23 things

A friend of mine pulled this together and I thought it was so insightful and quite brilliant, so I’ve decided to do one of my own. I’ve got 2 more months of 23. It may not be a very significant age (you can already drink legally, but you still can’t rent a car on the cheap), but it’s been a really awesome year for me [so far].

23 things I’ve learned at 23

1. Pick your battles – There are a lot of times it would be easy to throw in your two-cents that may agree or disagree with another’s point. Sometimes it’s not worth it to push things. Smile, accept things, and let life move on. Why cause grief over nothing?
2. Keep your mouth closed – This goes in part with 1. above; it’s not always best to add everything you have to say. Sometimes it’s better to listen, sometimes it’s better to just let conversation keep happening without stalling on a subject, sometimes the moment is not about you – accept it.
3. Go with the flow – Not always the easiest thing, but once you can accept things around you as they are you can do your best to make the absolute best out of situations; you will be happier for it.
4. Sleep ≠ thinking – Going to sleep is going to sleep, it is not lying in bed waiting to fall asleep and fretting about everything that did, could, might, may have happened.
5. Everything falls into place – Seriously. Everything is going to be okay.
6. Don’t worry about things you can’t control – Just don’t. It’s a waste of time that could be spent doing fun, happy things.
7. Distance is nothing – Friends move to follow dreams and goals. Friendships do not end due to this. True friends keep up with each other via snail mail, email, Skype, and various other messaging programs. They find a way to cheer you up on rough days from states, coastlines, and oceans away.
8. Be Yourself – It’s easier. And you will be happier for it.    
9. Don’t micromanage life – You can’t control it all, and you’re not psychic, so stop planning every detail.
10. Everything gets better – It really does. And you’re going to be okay. It just takes time (and yes, sometimes time SUCKS).
11. Bad days just happen – Refer to 6. Sometimes you can’t control things (traffic, technology failures, etc.). Don’t freak out about it. Make the most of it, laugh at yourself because you can’t do a thing to change things sometimes.
12. Time management isn’t easy – Seriously, can there be a day between Saturday and Sunday?
13. Budgets suck – Truly, they do. But they are a necessary evil.
14. You can’t do everything – Not on your own anyway.
15. Rejection isn’t so bad – It’s just a stepping stone to something better.
16. Be the bigger person – This is hard and it sucks to do, but its necessary. Sometimes you have to suck up your pride and be the bigger person. It will salvage friendships and prevent undue drama.
17. Drama is not necessary – This isn’t middle school any more folks. Stop your nonsense.
18. Worse things have happened to better people – Really. They have! A friend told me this after my dog destroyed something of hers and I felt so, so bad about it. It ended up being a really easy fix and I learned a lot from the experience. What you’re going through is likely not the end of the world. Things could be a lot worse.
19. Say “No” – If you don’t people are going to walk all over you and take advantage of you. Additionally, you’ll run yourself into the ground trying to accomplish all of your tasks and obligations.
20. Being alone is not a bad thing – It’s a wonderful thing. I hope everyone can find comfort with it.
21. Appreciate what you have and who you are – You’re pretty lucky. Think about it.
22. Have faith in yourself – You’re capable of anything.
23. Be present – Focus on the NOW. Don’t dwell on the past – but it is okay to learn from it. Don’t live in the future – but you can have hope for it. Wherever you go, there you are.

Learning to surf

You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.  - Swami Satchitananda



That's the quote pushing me forward day to day lately. My horse life is wonderful.  Brilliant, really. And as it's what I tend to write about most on my blog of late, the rest of life seems to get lost in the jumble.  And currently, life outside my horses and my pup is not so stupendous.

I'm at a point in life where I just feel stuck. I'm doing my best to not be such a planner of my future like I used to be. I'm really trying to just go with the flow. And I'm better at doing that, truly. But I feel so stuck lately.

I'm beyond ready to get out of my hometown, get my own place and nest in it and decorate, explore a new place, make new friends, and *hopefully* explore new trails with the animals. But despite applying for 23 jobs since December within my agency, I'm still here. I haven't quit trying, but this whole "trying" thing is getting frustrating with every "eligible, but not referred" notice I receive. I'm being persistent and trying my damndest to be patient. I'm busying myself with a million other things in the mean time, but I'm really beginning to lose hope.

There are a series of other issues within my relationship (or lack thereof), my current job, and more or less this funk I seem to be stuck in that are really beginning to get to me. Its likely just "this time of year" with everyone going back to school. I miss college, but the next step for me with school would be to get my MS, and frankly, I'm just not ready to do that. If the perfect opportunity came up, sure, but I haven't seen any opportunities that blow my mind yet.

All of these things are all just part of life and the stresses we all experience at one time or another. They're like waves. Little and big stressors constantly coming that we can either flounder around in or learn to surf.

I'm learning to surf.

I'm learning to read the waves to pick the best ones and ignore the small ones. I'm learning to work over and through them. I'm doing my best to be more present in what I'm doing, appreciate what I have going for me right now, in this moment. I'm trying to make the best of what I have going for me. And I'm really hoping a really incredible wave is going to come my way soon...

Options

The future of my current job is officially bleak.  While I am saddened by this I am also forced to think about what I can potentially do come January 1 to keep me busy and put money into my bank account.

Option 1: The unbelievable happens and my job gets an extension & life resumes as per the norm.
Option 2: I get my dream job out in Jackson, WY (I applied for a position out there last week on a whim.  Its 6-month temporary but involves necropsies of ungulates and seems to suggest that I would also be working from horseback.  Can you say "Liz's dream job"?!  Even if I would be working in the snow and cold...)
Option 3: I become a pro-patroller at Canaan and get paid to do what I've been training to do these past six months.  This would involve either car-pooling or finding a friend w/ a spare room [and dog friendly] so I wouldn't have to drive back and forth all the time since my car is a flop on gas in the winter.
Option 4: I explore options as a vet-tech.
Option 5: I volunteer and help out the local equine vet on her rounds as something to do to get me out of the house.  I'd learn lots, too.  And, no, I don't want to go to vet school.  The stress would kill me -  both in-school and work-world.  Being on-call constantly and working 50-80 hours/week wouldn't suit this chick.
Option 6: Go back to assisting a dog groomer/bather.
Option 7: Tutor.
Option 8: House-sit, baby-sit, pet-sit to rake in any and all potential cash.
Option 9: Exercise folks horses.  Though the economy is so pooey that folks probably don't have the cash to pay for this.  If my car were a little better on gas monetary reimbursement wouldn't be such an issue, but alas, my MPG sucks.

Options are good - very good.  And obviously I have multiple ways and places to volunteer to keep me busy.  Busy shouldn't be a problem.  But I need some cash-flow to continue to pay for my OSU courses && put away into savings.  Silly economy, can you fix yourself already?  Or, rather, silly politicians, can you quit blaming one another and just work on helping people - that is why you were elected, right?

Anyone have any other ideas for me?  I refuse to work in fast-food, Wal-Mart, etc.  If I'm going to work, I'm going to do something I love and enjoy.

Real-world ups and downs

Flipping back through blog entries for confirmation, its now officially later than it was the last time I got my extension to stay at this job longer.  The last extension came 7 weeks prior to what I thought would be my last day.  Now my new last day is a mere 6 weeks away and I have not been called in for those magic words that will mean I get to stay.  I'm getting nervous.  I like this job a lot.  I feel like I've made a big difference doing what I'm doing.  I'm learning so much.  I really don't know what I will do if it is over.

I'm looking and applying for other jobs here and there, not many, and not frequent, and I'm not going after them full-force.  But I'm trying, sadly trying, but trying.  Ideally I'd find something nearby so I could continue my on-the-hill ski patrol training at Canaan.

Time will tell.  

Had a brief moment of ohgodI'mgonnadie last night.  Town was a shiny slick of black ice and I sorely underestimated the whole "bridge ices before road" concept.  I was beyond fortunate that no one was near me at. all.  Crossed a bridge, car took out from under me (Toyota 4Runner, mind you), 180 in one direction, 180 in the other direction, 180 turned 360 in the first direction again, stall out facing oncoming traffic in. the. middle. of. an. intersection.  Oh boy, oh boy, can you say adrenaline rush?  Couldn't feel my legs for a moment due to it!  Thank goodness for distance between me and others and the ability of others to come to a halt where I failed to do so!!  Note to self: 4Runner does not ice skate well.

I was beginning to get a little down, first the thought of my job ending, and then a near wreck....  

But then I went to the riding club meeting last night I run into the Backcountry Horsemen rep. for our state.  Her first words to me were words I'd spoken to her back in October, "Take me, mold me".  She has set up an opportunity for me to go to NC/TN in Great Smoky Mountain National Park (a place I [surprisingly] have not been to) for a Leave No Trace Master Educator Course, a combination Leave No Trace Trainer & Pack horse course, and a LNT Pack course practicum - on the AT! For those who may be unaware, horses aren't allowed on the AT (Appalachian Trail in case you have forgotten from my previous posts).  But we are helping to maintain the trail so horses WILL be allowed for this special occasion. 

Big flippin' deal, y'all.  

It will encompass about 3 weeks of my June 2012.  I will emerge with a huge new set of skills I'm pretty psyched about, too.  Learning how to pack horses and travel in the backcountry with them is something I've dreamed about being able to do since I was really little.  I never realized how much work it entailed until I started putting a potential 3-day trip together in my head and on paper for this summer.  Obviously it never happened.  There were just too many details and it drove me mad that I wasn't comfortable with all of them. So I ix-nayed the idea.  Now I will learn, and I will be prepared in the future.  It will allow me a little more freedom to do some things in the future.

Life's back on the positive side now.

The real-positive side actually.  I was contacted by a rep. from Mountain Khakis this morning, a company whose products have gotten me through nearly all of my outdoors pursuits for the last 2½ years with flying colors, I stand by them all the way [seriously, CHECK THEM OUT], and she asked me if I would be interested in being the female Ambassador feature in their 2012 magazine.  Seriously?!  Wow.  Flattered, psyched, and more than happy to do it!  I'm working on gathering photos and a write-up currently.  I suppose I shall have to update y'all later when it comes out!

So my downs have been countered with two ups.  Karma?  Who knows, but I'm going to roll with it and keep hoping for some more good news about life and what it entails in the next few months.

Bouncing back

Aaannnd rebound!  Its what I'm trying to do.  Okay, okay, so maybe I'm not as down-trodden as I thought I'd be by [yet another] rejection from a pursued graduate school advisor.  I'm back on track pursuing more.  My research goals have altered quite a bit.  My heart-of-hearts would have me studying wild ass in Mongolia or that species of camel that seems so elusive, but studying ungulates is mondo pricey and seemingly impossible to find a program to do it.  So I'm evolving what I want to take these huge energy issues into account - Marcellus or wind energy.  Wind turbines and raptors is my current pursuit.  I have a professor in mind, so we shall see.

I have come to the conclusion that I'm ready to pursue graduate school.  I'm going to pursue it and try to get in somewhere sometime soon.  I recognize that this is still a vague and fuzzy timeline, but I have to keep trying and pursue something!  I'd like to get in and out of grad school sooner than later so I can really establish myself in the real world and continue making a difference in my field.  And I know I won't feel fulfilled with myself until I have my MS under my belt.  I love my job now, I really do - but I'd feel so much better after more school!  Honestly, I'd be a professional student if it were feasible!

:  :  :

Big meetings in work Wednesday and Thursday.  And then my long weekend in Morgantown to catch up with friends, enjoy Halloween, and have a grand ole time!  I'm pretty psyched to see some people I haven't in months.  Its the worst part about being so busy.

:  :  :

I shall leave you with these today, taken and edited on my new HTC Inspire with some sweet free apps suggested by Chronicles of a Country Girl.

Peak autumn in WV a couple weeks ago

Best friends

Fuzzy lover

My day-to-day

Busy. [updates]

Legit the busiest person ever.

Monday & Tuesday - work until 5:30p, tutoring until 7:30p, home to crash by 9:30p
Wednesday - work until 4:30p, riding w/ the girls until dark, visiting/helping friends until 8p or so
Thursday - off to Morgantown for work and then staying there - Sunday for play
Next week - Work, tutoring, riding, just like this week; 
Next weekend - Morgantown bound
Following work week, same bit as before
Following weekend, out of state
Aaaannd repeat with a different weekend schedule that involves ski patrol
Aaaand repeat + Thanksgiving
Aaaand repeat + ski patrol testing

Aaaaaand THEN, I kinda sorta have some free weekends.  Kinda.  Sorta.  They're full of ski patroling/patrol training at two different resorts.  Ah, life.

So its not that I'm busy with things I dislike, not in the slightest!  Every day from now until mid-December is just planned out.  And I'm sure by the time I get to December I'll have weekends planned through April or something.  Legit busiest person ever.

And honestly?  I wouldn't have it any other way.  I get sluggish when I sit still.  Granted, I long and hope and wish and want for a lazy day every now and again.  One to laze around and do NOTHING, maybe not even get out of bed - but those don't come often.

I'm pretty happy.  Not too much to complain about!

:  :  :

Oh, a note on NSP training; we're almost done.  And its kind of scary.  The training scenarios of late have involved a lot of mid-shaft femur fractures and our play-victims do some wonderful screaming, its just like real life...and at times, it really sucks.  Its freaky.  And its challenging.  And for fleeting moments I wish I didn't have to do it, but then I realize that's silly.  I love it.  I love the challenge.  I love that it makes me uncomfortable and I'm learning so much from it.  I love when the lightbulb comes on in my head and I'm all, "Oh, well duh, of course!" and suddenly everything is 10x easier and makes so much more sense!  Femurs still worry me; just the degree of pain the patient will be in...  But I've got a few more months of on the hill training partnered up before I have to freak out about being on my own.  Granted, now that I say that I'm certain I've doomed myself to dealing with something...  Sigh.  But seriously, I love patrol.

:  :  :

Still hammering out the details for my Halloween costume(s).  I really want to be a mime (different, yet easy)  but I have been unable to find a B&W striped shirt anywhere!  Going to look a few more places on Thursday night/Friday.  Otherwise...well, I don't know.  Cowboy perhaps.  Easy for me.  I have a cow costume, too.  Easy.  I guess we will see...  

Halloween?  Anyone else?  What are you going to be?

Education smeducation

Being shunted aside yet again by graduate school makes me want to run away and buy one of these for real this time:

http://www.belesemo.com/salesvideo/2011/Annetta.php

Is that a positive response to rejection?  Belesemo, I'm lusting after your horses hard.


Arrrrgh life.

Busy [with dreams]

Ooohhh my goodness I am the busiest person EVER.  My to-do list is never-ending.  Its huge.  And just as quickly as I cross something off I'm adding more.  But that's progress, right?  While I'm consumed for the rest of today and tomorrow, I would like to leave you with this lovely dream-house (a repost from haute2trot), made for a woman and her horse and its super eco-friendly/solar powered.  Siiiiggghhh.

http://www.forsythe-macallen.com/ColoradoHouseDiscription.htm

Club Fed

AKA the mad-awesome place I was paid to stay and eat at while I received valuable work training last week (and which made me realize I never, ever, ever have the desire to be a lawyer).

Classroom building

Dining hall ceiling

Other side of classroom building

That's right, beer prices were PHENOMENALLY AWESOME

And all-you-could-eat free popcorn!

I stayed in the back bottom corner of the left wing of this building - Aldo Leopold

White car was my rig for the week; epic clouds!

Unadon - flipping amazing!  From a restaurant in Shepherdstown.

Shepherdstown

Sold.

He’s got speed.  He can boogie.  And I’ve watched him develop from this awkward horse that didn’t know quite what running meant to a horse that truly enjoyed going fast.  It takes very little encouragement in the form of a smooching noise to get him to pop up into a canter.  More smooching and he’ll push into a gallop.  He loves the woods the best for all of this.

I can tell with all of his rehab for his injury that he truly appreciates what I’m doing to make him feel better.  Its noticeable how much better he feels. 

I’ve tried to bond with Orion.  I care a lot about him.  Evident in my efforts to help him out.  And that’s why I’ve had such a hard time thinking about letting him go.  I’ve put so much effort into him. He’s been mine.  My first horse.  But not what I’d planned on at all.  Sooooo many bumps in the road with him.  I’ve learned a ton taking care of him.  I’ve dealt with many of his issues before in other horses, but not so directly.  When I worked at a boarding facility for a year or so I saw a lot of different horse issues.  But dealing with them head on like I have had to do with Orion has been different.  Its been good.

I know he has the opportunity to mold into an amazing horse.  I have in my minds-eye exactly how he’ll look when he’s fat and healthy.  When his topline looks better, when his stomach barrels out away from his ribs some more.  When he looks like the image of health.   

But one thing is certain; I’ve had enough people tell me now that his conformation isn’t very conducive for endurance riding.  And that is where my heart lies.  He’ll probably be a great trail horse for this and that and whatever.  But for where my heart lies, nope.  And, also as people have pointed out, why should I pump so much money into a horse that is a toss up?  I should pump money into a sure thing if I’m going to do it at all.

And so, I sold him to a very sweet girl (another redhead, score! –haha), and I know he will have a perfect life with her, and she will love the poo out of him!  Jordan taking Orion is the best option.  And I know he’ll bond with her.  And he will be with his friends again.  He will be spoiled silly.   He’ll get to move slow like he needs with his rehab –  as she has big plans for a lot of fun groundwork to build a bond with him.  His recovery will be solid and shouldn’t falter.  Its really the best option for everyone.  Jordan gets her first equine companion – a dream for her like it has been for me.  He gets the life he wants and deserves (if a horse could really want something).  And I get a burden off my shoulders and have lots of doors opened [again] for me to go to grad school out of state, travel, learn, live.

Ultimately, I feel this sense of emotional attachment, and I hate giving up and getting rid of something I’d thought I would devote myself to for a long time – its just so hard giving up on something I'd wanted for so long.   But, what I wanted for so long and what I got are two very distinctly different things.  I guess I'll always feel a tug for Orion because he's my very first horse. 

The news that I probably won’t have my job after September 30, I have a lot of things to mull over. 

This morning boss-lady says, "Can I talk to you for a second?"  I get up and follow her to her office not knowing what to expect only to hear these words, "We've been working 'behind the scenes' and I can say with certainty that we have funding to keep your position on through December 31st of this year, do you accept?"  To which I immediately responded, "Hot diggity!"  I'd just been mope-ily searching for jobs online.  No more!!

I plan on sticking around until my Nat’l Ski Patrol training (OEC and on-the-hill work) is over.  I may look into the feasibility of being a pro-patroller this winter to make money if my position isn't extended a second time.  We will see.  That would still be a big commute every day.  I need to save up.

Once spring rolls around though, NSP training will be over.  And I’m thinking harder every day about moving out to Oregon.  I’m already enrolled in the Graduate school out there.  I could take classes on-campus.  I could find a job out there with FWS or FS or BLM or NPS or something.  I could volunteer on University projects until an opening for a MS opened with a professor – and until then I will also actively pursue gaining my own funding for graduate school (a quest in itself).

Doors are open.  I can go wherever I choose.  This road or that.  I know one thing for certain – its time I get out of my home state for awhile.  WV has grown on me, and I’m happy here, but I need to explore and get a taste of somewhere else.  Its scary, but I really need to do it. 

Stepping stones

Well, I got the official, “Oh, by the way, we don’t have guaranteed funding for you to keep you on for a year like you thought.  So chances are good that you’ll be done at the end of September.”  Brilliant.

Honestly, maybe it’s a good thing?  I’d have more chances to get out and get more experience.  But hot damn is the money good at this job!  The work isn’t what I’d expected; but I’m learning SO much.  Its definitely been a valuable experience.  And I really don’t know what I’ll do if it ends when I wasn’t expecting it to…  Save, save, save until I find out for certain, I guess.

Maybe I’ll go back to Morgantown and find a temporary job until Nat’l Ski Patrol training is over.  I’m locked in to remaining in this area until I finish that.  And I’m completely okay with that.  Its something I really want to do – something I’ve always wanted to do.  And I’m really excited about it.  But it would be a lot easier for me to find a temporary job in Morgantown than it would be in Elkins.  Probably not doing anything spectacular, but a job is a job.  And if its something I could do and not be miserable doing that paid well – that would make me happy.  And while its nice not having to pay for housing currently, I know I could probably find a cheap room somewhere at a friend’s in the mean time (4 or 5 months).

Bbbllaaaaahhh!  I have so much confusion about my life and what I should do, what I could do, what I want to do.  I hate not knowing.  But opportunities present themselves if you keep your eyes open for them.  I’m sure something will come along for me.

 I don't know what I want.  Its like I need to cross a pond on stepping stones to not risk falling in.  Not all of the stones are visible; one is near, one is far, a couple in the middle I can see for certain.  Others are just under the surface, visible but not certain - I could slip on them.  Others yet are completely out of site.  But I can see some of them.  I have some idea of where I'm going and how I'm getting there.  I definitely have goals to work toward.  These things are important.

If I had unlimited resources what would I do?

-          Endurance train and race horses; travel; learn.  Do endurance around the world.  Put it all together into one giant amazing race piece by piece, one place at a time.

Orion update: He is doing a lot better after only a day of treatment.  The support in the thick bandaging is really helping him out and he's moving a lot better.  The medication and DMSO are really helping combat the inflammation finally.  Its dissipating a lot.  He's moving happier already.   Definitely on the mend and doing so well!  Its so encouraging.  Got him in some Ric Redden shoe/boots, too, to elevate his heels.  The angle is taking pressure off the injury even more and he's a lot happier.  The vet and I both feel that his recovery is going well and he's lined up to be a-okay as long as we take things slow!

Update brigade

Equine updates:

Pegasus does beautifully when he has a tie-down on, without it he throws his head allllll over and nearly bashes me in the face.  Its rather impressive.  He hasn’t reared up yet, but as his mother is known for it, I’d like to not take my chances.  Little horse has an unnaturally high head carriage as is, so hopefully with the aid of the tie down for now, he will learn to keep it lower and those urges to throw it up and around and all which-a-ways will end.

He responded well with the beautiful new hand-tied rope halter/bridle I ordered (viewed in photos of me on Pegasus).  I love, love, love how it turned out.  The craftsmanship is absolutely beautiful!!  And if snot-face responds to it, that says something because he has forcefully resisted most bits and another hackamore-type bridle I have tried on him.  Not to say he won’t respond, but it takes a ton of encouragement; he digressed in the two week hiatus I took from riding him.  He’s getting back to it though and will be better in no time.

Orion is still lame.  Still swollen.  Still ouchy.  BUT, he is closer to home now!  He now lives with Pegasus and Gracie – a brief 4 minute drive from my house!  Sure beats 20+ minutes!!  I have time again in my life to do things that are non-horse if I so choose. 

Right now Orion is separate from the other two and will probably remain so for awhile while everyone gets used to each other.  They are installing a gate into one fence line to allow him access to grass in the orchard.  Its all grass and not much clover or otherwise, so as long as he doesn’t colic from it, we’ll be good.  Time to get fat and sassy!

UNICORN!

I consulted my friend and equine vet and she came out this afternoon to see him.  Digital flexor definitely has some issues and probably other tendon/ligaments also.  We're doing DMSO sweat wraps and bute for the next five days barring and sort of reaction.  The wraps will continue for awhile longer.  I finally feel like we're getting somewhere.  Going to add some sort of shoe with a heel to it to help take more pressure off his tendons.  His splayed-foot posture that has developed is definitely due to the pain he's dealing with.  Super slopey pasterns and splayed feet are his way of compensating.  He did trot on lead line (he's never done this) today when she blocked out his feet and back of fetlocks (numbed them up) to determine where the pain was located.  He liked not feeling the pain!

Real world updates:

Last two weeks I’ve been lucky enough to get out of the damn air-conditioned office and into the field (right in the midst of this wonderful heat, lucky me).  All trips have been in concordance with EPA, US Army Corps of Engineers, and DEP.  Last week’s visits were to Marcellus Shale sites.  Oh. My. Goodness.  If you’re not from the Northeast, I’m not sure how much you may or may not have heard about Marcellus Shale drilling.  There is a documentary that came out a couple years ago – which I have yet to see – that is called Gasland.  It tells of all the mal-effects of hydro-fracking, the favored process for extracting natural gas.  And, as with all documentaries, it sways the viewer into disliking this new industry.  Marcellus may be good for the economy, jobs, etc., but it seems that there isn’t a great amount of long-term knowledge about the effects of Marcellus on the land.  

I love these kids!  Noah, Leana, and Nonee

The Marcellus industry has begun to take over West Virginia.  They boast the availability of hundreds and thousands of jobs; quote that they have filled restaurants and motels again; that this industry will provide so much for the state and the country.  But what they don’t talk about is how they swindle farmers out of their land.  How some of them avoid following recommendations by the Corps, EPA, or DEP when they install well-pads and pipelines.  How they are fragmenting the forest and causing sedimentation to injure streams.  What I saw last week was not pretty and it really woke me up.

The people I met who are working for the companies were wonderful.  They recognized their mistakes and were striving to rectify them in the best ways possible.  They were good-ol’-country boys doing what they could to make a living for themselves and their families.  They were genuine and likeable – or perhaps that is the very ploy they use to get what they want.  The jury is out on that for me.

Bottom line, Marcellus Shale is in a gold-rush mentality right now and there just aren’t enough solid regulations about all of it.  I think its too-much too-fast.  Shale-ionaires are out to make their money wham-bam quick before us hillbillies realize what happened.  Time will tell.  My eyes have certainly been opened on the subject and I will be taking a keen interest in it from now on out.

This is one of my favorite places in all the world (taken on Spruce Knob; WV's highest point at 4863 ft.)

 Let me say though, watching those men maneuver those big, yellow machines (because I don’t really know what they’re all called) was FREAKING AWESOME!  Sooo much skill.  I was mesmerized.  DEP, EPA, my partner, and the Corps were busy discussing permitting issues with a stream crossing (through an endangered mussel stream) and I was gaping at the skill at which these men got those machines off the trucks and how they could drive them up one of the STEEPEST, muddiest embankments I’ve ever witnessed.  Holy moly!  And Chevy trucks, too!  Chevy could definitely make a commercial, haha!

Yesterday my field visit involved a good ol’ coal mine and some sliiiiccckk talkin’ fellas who wanted to make it happen.  All the agencies met with the company about a proposed mine site and then we visited the site to see issues with streams and wetlands and to see what they propose to do to rectify the issues.  It was really interesting and not all bad.  Going to be a lot of work, but in the long run, I think it will be good.  One thing though – if you’re going to attempt to persuade a group of state and government agencies to give you a permit and YOU are the one doing a lot of the sweet talking, please dress and talk the part!  Crocs, camo shorts, and a surf-company t-shirt, using “was” instead of “is”, and other common stereotypical mistakes that the culture in this area tends to make = not impressive or professional.  That kind of demeanor may get landowners to allow you onto their property, but it doesn’t do much in the way of impressing your professional audience of your ability to perform your duties… or maybe that’s just me.

Personal updates:

Well, me-time is minimal these days.  My work schedule has me working 9 hours Mondays – Thursdays each week, with one 8 hour Friday and the other one off every two week period.  I chose this for myself, and I like it, but it makes evening down time hard right now.  Since Orion is closer, that should make things better.  But my marathon month of being super busy every weekend is still in full swing.  Once the endurance race is over (this weekend; I'm volunteering) I should have a little more time to sit down and do other things.  My desk and dresser top are cluttered with random items that I chuck there as I come and go.  It wouldn’t take more than an hour (max) to clear all this up, but I just can’t seem to find the time!

I feel as if I haven’t seen enough of Kenai lately, too.  Its really sad.  But with the heat situation as of late, and my busy schedule, its hard to keep him included without being concerned for heat stroke.  His coat has REALLY thinned out, but he just drools and bubbles if he becomes exerted.  So I don’t know.  For now I’m just keeping him inside most of the day.  It will be cool again soon.

I do have three pleasure books to start on though.  One that my boss lent me about the Arctic because he thinks I’ll enjoy it, and two others I ordered from Amazon because I’ve wanted to read them for awhile.  They give me something to look forward to; something to get lost in.

I go to training at the National Conservation Training Center in two weeks.  While I will have classes during the day the evenings I will have off to just veg out in my super sweet room - just me - in the lodge.  I plan on taking yarn to knit and books to read.  Going to be nice to kind of have a getaway.

Nat'l Ski Patrol training started this past weekend!  Flipping SWEET.  I'm super excited for it to continue.  I excel at this kind of thing.  I don't have to think too hard about a lot of it; its stuff I've delved into before because I'm interested in it.  Its all so much fun and I"m learning a ton already.  It'll make snow season seem not-so-bad for once.  

Lately I've been a pessimist about a lot of things; dwelling on the negative and not focusing on the positive.  I'm making a point daily to get out of this habit.  I'm a work in progress; I'm getting there.

**And obviously picture content doesn't match the written content for this post.  These photos are from two weekends ago.  All pictures in this post by this guy.  I beat him over the head with a rock pestered the crap out of him to get them to me in a quick manner.  Thanks for that.

Mondays

Such an awful case of the Mondays.  I keep encouraging myself that today WILL be a good day, but I don’t know.  I’m just not in it; not with it.  And its mornings like this that make me wonder is this really what I want to be doing with my life?  Maybe I’d be happier with something else outdoors related, more parks & recreation?  But then I wonder if I would be selling myself short to do something like that instead of this?  Because its just when I’m stretched and pushed that I get frustrated, but a good job should stretch and push you.  Being able to settle in and get comfortable wouldn’t be as fun.  I sure am having difficulties currently though.

I think a big part of that is that this is the first summer that I don’t have that light at the end of the tunnel; that light that means come August, I’ll be released from the real world to run back to the sanctuary of college.  The security of my studies and friends and all that is normal and comfortable.  That won’t be happening this year and its beyond foreign to me.  And it scares me – a lot.  I’m trying to come to terms with it, but its hard.

I’m trying each day, especially weekends, to learn how to BE.  To be in the moment, to appreciate the present and not look too far forward or backward.  To not become too worried with things I can’t change.  Some book or movie or something I came across lately had this line from a character, “If I won’t be worrying about it on my death bed, why should I worry about it now?”  It’s a little extreme, yes, but it has merit.  I worry a lot, not so much lately as I used to, but still a bit more than I should.  I need to let more go.  Move on, just BE.

Weekends have been easy.  I’m limiting my cell phone usage on weekends.  Not texting or calling.  My social networking online has been minimal, too.  I’m just embracing the here-and-now on the weekends.  So pleasant.

The work week is a little harder because I welcome all distractions. I’m not committed to this whole thing yet.  It scares me.  But I’m trying.  And I’ve come a long way in a month, I really have.  I hit the ground running with this job.  Its not the position I anticipated having, and so I’ve struggled.  But I’m adapting.  And its only a year, right?  Granted a year is a long time, yet so little in the grand scheme of things. 

Orion’s training for the race (in 27 days) is hard to fit in lately.  Its wearing me down to put in the mileage I need to put in.  Rewarding to see him excelling so much though.  So rewarding.  But I need to pick up the pace still.  I’m just so exhausted from fitting in everything.  But I’m not someone to give up something I’ve started and have gotten so far into.  And I love riding, I do.  Its just hard currently to fit in the mileage and eat – since evidence last week points out that I am not capable of rough riding on a full stomach, ha.  But little man has found his stride, he’s kicking some butt on timings/mileage thus accomplished.  Great to see him excelling.

Here’s to hoping I find my stride, too.

Factoid blippits

• ·         1812 Overture & Stars and Stripes Forever + fireworks + being at one of America’s most notable battlefields of all time [Antietam] makes for a memorable holiday experience

 

• ·         Chuck E Cheese isn’t quite as fun as it used to be, but still quite enjoyable as a 20-something
• ·         The percentage of people near to me who are truly in-touch with reality is strikingly low
• ·         750mL of bubbly can be consumed in a few short hours by one person
• ·         Sushi & extreme holiday-sale shopping can combat all evils (hurrah for NY&Co & Banana Republic)
• ·         Artsing and craftsing my own horse tack is possible

  

  nom nom-ing on some alfalfa

• ·         More pros added to the Liz-shouldn’t-have-kids category – don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy playing with most children, but too many drive me mad; I like rescuing their parents for a brief stint and being able to return said children later.  However there are three kids entwined in my life right now that I love to death
• ·         My horse thinks he is a mountain goat
• ·         Wood thrush calls are completely magical (http://identify.whatbird.com/obj/683/_/Wood_Thrush.aspx
• ·         A misty woodland dusk ride alone with my horse restores all happiness and calms all stress
•  ·        Chip, our not-really pet Eastern box turtle is back for the ump-teenth year in a row to lay her eggs again
  
• Orion is capable of cantering for 4 straight miles and being barely out of breath!  Hurrah!
• Throwing up while on horseback is possible - I don't suggest chugging Sprite, Gatorade, or eating two sandwiches prior to doing hard riding (lol)
• Blogger --> Google blogs?  Blogger is so much more fun to say though....
• Construction. SUCKS.
• Found my niche at work; bring it on!  So happy to be busy at work.  =)
• But weekends are still the best - this one begins my off the grid weekends followed by only photos or nothing