still had 4 or so hours to kill before my tests. We visited the tack sale, wandered the property, cleaned Griffin up, got snacks from a local farmer's market, and generally lazed about gabbing horses. The weather was absolutely heavenly and it was so pleasant to just laze about in it fully soaking the sunshine, light breeze, and total lack of jungle humidity.

Find the item that doesn't belong!
PC: Austen

Not. Amused.
PC: Emma

Picnicking
PC: Emma

Finally, it was time for me to get Griffin warmed up for our tests.

Warm-Up

I'd done a great job keeping my nerves gagged and locked up in a closet up until this point, but unfortunately, the binds began to break loose and my mind and body became a flurry of freak out. I absolutely manage my fear better than I once did, but still, the tense internal vibration of self-doubt and fear swirled inside me.

Grif, that expression could be a little more enthusiastic!

Regardless, I tacked Grif up and proceeded to the indoor to warm up.

We started just walking so he could see everything. He was a Very Good Boy. I then began to add in spurts of trot, though not quite with number of transitions I would at home. The traffic in the indoor was blowing my mind a bit, despite Griffin being totally nonplussed. Having a larger-than-normal space to work in coupled with additional riders totally blew my brain and my nerves loosened their binds even more.

I kept warming Griffin up and added some circles per Austen's recommendation. Errors on my part and weakness on Griffin's led us to execute quite a bit of counter canter which was unnerving minutes before our test! Fortunately, Emma gave me a beautiful pep talk in a way that calmed me, and then noted that it was almost time for my test and we should go wait by the ring. (All following photos of Grif and I are by Austen.)

Trying to be a very good boy despite the traffic and the strange location

Cue: nerves fully releasing their binds and running amok in my headspace.

Let's Talk About Fear for a Moment...

I'd like to take a moment to fully address the level of my nerves going into my first dressage show.

See, while I did some 4-H shows as a kid, they weren't anything to write home about. They consisted almost wholly of members of my club that I spent a lot of time with on the regular. When I attended a slightly bigger local show, I only participated in the fun classes like egg and spoon, bareback riding, trail class, barrels, etc. I was in my comfort zone, a safe space, and it was okay.

"Showing" note my super casual attire

For a very long time growing up, I hated ever pushing outside of my comfort zone. I especially didn't like to be in front of people in a manner that I could be singled out. My brother is an actor and I'm amazed by him daily. That kind of thing makes my stomach squirm to think about. I'm the anal-retentive math-science kid. Give me a set plan to execute with reasonably certain outcomes and I'm as happy as a clam. I don't like improv and flying from the seat of my pants - I'm pretty crappy at it! I have reached a point, due to my science career, that I can and I happily will speak publicly, but that's about it so far as me liking to be the center of attention.

My competitive sport of choice that I absolutely excelled at through high school was swimming. I can't hear or see anyone when I'm swimming. It's me and the water and the clock. Zen-like, certainly, and something I have worked on harnessing for other areas of life, but distinctly more difficult without water!

Couldn't find any photos of me actually swimming, but this is immediately post race

Similar to swimming, endurance riding is me and my horse on the trail without spectators. I excel at it because I'm still within the confines of my "comfort zone". Rock climbing, mountain biking, and skiing are all similar: I'm in a safe space with little to no scrutiny. Adrenaline doesn't bother me when it's due to the direct task at hand and not pressure based on a spectator or judge.

As I blogged and learned more about dressage, I really found myself wanting to pursue it. But unlike endurance, I knew I would really need an instructor to make ends meet if I were to find success with dressage. Moreso, I realized I'd probably need to get over my fears of putting myself on display in a show setting in order to get good feedback on where I was with my training. The problem was figuring out how to get past my mental fear block!

But then I found and began following Austen's blog. The way she wrote up her lessons and her show recaps was so matter-of-fact and accepting of feedback received from trainers and judges - you know, the way it's supposed to be. The irrational, illogical mental fear block I'd built up began to shrink as I read post after post of Austen's. The more I read, the more my irrational and illogical thought patterns rearranged in such a way that I knew I could push past my fears and out of my comfort zone.

Right about this time, I also began reading Emma's blog. She, too, wrote up lesson recaps and show recaps with aplomb. The way Emma recaps lessons and shows was [is] in such a manner that I knew I was ready to get out there and find lessons to take and clinics to attend. While still present in some fashion, the mental fear block wasn't in my way anymore.

Life Coach Emma

It took a few years to put all of the pieces together and reach a point where I was ready to show. I became more and more confident as the time passed, but I know myself really well and knew I'd still have a hard time - especially the first time.

Both Austen and Emma noted to me after-the-fact that I didn't seem so nervous right before my tests. I've worked really hard to reach a point where I'm not as outwardly freaking out as I am on the inside; I'm glad that shows to some extent! But internally? Oh dear god. Internally a war was raging. Logic parried every attack Irrational Fear tried. The mental exercises and practices I've instilled in the years since college to improve myself won out and Logic prevailed in my head....if only by an inch.

Training 1: 66.304 / 3rd Place

And so, using all of the tools in my toolbox, placing faith in my abilities, and trust in my horse and the training I spent so much time putting into him, I trudged marched past the judge with what I hoped wasn't a Scared Shitless Smile. I greeted her with a word of, "It's our first dressage test ever," and headed around the dressage court so Griffin could See All the Things before we entered at A.

Horses being horses, I feel confident Griffin knew my headspace was trying not to freak out. He didn't use this as an opportunity to act out on his own though. He seemed really fucking chill actually. I was so grateful.

In moments, the judge rang the bell and Griffin and I picked up a trot and entered at A.

Enter working trot, halt, salute, proceed working trot. Score: 6.5 

Judge's remark: Shoulders right, haunches left

We're crooked but damnit we're square. Not too shabby for our first attempt at this thing...

Track left, circle left 20 meters. Score: 6.5 

Judge's remark: needs better contact in outside rein for regularity

There are a lot of things I'd like to fix about my position, but for where we are in this moment, I'll take it!

Circle left 20 meters developing left lead canter in first quarter of circle Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: slight lean on inside shoulder

Lean. Yes. But he's picking up the correct lead! WIN.

Working canter. Score: 7

Judge's remark: be softer in contact

Grif doesn't look too restricted from the contact, here, he's certainly looking around though!

Working trot. Score: 7

Judge's remark: obedient, slightly abrupt

Obedient...and distracted. HAI CAMERA.

Medium walk. Score 6.5 

Judge's remark: needs consistent contact to express walk

Yeah. My brain fell out for most of the test so far as the Riding Every Stride goes. I was more focused on staying in ring and
changing gaits at the proper points.

Change rein, free walk, medium walk. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: needs consistent contact to express walk

The only moment of stretch he had...in the first 3 strides.

Working trot. Score 7

Judge's remark: None.

Uh yeah. I have no comment on this either. Good boy.

Circle right 20 meters. Score 7

Judge's remark: needs contact on outside rein and bend

Outside rein contact is optional though?

Circle right 20 meters developing right lead canter in first quarter of circle. Score: 7

Judge's remark: tilt to inside

Tilting like a barrel racer! Yeeehaw--wait, this is a different discipline?!

Working canter. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: slight resistance

I think the resistance may have been before this photo because I'm pretty sure I popped him one with my whip

Working trot. Score: 7

Judge's remark: None

Yep. No comment from me either. My smile says how happy I am that we're done.

Down centerline, halt, salute. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: overshot centerline, shoulders right, haunches left

Crooked and overshot, but pretty square for a n00b. Also, he isn't wiggling. At home he wiggles when we halt. #winning

As we came down the centerline for our final halt and salute, a wash of feelings overcame me: relief, joy, gratitude, happiness. 

We'd done it. I did it. Griffin did it. The very moment I'd been visualizing for months - trotting down the centerline, halting, saluting - was a reality. 

Now, I just needed to do it again during my second test!

But first, I thanked the judge before exiting the ring. She smiled and made a kind remark about my first test that I don't remember due to my frazzled nerves.

Training 2

I had a short ~20 minutes between Training 1 and Training 2 to learn my next test. 

A more prepared person would have probably looked at the test some before hand. I used to be a more prepared person once upon a time. But now? Now I learned it for true in those short few minutes before I needed to go ride it. 

My nerves were still frazzled from conquering the irrational fear right before my first test. I noted that while I was still nervous for my second test, that nervous was much different this time: I was only nervous because I worried I couldn't memorize the test in time. The fear about going into the ring didn't bother me much at all now!

I quizzed myself again and again as I looked at diagrams of the test until I was certain I knew it. Then I watched the rider in front of me completely forget part of it and knew I would be okay.

In moments, Griffin and I were entering at A again.

Enter working trot, halt, salute, proceed working trot. Score: 6

Judge's remark: not straight

Track right, circle 20 meters. Score: 7

Judge's remark: sitting behind leg

Brain was in survival mode, not sit pretty mode. Next time I'm going to work on being more present and riding every stride.

Change rein. Score: 6

Judge's remark: good before X, uneven steps after
I forgot to upload this photo, but take my word for it that it was mediocre. Griffin does move best across the diagonal though, so I believe the judge's comment was accurate and fair.

Working canter left lead. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: tilt

Once again, he's on the correct lead and that's all I was really aiming for at this point. I will work on the tilt and our geometry.

Circle left 20 meters. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: tilt

Tilt-a-whirl-away-we-go!

Working trot. Score: 7

Judge's remark: obedient
My remark: Probably rather mediocre work.

Circle left 20m rising trot, allowing the horse to stretch forward and downward, shorten the reins, working trot. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: more stretch out and down

I'm trusting that the stretching down and out will come with time. For now, he'd rather just ride flat with his nose out.

Medium walk, change rein, medium walk. Score: 5.5

Judge's remark: quick, above bit
My remark: Yeah. I'm just glad we didn't get a 4.

Change rein, free walk, medium walk. Score: 6

Judge's remark: more stretch over back for overtrack

Not shocking, our walk needs work. We're straight at least?

Working trot. Score: 7

Judge's remark: against hand

He was sticky and cranky at this point, but he was still playing the game which makes me happy.

Circle left 20 meters. Score: 5.5

Judge's remark: steadier contact for steadier rhythm

Our contact will be more consistent when we've got more miles off property. Right now everything is too exciting to stay in the contact.

Change rein. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: better

Oh so better. Look how cute he is.

Working canter, right lead. Score: 7

Judge's remark: None

Not so much tilt?

Circle right 20 meters. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: losing balance on second half, good start

This is the most awkward photo...

Working trot. Score: 7

Judge's remark: fairly obedient
My remark: Probably a lovely little plodding trot with some semblance of contact...

Down centerline, halt, salute. Score: 6.5

Judge's remark: shoulders right, haunches left

Crooked but not wiggling. GOOD BOY.

After my test this time, I walked once again toward the judge.

She called out, "Are you on the centerline?"
My mind fuzzy, I replied, "Sorry? What?"
"Are. You. On. The. Centerline?"
Oh..., "...."
"Stop right there. Okay. Now, are you on the centerline?"
"Yes?..."
"You're crooked. Every one of your halts has been crooked in both tests. You're giving up easy points. Work on that so you don't have to give them up next time."
"Oh. Okay. Thank you! Yeah, I knew they'd be a problem...we practice in a big open field in the middle of West Virginia, haha, but I'll work on them! Thank you!"

And then my thoughts are fuzzy because the sheer RELIEF at being done overwhelmed and took over.

We did the thing.

Collective Marks and Final Thoughts

Training 1 Collective Marks: 

Gaits: 6.5

Impulsion: 6.5 "desire to move forward" and "suppleness of the back" are underlined

Submission: 6.5 "acceptance of the bit" and "straightness" are underlined and she wrote "tilts in canter"

Rider's position and seat: 6.5 she wrote that I need better contact in outside reign for clear rhythm

Rider's correct and effective use of the aids: 6.5 "clarity, subtlety" are underlined

Further remarks: A reasonable test with a nice horse. Work on establishing steadier contact and lateral aids

I think everything noted is super fair. None of it surprises me at all. I know we have weaknesses with contact and I know those magnify when we're in new places with distractions. I expected comments on our contact more than anything else because I know it is the first thing to go out the window when Griffin has distractions around him. When the contact disappears, a lot of other things unravel which is to be expected. 

I think what I was happiest about with this test (and the second one, too) was that we nailed the correct leads for our canter. Second to wanting to stay in the ring, I really wanted to nail those leads. We succeeded at both of these things. YAY. Small goals, y'all...

Training 2 Collective Marks:

Gaits: 6.5 she wrote that we need more march in the walk

Impulsion: 6.5 "suppleness of the back" is underlined

Submission: 6 "acceptance of the bit" is underlined

Rider's position and seat: 6 she wrote that I need to stay seated over my leg

Rider's correct and effective use of the aids: 6 

Further remarks: Better ride.

Once again, nothing here surprises me greatly. That my leg was so much worse this test stings a bit, but c'est la vie. My nerves fried my brain and I can honestly say I wasn't focusing as hard on my position at ALL through much of this test. I was very preoccupied with getting the movements correct when I was supposed to that I really let everything else fly out the window. Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't call out my geometry on my last canter circle because if I recall correctly, it was atrocious!

Things I will be focusing on in coming weeks: consistency in the contact, straightness, FORWARD, keeping my position no matter how tired/mind-boggled I am, our walk, consistent rhythm in our trot, and a more upright canter in 20m circles. Each of these things is absolutely fixable and workable. They'll definitely be different when we're in a new venue vs. at home, but we'll work to improve them as much as we can while we are at home!

I know I have a lot to work on, but I think we did really well for where we are right now. I'm really proud of doing as well as we did considering I've had a whopping ONE dressage lesson (with Stephen Birchall) to get me to this point. Other than that lesson, all of our training has been guided through conversations with friends, books read, videos watched, etc. This horse and I are self made alone on a small farm in West Virginia. 

For all the lack of close-at-hand resources to help us, I honestly couldn't be prouder of where we are. This feedback helps give me more to focus on in the future. I have feel like every point above is something I can accomplish. I look forward to correcting these issues and finding new problems next time.

I'd like to end with a really special, heart-felt thank you to Austen and Emma for being there for me all day. Your posts were the original catalyst for helping me believe in myself; the way you told about horse showing/lessoning truly ignited the horse show flame for me. I'm so thankful for your continued help and support as I pursue dressage and eventing from afar. It isn't easy to get eyes on the ground very often where I live, but you two have been there to lend guidance and advice when I need it. Your words of encouragement in the weeks leading up to and the day of this show helped me more than you realize.

And so, I guess Griffin and I have added another item to our resume. I can't wait to get back out there and improve upon our baseline.

Whirlwind Weekend: Tire Woes, XC Schooling, & Polo

Prep

I brought Griffin home to my backyard a day before our planned departure for our first big weekend. This involved a bit of work on my part to prep (weed eat, sink T-posts, set hot tape insulators on posts, string hot tape, and setup fence charger), but was well worth it. The idea was that having him home would greatly expedite travel plans as I could simply wake up, put prepped items into the truck, load him, and be off in no time at all.

Griffin hadn't been alone like this before. Unsurprisingly, he did fret a bit, but he eventually settled.
I wondered/worried how his mental stress would affect our weekend though.

My ultimate plan of being on the road early thanks to having Grif at home was fulfilled Saturday AM. Despite Griffin slipping on the ramp and faceplanting hard when loading (no harm done!), he still clambered aboard, albeit shaking like a leaf due to the fall and we were able to head out on our 3+ hour drive around 7.

Travel

Because my trailer is still slated to have some hinge welding completed, I borrowed my welder-friend's trailer to stand in for the weekend. It's older than mine and much more in need of a paint job, but beyond that cosmetic issue, it's in great shape.

...except we got about 30 minutes down the road and this happened:

I should have taken a closer look at the tires it seems. Live and learn!

I was lucky that I happened to be only 30 minutes from home and only a few miles from the closest town. The road isn't heavily traveled, it was early morning, and I still had cell phone service. While the situation would inevitably delay me, not all was lost! I tried to count my blessings and stay calm, but my mind was super frazzled about the whole ordeal.

I dialed welder-friend to let him know I'd be coming to swap out trailers because I had noted one other questionable tire on his trailer. While I was talking with him, a good samaritan pulled up behind me to offer aid. As I filled in my friend on the phone, I waved a greeting to the young coal miner who was exiting his car with a big, sympathetic smile. Still on the phone listening to my friend wax and wane poetically about trailer issues, I nodded a "yes" at the smiling stranger's request to bring a jack to help (again, live, learn, make sure you have the proper tools packed at all times!) and continued discussing options re: trailer swap on the phone.

Eventually, I finished my phone conversation, donned a day-glo reflective vest (I was prepared in some ways...) and awaited the return of the coal miner and his tools. He arrived minutes later with a floor jack and associated tire changing tools often found in a mechanic's garage. He proceeded to quickly change my tire as we chatted about growing up in the area, horses, coal mining, and the act of being a good samaritan.

I thanked him profusely for his help when he finished, then set to the task of swapping out trailers.

As I drove back home, my mind was abuzz with paranoia about traveling and having something else go wrong. The mundane task of backing and parking one trailer and then hooking up the other helped calm me a bit, but ultimately my mind refused to settle.

Fortunately, throughout this entire ordeal, Griffin was a holy saint of a horse. I really don't know how I got so lucky to have a horse with such a solid brain. Before 10am he: faceplanted on the trailer and still loaded, stood patiently through a [very fast] tire change, suffered a small, minor puncture wound from the only possible object in the first trailer, and got off one trailer and onto another. Despite the numerous bumps in the road, he tried his hardest to do everything I asked.

When we finally got underway again, we were 2½ hours behind schedule. Thankfully, wewould have no more complications.

XC Schooling!

We arrived at Austen's barn around 1pmI settled Griffin in his stall as quickly as possible once we arrived. He seemed visibly relieved to be done with travel and in a somewhat familiar scene and promptly dug into his hay.

I sat in a chair by his stall decompressing from my own mental anguish about the trip as I awaited Austen and Jenny's arrival.

Once they appeared, we ate food, I had a beer, and we chatted for a bit. Or rather, they chatted and I mostly listened. My brain was still recovering from the morning's activities and couldn't quite handle forming thoughts and sentences yet. Oi vey.

Eventually, we set a game plan for getting Pig and Griffin prepped and loaded to head down the street to school some XC! It would be a first for both Griffin and I and I was So Excited.

PC: Austen

A short 15 minute drive brought us to the schooling area where we made quick work of tacking the horses and headed over to the field. Austen verbalized from the get-go that Grif and I would be the main focus and she and Pig would just be out there having some fun since they do have some past history with XC.

Jenny instructed us to head immediately over to the water complex and let the horses figure that out. She encouraged us to let them take their time, assuring that as soon as they figured it out it would quickly become a nonissue. Both Pig and Grif are barefoot and I honestly think the gravel around the water was more of an issue for them both than the actual water! And sure enough, both boys made their way into the water with little issue after a moment or two.

Off we go!
PC: Austen

After making sure the water was less of an issue, Jenny instructed us to warm up by trotting and cantering around the perimeter of the area to let them see the jumps. Austen and Pig quickly set about this task going one way while Griffin and I headed another.

Grif was very looky at first, but settled into a rhythm in no time. Despite usually being so game for jumping, I quickly found that Griffin was pretty damn sluggish!

I've only had Griffin off property alone like this once before - last summer for the Stephen Birchall clinic. He was very sluggish much of that weekend, which I blamed on the oppressive heat/humidity at that time. As I had a sample size of n=1, I couldn't draw conclusions from that weekend alone and chalked up his sluggish nature as a fluke. However, I'm realizing now that his slow behavior seems to be a product of being off property as he continued to have more whoa than go all weekend this go around, too! I've never felt the need to carry a whip with this horse at home, but I absolutely plan to when we travel in the future.

Receiving instruction on position
PC: Austen

Once warmed up, I trotted Grif to Jenny for further instruction.

She pointed out the different types of jumps and asked what I thought was the simplest to start with on a green-to-XC horse.

"Something with minimal contrast to the surrounding environment and that is also rather uniform in it's appearance and low to the ground," I replied, taking into account all of the things that have ever caused Q or Griffin to spook. Jenny confirmed my answer and then proceeded to point out the first two obstacles we would focus on: a plain log on the ground and a hanging log with a little more height.

Further instructional conversations
PC: Austen

Griffin and I set off and tackled both jumps a time or two with some instruction from Jenny throughout about my position and how I should modify it for XC: two point with a very solid lower leg, a more upright upper body, and elbows bent at my sides. She instructed that the idea was to keep myself off of the horse's back so he could rise up to me as we moved/jumped.

This instruction confirmed a lot of my observations/readings. I did my best to fulfill it, but I definitely need to build some strength back and get my bum right ankle (thanks, mountain biking!) healed so I can properly bend it to lower my heel.

Griffin balked a little as we approached those first two jumps but still jumped them without stopping. After our first go at each, things got smoother.

Once confirmed with those two jumps, Jenny instructed me to jump them in succession, then go up and down a little hill constructed at a bank complex (but not jumping the actual banks yet) and then wrap around and jump another hotdog log.

We did this with relative ease, Griffin once again sucking back before jumping over the new-to-us jump at the end.

From here, we looped around and practiced over a slightly larger and more natural looking log (bark still on it vs. the telephone pole look of the others).  Griffin had zero problem with this as we've played around in the woods jumping downed trees a bit over the years.

PHOTO BIG LOG

With success at several jumps and our confidence and comfort built up, Jenny set us to practicing up and down banks.

My mind was a bit hesitant about the up, but it rode smoothly enough. Jenny assured that horses find the down banks pretty natural and that I shouldn't have much of an issue with them either. Because I have tackled things like that on trail plenty of times before, they rode even easier than the up bank and we quickly advanced to the larger of the three down bank options on the complex we were practicing on.

Wee! Griffin and I tackling the larger of the two "easy" down banks.
PC: Austen

As Jenny began setting us up with some jumps before/after the banks, I called for a timeout and struck off across the field to the woodline to pluck a switch off a tree.

The jumping was easy. What I was having a hard time with was the fact that Griffin was SO sluggish. He simply wasn't showing up for the work the way he usually does at home! All parties agreed I should absolutely carry a whip with him in the future. (I had small blunt spurs on but those were also making minimal difference.)

Once I had a whip, Griffin showed up and started actually working and staying more in front of my leg. (Though I need to add for myself that while improved he was still not as forward as he is at home.)

We practiced over a small ditch, too, just for the sake of Doing All The Things.

A little more certain over the ditch
PC: Jenny

Griffin was more uncertain about the ditch than anything else, but so was I! I know how attuned he is to my hesitations so I'm sure I am to blame somewhat for his hesitation. He never stopped, but he did give it a very good look before bouncing over it the first two times. The third was much smoother.

Once we conquered the ditch, Jenny asked me if anything "scared" me. I looked around at some of the larger jumps and mentally noted that none really "scared" me, but I didn't think Griffin would be capable of them at this point. I shrugged, turned back to Jenny and said, "Eh. What do you think we should do?" She pointed out a larger hotdog jump, noting how approachable and well it should jump and we tackled that a few times.

Tackling the bigger hotdog like NBD
PC: Jenny

We called it a day after the larger hotdog and I took Griffin to the water one final time before leaving to walk around. He drank a little and spent awhile walking hither and thither smelling the water. I eventually had to boot him out of it because he was not interested in leaving!

PC: Austen

On the whole, I think it was a really successful first outing. XC is every bit as fun as I always imagined it would be. I think a time or two more over jumps such as those and Griffin will be happier and more enthusiastic about it, too. He knew the answer to the jumping question, but the jumps were so different in appearance from our current normal that I'm not sure he put everything together as "wee fun" like he typically does when we jump.

Jenny's commentary and coaching was wonderful to have and I gleaned a lot of insight from her teachings. I'm so grateful she was willing to head out and help us for the afternoon!

The biggest positive takeaway for the day was how honest Griffin was about everything. When we jumped in an arena during our last visit to DC, he had some refusals. I think the color of the jumps played a large role in that and made a point of incorporating some bright orange into our home setup.

Ever since, Griffin has been more than reliable at home. I have complete trust in him when we jump at home. In fact, this XC outing was the first I've jumped with a saddle in over a month! We've been exclusively schooling in the bareback pad at home over 2'6" and 2'9" for awhile now. This has taught me that I won't fall off when we jump a 2'9" oxer from a near-standstill! While that moment was a Major Oops, it taught me that I really have nothing to fear so far as staying mounted through some less-than-perfect jumps.

Our main issues during our first XC schooling were:

• Griffin's sluggishness, 
• my current positional weaknesses, and 
• my total lack of being able to see a distance. 

The first two items are totally fixable in a short amount of time. Heat conditioning isn't easy, but we can focus on it when we have the weather to do so. (We're from an area much higher in elevation with temperatures that are regularly 10-15°F cooler than the DC area.) My position will get better as soon as I can get back to my workout routine.

The third item is trickier to improve upon without more knowledgeable eyes on the ground to help us. However, I can absolutely start measuring distances from jumps and placing poles to train my eye better. I plan to do this as soon as I have Grif settled in his new home.

We're getting there! I think we did great considering we'd never tackled something quite like this before. And most importantly, I know what to focus on moving forward. 😀

Polo

We left the XC schooling area and headed back to the barn where we quickly got ready for the polo match we would be watching.

I was surprised to find Emma at the barn when we returned! I had left my phone in my truck throughout the entire XC schooling and totally missed messages Emma had sent about rendezvousing with us. Sorry, girl!

Austen and I changed clothes and our group of 5 rolled out of her barn and down the road 15 minutes to the site of the polo match.

I have copious polo photos, but I shan't bore you with all of them.

I've always wanted to watch polo and was pretty psyched for this outing.

I tried to pay attention to the announcer and the game, but ultimately just ended up conversing with our little group about all things life and horses.

Shenanigans were had:

PC: Austen

The polo match continued. And a good time was had by all.

Eventually we packed it up and headed down the road for home.

The accumulation of morning travel stress, time spent in the sun, and a long day of horse-related fun had me totally and completely beat. I was excited about the dressage show, but not too excited to sleep. I crashed hard once we were home, wishing I could have about 3 extra hours in the night to sleep before our early morning the next day.

Stay tuned for the run down of our first dressage show!

A Weekend of Firsts

Wow. WHAT a whirlwind of a weekend!

I've got a lot of media to sort through before I can give proper recaps on the goings-on, but suffice to say it was a GOOD weekend.

Many first time experiences were checked off the list:

First shredded trailer tire:

First XC schooling:

First polo match:

First dressage schooling show:

First satin:

Yes, a very good weekend indeed.

Hopefully I can sort through the media in a reasonable time (20+ GB of photos and numerous videos). Tune back in later this week to hear all about our first official foray into a world of new disciplines.

Finding Balance: A Griffin Update

We're ~10 days out from our first dressage show. It is both very exciting and very intimidating!

Our recent work feels really good though. Grif is giving me his best each time we ride. Perhaps not the whole ride, but pieces of each ride display really wonderful moments.

When I look back on our first work that was loosely dressage-focused two years ago and compare it to now, the differences in Griffin are striking:

He is so much more balanced through his body, steadier in the contact, and working through his hind end more than he once did. Funny what a little bit of time and focused effort will do.

I was honestly surprised watching the video after this little workout. I knew he felt better and his transitions were relatively fluid and he was steadier in the contact than in the past. But despite knowing those things, some part of me just figured I was inflating the good feelings to be bigger than the reality.

Trotting...

Cantering...

But then I watched the video. My jaw didn't drop in total shock, but my brain did stall out for a few moments as I watched Griffin's movement. He was so much more solid and balanced than I ever fathomed! And while my position absolutely needs work, I was also surprised at my own riding. We looked like a pretty good little team.

Walking...

And more trotting...

I've discussed the video this post's media revolves around with Austen to glean pointers and homework. We've been focusing on those things since and I definitely feel improvements in the short time since.

Down transitions...

Up transitions...

I don't know that we're ready for the show. But I don't know that we're not ready either.

See, I'm an endurance rider first. My background is all in conditioning for endurance. Feeling "ready" for an endurance ride meant that I was confident my horse could complete the distance with plenty of "go" left in the tank at the end.

Dressage - especially at the level we are pursuing - definitely isn't the same as endurance! Griffin doesn't need to be in the absolute most peak condition. He needs to be attentive and have a good mind that is ready to work; he needs to be responsive to the aids when I use them; he needs to be able to maintain a steady rhythm within each gait; he needs to show some semblance of bend in his circles; he needs to demonstrate straightness; his transitions should be calm.

When I rearrange my thought process to check in with each of the above points, Griffin is very close to achieving all of those things right now. So, uh, I guess we're ready?

And even walk to canter departs sometimes....

The biggest wild card with our entry into the world of showing is simply the time and miles that come with travel.

Grif has traveled very little so far in his career. He's been to a small local show, a few endurance rides, and one dressage clinic. As with most horses, when you plop them down in the center of a formerly-unknown environment, he's a bit frazzled! Things that aren't scary at home are scary at the new place, horses he doesn't know he MUST talk to and try to make friends with, and the general hustle and bustle around him garners more of his attention than he'll give to me.

None of these things are surprising and none are too crazy. They're very typical of a horse who has spent most of his time working from home.

And so, knowing Griffin won't be the horse he is at home, I have very low expectations for the actual show.

Counter canter may unintentionally debut in our tests...

I'm confident he has the pieces needed to succeed, but I have no idea if he'll be able to be present when the judge is watching to put those pieces together when I ask.

And you know what? That's okay. We've got to start somewhere. It probably won't be pretty at first, but if I ever want to achieve my goals, we have to get out there and give it our best. I know from experience with Q at endurance rides that it WILL get better. Time and miles (both literally and figuratively) fix most problems.

And he's capable of a flying change...now to do it on purpose?

I participated in 4-H shows as a kid, but this will be the first show show of my life. And while I'm nervous, I'm also really, really excited to debut my little mystery horse of questionable breeding next weekend.

Grif, let's just strive to stay inside the sandbox - anything else is gravy. Can you handle that?

Journey as a Rider

As I have recently done for Q and Stan, I intend to also write a specific post about Griffin and where we're at with things. But then Emma had to go and pose questions that really got me thinking. So, sorry, Grif, but I'mma write this out first.

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Do you define yourself as a rider by your goals or ambitions? Are they inextricably linked to your specific horse? Or maybe instead, your preferred means of deriving enjoyment are defined by the horse you have currently? 

I'm a rider first and foremost because I love horses, being around them, training them, caring for them, and everything in between, good and bad. Horses scratch an itch that none of my other hobbies can. I can't explain it better than that. Secondary to this love, however, are goals and ambitions. I'd say that most simply, these goals and ambitions are to be the best I can be while helping my horses to be the best they can be.

The life of owning, riding, and competing three horses of my own wasn't what I envisioned for my journey with horses. However, it is where I AM. And in an effort to live fully in the present moment and make the best of it, I'm doing all I can to help each horse find success within jobs they enjoy that I also enjoy. I include the caveat, "that I also enjoy" because there are a few disciplines I have zero desire to ever dabble in. Fortunately, those are so few that I shouldn't have a problem finding other fun things to occupy my time (and money)! It is also fortunate that each of the horses I have right now is athletic and capable of pursuing many disciplines.

The first lesson pony: Rocky. Also, there are horses all along the bottom of my t-shirt. Obsessed

From the moment I sat on a horse, I wanted to do more than walk. For a time, after a bad first fall, the canter scared me, but once I moved past that I wanted to canter lots. I wouldn't necessarily say, "I wanna go fast" because I don't have much desire to gallop hither and thither, but I DO like feeling like I'm going somewhere and doing something. While I always dreamed of jumping, the opportunities to do that in my area were slim growing up (and now, too). Trails were easy to come by though! Before I ever knew endurance riding was a thing, I spent hours out on trails every week trotting and cantering up and down mountains, through creeks and rivers wherever I could find to go. So it's no surprise endurance makes me happy. And now that I'm coming to a point in my life that I have the time and the means to travel to event, I'm finally pursuing that, also.

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Have you had to make decisions about buying or selling a horse based on its suitability for your goals or purposes?

Orion. The first horse I owned for 5 months in 2011.

Horses that I've spent time with in life have largely come to me through serendipitous events. I borrowed horses growing up and didn't own one until 2011. That horse, documented shortly during the beginning of my blogging time, was a crash-course in Conformation 101 for me. He was NOT suited for anything I really wanted to do (endurance or some sort of jumping) and ultimately I sold him because I didn't want to spend time and money on a horse that I couldn't pursue what I loved most with.

Yep, hard to believe that's Griffin nearly 5½ years ago. 

Griffin came along a few months after I sold my first horse. He was an ugly little 18 month old intended to be a learning project for me for groundwork. I took him on in order to learn something and maybe keep him. I learned a ton, decided to keep him, and we continue to learn together. Fortunately, his "ugly" was only a phase and he grew into a really nice critter with the best personality ever. He loves jumping the most, puts up with dressage, enjoys the trail, and is very "gamey" in the way that cutting horses are when allowed to chase/herd dogs. As chronicled on the blog, we've pursued jumping, dressage, and trails so far. I hope to put him on cattle and see if he'll work a cow some day, too.

The second morning with Q the weekend I met her. I was leaning heavily toward buying her.

Q is the only horse I have intentionally purchased with some semblance of a plan to do so. I knew I needed a "riding project" in addition to Griffin as a "groundwork project". I'd been hunting for Arabians for a month or two online. I'd found one mare in Kentucky at an Arabian re-homing facility that I really, really liked, but I was too hesitant about the financial burden of two horses to bite the bullet on her (ultimately, the guy in charge of that place kept her for himself because she's so nice). When my riding club went to a horsemanship and trail ride clinic, the cowboy had Q and was looking to get rid of "that crazy psycho". She was super comfortable to ride, jumped neater than any horse I'd ridden prior, and had the build/breeding to stand a chance competing in endurance. I adored everything about her after 2½ days with her and the rest is history.

4 year old Stanley!

Stan, with whom I spent many years during HS and college with, fell into my lap last summer when his owners decided to "get out of horses". I always knew this would happen at some point and had no hesitation telling them I'd take him. He's an athletic horse that, to this day, hates working in arenas and loves being on trail. While I plan to do an LD with him in about 6 weeks, I don't know that I will continue to pursue endurance with him after that. It will largely depend on how difficult it is to manage him metabolically as I really don't have a great desire to micromanage that aspect of endurance much more than I have in the past. I don't feel the need to compete Stan to feel fulfilled.

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Do you feel like there's something bigger out there, something more overarching in your own journey as a rider, independent of the horses that may come in and out of your life? Or maybe you feel the opposite - that it's less about striving forever for something, and more about enjoying each good moment as it comes?

I try to enjoy the good moments as they're presented. Have a horse that likes trails? Pursue trails and endurance. Have a horse that likes jumping? Pursue that. Have a jack of all trades? Do it all!

That being said, I am a competitive person and do enjoy working toward goals. As my horses have expressed their opinions on favorite jobs, I have stretched us both forward to see how far we can go within those jobs. I enter with cautious optimism about achieving what starts as an easy goal and move upward from there if success is found. I don't believe that I must achieve a certain level within endurance or eventing to feel fulfilled/successful. I will pursue the sports within my horse's realm of ability and enjoy every moment along the way.

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Have your opinions or thoughts on this matter had to change over time due to different circumstances? Or maybe you've never actually thought particularly deeply about it at all? 

I hadn't thought deeply about it until these questions. 😉 But now that I am... yes, my thoughts and opinions have changed over time as life has presented options to me.

Once I learned it was a thing, I wanted to do endurance. I didn't know at what distance though and was honestly intimidated about each longer distance until I became confirmed at the one below it. Q succeeded at LDs, so we tried 50s. She succeeded at 50s, so we did a 100. I'd still like to do more of that if she still wants to tackle it. If/when she doesn't want to, I absolutely WILL one day find another horse who wants to. I'd love to be able to pursue more 100-mile rides and participate in 3 to 5 endurance rides per year. I have zero desire to win any ride, but have every desire to complete the rides with a sound, happy horse.

Griffin loves jumping and doesn't mind our dressage work. I'm pursuing eventing and fulfilling a childhood dream to jump and go fast in the process. We're also pursuing dressage because as an adult I am fascinated by it and see huge value in it for myself and the horse. If my summer competitions at the elementary division go well, I'd like to pursue beginner novice in the fall. (We regularly school 2'6" and 2'9" at home, so if I can get our dressage to a good point, BN seems more than achievable.) If BN goes well, I will absolutely dabble at higher levels within eventing as long as I feel comfortable and the horse can handle the questions.