- 1. Go on a drier day: while the rocks weren’t huge and the consequence of falling wasn’t anything extra (no drops, cliffs, etc.), it’d give me more ease of mind to travel on a day when there was more friction and less chance of gravity having its way with me.
- 2. Choose a time when the nettles aren’t up or are past stinging or have been cut back: I’ve ridden through patches of nettles many, many times through the years. Never have I noticed my horses have any care about them. Horton has about 1.3 miles of nettles though. When Q asked to trot on the ascent, I thought she was just eager to go down the trail - uncommon, but something she has and will do. However, when she did it on the descent, I realized it was because she was very bothered by the nettles! Ugh! Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to be done about it other than just powering through. I let her pause in each creek crossing for a good scratch (nettles make me itch something fierce) and we marched powerfully toward the trailer. Once we were out of the nettles, she had another long scratch and settled. By the time we reached the trailer (where she was stuffed with treats and grain), she was totally relaxed and fine. Not the best thing to have happened, but certainly not the worst either! Lesson very much learned.
Thursday, July 10, 2025
Horton Trail
Friday, May 30, 2025
Spring Greens and Second Chances
For my first trailer-out ride of the year, I chose to take Q. She's my tried-and-true professional. All three horses are, really. But Q is the cream of the crop about it all. Countless endurance rides and training miles will do that to a horse.
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Having upgraded to a huge truck and and a 3-horse trailer is such a great change. My nerves hauling are all but absent these days. |
It's crazy to think now, but a few months ago I had decided I was going to rehome this little mare. We've never gotten along perfectly. She's great for everyone, but she and I always seemed to butt heads. It's a big reason why I straight up quit riding her last year. It was far easier on both of us to just let her play tag-along instead of riding pony.
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Happy girls who loaded themselves into the truck while I fetched Q |
She built a lot of confidence during that time without me astride her back. And I enjoyed watching her be her. Watching her build confidence in herself and her surroundings. I also enjoyed recentering myself without also balancing Q's emotional status.
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Spring greens |
I'd gone so far as to reach out to both Austen and Jen to let them know I was ready to rehome Q if they happened to know anyone. Austen knows and loves the mare and has always been a great advocate for Q. Jen - who helped me rehome a friend's horse last year - understood where my headspace was with it all coupled with the desire to find Q a good fit like we did with Ivan last year.
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The happiest dogs |
After I'd made the decision and shared it, my partner made a compelling argument for me to keep Q. Grateful for his advocation, and in a good faith effort to give it One More Go, I decided to put a ride or three on Q and see how things went. It'd be the litmus test for whether she stayed or went.
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It was nice to see the river with short vegetation |
Long story short, every ride has been just lovely. Q and I have turned over a new leaf together. She didn't spook a single time on our entire 10-mile outing 2 weeks ago. In fact, when I dismounted at the end to pick up a heaping load of trash some redneck assholes left in the woods and wheel it out in the wagon they also left, she gave me a "WTF, woman?!" look, but was otherwise completely unbothered as I hauled the wagon down the trail in one hand while she was on lead in the other. (I did not take the wagon full of a cooler and plates and containers of food with me for the ½-mile journey down the road to the trailer, but instead left it alongside the road to hopefully be retrieved by some other good Samaritan to take to the dump. I hate inconsiderate assholes.)
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The mosaic of greens in the spring is simply my favorite |
More excited than I've been in ages to spend more time with this little mare! And very grateful for my partner's encouragement to keep her.
Thursday, April 3, 2025
March Highlights Reel
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Started off the month with a trip for provisions in the city, which always includes a stop to our favorite sushi spot. |
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The stresses of *gestures widely* everything lately was getting me down. So these ladies recommended a cold plunge to set my head straight. |
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I've been plunging in the river at least once a month every month for five years now. It clears my head and calms my body like nothing else. |
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I had a fantastic ski morning with my orthodontist-turned-friend. We absolutely ripped. It was so fun. |
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Gidget got a shrew. She was so overjoyed. |
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My little odd couple. |
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Utter absurdity. I'm glad they enjoy each other so much though! |
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A different night. Taiga was using Gidget as a pillow. |
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Long evening shadows. |
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I got in a lot of miles earlier this month! |
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And another dip. |
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My last ski day at Timberline this season. It was beautiful! |
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More miles on this happy little mare. |
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Sweaty and oh-so-dirty, but adorable all the same. |
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Also sweaty and dirty, but cute post-ride. He'll be 24 on April 7 and is sassier than ever. It's almost annoying how sassy he is lately! |
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This absolutely ridiculous cat. I swear. I was holding her and petting her. She's SO relaxed and happy to get love. Those are her hind legs all akimbo as she sits cradled on her back in my lap. |
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Reading with Poppy. |
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I was building new flower beds and using cardboard to line them. Poppy decided to keep me company while I worked. |
Wednesday, March 26, 2025
Finding My Riding Rhythm Again
Thank you to everyone for the support lent on my last post. I appreciated your kind words and feeling less alone with my fears and frustrations. 💚
Now, as promised, onward to lighter writing material!
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I stepped away from endurance in 2019 after a "comeback" 50-mile ride with Q at Biltmore. If you recall, she'd had a suspensory injury late-summer in 2016. That injury was caused, by all things, from something she did during turnout and not from competition. Horses, I swear.
After giving her ample time off, I brought her back and completed the 50 at Biltmore in 2019. But it wasn't without stress. The vet checks nerve-wracking due to her inconsistent NQR gait. The anxiety was enough for me to walk away from competition. I was never in endurance for the competition, after all. I was in it for the miles of trail and beautiful scenery. And I could do that just fine on my own time!
I clocked my biggest mileage year ever in 2020 with 604 annual ridden miles thanks to the pandemic lock-down. That was 50 miles more than my best endurance season—without a single competition. It was a personal proof point that I didn’t need the structure of events to enjoy my horses. And honestly, that felt really good.
But in 2021, my annual mileage dropped by half. By 2022 through 2024, it was down to a third of what it once was, as life’s other priorities took over. This year, though? This year I'm determined to get back to a more "normal" annual mileage.
I try my best to set achievable goals every year. Something challenging, but realistic. As such, it seems reasonable to work toward an annual mileage goal of 350. That’s my historical non-competition average, which is surprisingly modest for someone who spent years in endurance. But it worked when factoring in Q’s half-Arabian breeding, competition rides doubling as conditioning, and her 24/7 turnout on 20 acres.
Truth be told, riding more than this amount is challenging for me - unless there's a pandemic lockdown apparently! As much as I love horses and riding, I also have other passions: skiing, hiking, mountain biking, photography, and rock climbing to name a few. Balancing them all is a dance that shifts year to year.
Even during my lower-mileage years, I had a gut feeling that my desire to ride more would return. And now, I can honestly say I’m excited about this goal - more excited than I’ve been about a riding goal in years.
To reach it, I plan to revisit trails I’ve only explored briefly in the past. They may not have the dramatic views of some others I’ve shared, but they offer gentler footing and plenty of shade - perfect for summer rides. And, of course, I’ll be sharing those adventures here. Something to look forward to!
Thursday, March 13, 2025
From Burnout to Fulfillment—And the Fear of Losing It
I've had a blank post sitting open in a tab on my computer for weeks now. Maintaining a new routine requires consistency, and not posting is not conducive to keeping up the habit of blogging.
But honestly, I haven’t had the headspace to write. Just staying afloat these past two months has been enough. I’ve been holding onto the routines that keep me sane—eating well, staying active, journaling—but beyond that, it's been hard to pursue more.
For context, I'm a Federal employee. This June, I'll have 14 years with my agency. I've steadily climbed the ranks in this time, and last fall I finally shifted to a new division. This shift took me from a program with the highest burnout to a program that is unofficially dubbed "Division of Unicorns and Rainbows" because it is such an incredible place to work. (I didn't know that the program had that moniker until my second week on the job, but I love it. And I agree.)
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February 2024, examining a banded Virginia big-eared bat during the biannual population census on a rare (for me) fieldwork day |
I've worked hard to help the public during my career. I was the most senior staffer in my old office for the past 5 years. During that time, I helped to streamline and expedite review timeframes for 76% of the workload we received. That's a significant help to the public, y'all! This freed up staff to focus fully on complex projects and critical conservation efforts. It was thankless work, but I could see a difference from what I did. And that was worth it.
In my new role, I'm a part of a small national team who helps conserve land across the country through grants. It's so much more feel-good than my past position. My new position also plays to all of my strengths: I get to coordinate and organize and find efficiencies across the country to help implement our work more smooth and expeditiously for the betterment of the environment and people (you, dear reader) who enjoy it. I love it. And that’s high praise from someone who burned out twice and once doubted they could ever truly love work again!
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A cluster of endangered Virginia big-eared bats |
That’s why the past eight weeks have been brutal. Being labeled "waste" and "low productivity" while the systems I’ve worked in for over a decade are upended has been gut-wrenching. Seeing a fourth of my former colleagues—high-performing, award-winning staff—illegally fired, while others resign due to the changing circumstances, is devastating.
For weeks, my colleagues and I endured blow after blow—countless executive orders and a flood of [frankly insulting, and quite troll-y] emails from an entity outside our chain of command. Anxiety is sky-high, even among the steadiest of us. Seeing colleagues that have always been absolute ROCKS to lean on through stress become balls of anxiety is wildly unnerving to observe. We've had a brief reprieve from direct attacks, but with RIF plans due tomorrow, we’re bracing for more losses—maybe even our own jobs. Uncertainty is the devil.
For me, it's made more painful as I worry about losing this new role that I adore and worked my ass off to earn. Not kidding—of 200 applicants for this position, I earned it.
And look, I understand frustration with government inefficiency. I know fraud and waste exist and should be addressed. But gutting institutional knowledge and forcing out dedicated career employees won’t solve the problem—it will only make it worse. Traumatizing those people is also immoral and shameful.
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Entering and exiting this cave for the bat census involves a 155-foot rappel (and subsequent rope climb) |
I’ll step off my soapbox now and focus on getting back into my renewed blogging routine. With spring here, it’s the perfect time for new adventures. But before shifting to lighter topics, I felt it was important to acknowledge how deeply this period has affected my life. Thank you for reading and lending me (and other Federal workers) grace during this challenging time.
Wednesday, January 29, 2025
The Animals
The question you're all asking: How are the animals?!
The TLDR; they're great!
Now for a longer breakdown, we'll go oldest to youngest.
Stanley
Stan will be 24 at the beginning of April and he's doing fantastic. He's fit and happy, though keeping him plump takes a little more work these days as he struggles with his aging teeth. He's down one molar, which gives him a little grief, but nothing too challenging yet! He still plays with Griffin every day and often one-ups Grif.
While Q loves to be groomed and have attention, Stan is my cuddle bug. He wants to be in my pocket quite often when I'm out doing chores. His favorite thing is to just rest his muzzle on my head/cheek/crook of neck and snuffle me. He's just such a sweet spirit to be around and spend time with.
Thanks to the addition of the three horse trailer, Stan went on oodles of rides last year. Often he's a horse I put others on, but I did ride him a fair bit to remind him that he should listen to his rider as opposed to moving like molasses on his own time. We even did a solo outing or two to do trail work on the Nat'l Forest as a part of our Backcountry Horseman of America group (I'm VP).
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Watching as we clear obstructions on the trail |
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A very remote waterfall on Seneca Creek |
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Bringing up the rear on a big trail work day |
Q
Q is somewhere in the ball park of 19 this year. She's doing wonderfully and is my easiest keeper by far. Of all my horses, she was ridden the least last year. She attended every ride the boys went on, but was free to plod along at her own leisure. Once, we used her as a pack horse, which she seemed to enjoy.
Q and I have always had a challenging relationship. I enjoy her thoroughly from the ground, but our personalities tend to butt heads once I'm in the saddle. So I decided last January that I was done pushing it. If I felt compelled to ride her, I would, but otherwise I was just going to let her be. She's an angel for others to ride (moreso than Stanley, tbh), and she's super happy to join us at liberty.
Letting Q be Q at liberty on our outings was probably the best thing for her! Her confidence BLOOMED. She went from always following the boys to leading the pack as soon as we moved into a trot or canter. If the terrain was wide open, she'd opt to select her own path and gallivant off on her own for up to a quarter mile (these instances only occur in places with a long line-of-sight; Q loves her geldings and will not go out of sight, which makes her the perfect horse to let be at liberty on rides like this). It was really lovely to see her confidence build so much!
I did take her out on one solo ride in October, and she was great. But she still very much looks for monsters every second when she's solo under saddle. It's exhausting for me to hold constant space for her when she's like that. So while our one ride was great, I'm perfectly happy to just let her be her and be a horse for others to ride or be a packhorse.
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The one big solo ride we did together on a remote rail trail in October |
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Wild and free on a trail ride |
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Picking her way through the Sods with a talented young rider who knows when to let Q do her thing |
Griffin
Grif is 14. I don't know where the time went, but here we are. He's doing just as wonderfully as the others. He continues to be the horse I ride the most often because of the three, he's the horse who just enjoys work. He's the horse that wants to see what's up ahead and gives so much try when I happen to do flat work in lieu of trails. He's the perfect adventure partner as long as you don't ask him to cross any bridges; he is terrified of them!
After an unfortunate bridge experience this past autumn, I'm afraid Grif feels more confirmed in that feeling of fear than ever. I dismounted to lead him across a bridge (he's happy to be led or follow another horse) and he slipped on the damp wood and could never get up off his knees the entire crossing (railings kept him from going anywhere but forward). It was super nerve wracking for him and for me, but neither of us were seriously injured from it. And lest you think that bridge was super awful and I shouldn't have led him across, little miss mare walked right across it with nary a slip immediately after.
Grif has proven his worth time over time these past two years with BCHA trail work days. I can trim small branches from his back and hammer trail markers onto trees without dismounting. it's so lovely!
The only other notable update I know y'all will enjoy about Grif is that I dyed his mane and tail a few times last summer for some photoshoots. The dye came out naturally (even with little to no rainfall) within two weeks. It was a fun and whimsical thing to do.
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Canaan Valley and shrubby St. Johns wort in bloom |
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Along the Allegheny Trail |
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Being a magical unicorn for my coworker's kid |
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And with Kate -- had to include a shot of that magnificent purple tail |
Kenai
I suspect many already know this if you follow me on Instagram (@appalchianfirefly), but I let Kenai go at the end of March 2023. He was 13. He's the first of my animals I've had to let go and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was wrecked for the weeks leading up to it and months after. All of his adventures and knee surgeries caught up to him and his hind end just didn't last as long as his spirit.
He was on 18 pills of various pain medications every day in the end. We ran his bloodwork constantly to make sure he was doing okay with each change to his pain management regiment. The moment his bloodwork values started to decline, we started making plans for the end.
On his final night, he enjoyed a steak. On his final day, he and I took a long solo drive to the Sinks of Gandy for a final short hike in the last remaining snow. I drove us through McDonalds and got him a 20 piece McNugget and basket of fries before we went to the vet. We sat in the parking lot where I fed him all of it as we waited on the vet to come out.
And in the end, he didn't want to go. He fought that sedative hard. So hard. It gutted me then and it guts me now to remember. I hate that his body failed him before his spirit was ready. And I don't blame him for fighting so hard to stay at the end. He had one hell of a life. He went on so many adventures and met so many people. Remembering the story of his life by the people we met through it is my favorite way to measure the time we had together. It was so rich and full. My 20s were an incredible chapter and I'm so glad he was the one I shared it all with.
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The squirmiest puppy |
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Young Kenai |
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One of our many sunset snow walks |
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Kenai March 5, 2010 - March 29, 2023 |
Taiga
Taiga is 7 now. She's so easy going and continues to be the quietest husky ever. It's kind of remarkable how little noise she makes!
She doesn't push the envelope like Kenai did and is content to just hang around the yard without a fence or collar. While she loves getting out for miles and adventures, she's also the happiest house husky.
I honestly don't have a lot to share or say about her because she's just such an easy little soul.
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Perfect little queen |
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Enjoying the view while the humans eat lunch |
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Impatient with the leash, but being a good girl on this long slabby slog up Mt. Colden |
Gidget
And now for her formal introduction to the blogosphere, meet Gidget!
Gidget is a one year old corgi (Cardigan x Pembroke). She's an absolute doll baby and as bossy as can be, which I'm learning is just a corgi trait. She's remarkably durable, fast, and has surprising endurance. She's happiest with hikes/rides of 8-10 miles (the rides are easy-going and nothing like my endurance training rides of past). Her biggest hike to date that she did entirely on her four little paws was 16+ miles with 3400' of elevation gain in the Adirondack High Peaks.
She has a backpack and doggles and has enjoyed motorcycle rides on the many miles of Forest Service roads in addition to a little bit of bicycling and one ski venture. She expressed a strong opinion about being in the backpack for the ski venture though, so after one downhill run in the pack, she was permitted to just run downhill on her stubby little legs. Which, despite snow that was 3 times as deep as she is tall at the highest point of her ears, she proved she can keep up just fine! Following skiers downhill kicks her herding instinct into hyperdrive more than anything else. I feel a little sorry that it stresses her out so much, but her little noises of frustration are adorable.
Compared to silent Taiga, Gidget is a chatterbox. She speaks up when anything is "wrong", barks once to ask to come inside, and has a whole gamut of grumbles, whisper barks, and ow-wo-wows that she uses to communicate. It's honestly adorable.
She's been the most delightful addition. I'm excited to share adventures with her!
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Yes, her ears are bigger than Taiga's |
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10 or 11 weeks old here |
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Happy smiley girl |